According to Z

College Hockey Helmet Schools

2012-01-05T16:47:00.002-06:00

A tribute to Joe J. and Matt M.

In college football they are called helmet schools. They are the schools based on their helmet you know who they are. To earn Helmet School status, you also win a lot and have probably had a storied coach or two as well. Here are a few: Oklahoma, Alabama, Texas, Georgia, Michigan, USC, Tennessee, Florida, Florida State, Penn State and Miami. There are at least 10 more that I could name (and no, Wisconsin is not on that list). In Division 1 college football there are just over 100 teams, with 20 or so schools listed as helmet schools - the percentage for calculating other "helmet" schools in other sports is easy (20%).

So one day while running with a couple buddies (yes, they still make my mailing list somehow) - we got to the real deep topic of "helmet schools" and how that term may apply in other college sports. Since basketball players don't wear helmets - although they may consider it if they play Tubby's clan of brick throwers - we eliminated college hoops. Since no one watches college baseball, we eliminated that as well. So all we had left was College Hockey. Aaaaaaah, College Hockey -- one of my favorite sports.

Okay, back to the run. So based on the 20 percent number in football and the fact that there are only 40 or so teams in D1 hockey, the number should be at 8. But there is no way juggernauts like Mercyhurst, Alabama-Hunstville and RIT (would have chosen Quinnipiac but I can't spell it) should be considered as viable DI opponents, much less Community Colleges like Bemidji and St. Cloud State. So my number got widdled to 6. Here they are:

1. Boston University
2. Boston College
3. Maine
4. Michigan State
5. Minnesota
6. North Dakota
7. Wisconsin
8. Michigan

Criteria: National Titles, Storied coach or two, big following, legendary players, recognizable sweater...

But Tony, you said 6?

I did. Don't worry, I'll get to that part.

BU, Michigan and BC are in for sure, so are Minnesota, WI, and UND. The other two, Maine and MSU are bubble Helmet teams. For argument sake they get the boot down to Under Consideration with a few others. They just don't hold enough water, in my opinion. MSU has the biggest claim, but they will always be Michigan's caddy if you ask me (see Michigan's selection to a BCS Bowl as supporting evidence). Maine had a nice run -- won some titles but lacks longevity compared to the top 6.

Final List (from East to West):

1. BC 2. BU 3. Michigan 4. Wisconsin 5. MN 6. UND

Under Consideration:

Maine, MSU, Colorado College, Denver, UNH (stands for University of No Hardware) and Notre Dame (got a brand new rink, it holds 5,000 people...ca

Gimme a Break:

Miami of Ohio, Michigan Tech

Joe Paterno is Guilty

2011-11-09T11:05:00.001-06:00

As most of you know, I'm a huge college football fan and a huge fan of tradition and institutions like Joe Paterno. In fact, what he stood for in today's Nick Saban-Pete Carroll world of fame and money grab - it made me love Joe Pa even more. He was what he was. Old School.

But like many old institutions, they tend to have skeletons.

From the sounds of the Jerry Sandusky grand jury indictment...Penn State football had a morgue full of skeletons buried under Beaver Stadium.

Let's cut to the chase, Mike McQueary is a pussy. He was an eye witness to a rape/assault and went home and called his dad. Seriously Mike? How about you go in there and ask, "Coach Sandusky, why are you having sex with this boy against his will?" Or do what I would have done...just stood there long enough and made the situation uncomfortable enough to the point they would have stopped. There are stronger jellyfish than you Mike. Now the real reason he is a pussy is because in 2002, he witnessed a rape by a now ex-coach who officed in the facility he worked. At the time of this incident, he was a Grad Assistant, but then mysteriously became an Assistant coach the next year. Coincidence? No, that is not a coincidence.

Here is how it went down in the Fall of 2002.

Joe Pa: Mike, we want you to join our staff next year full time.
Mike: That's awesome.
Joe Pa: You work hard as an Administrative Assistant (2003), we'll get you on the field the year after (2004).
Mike: That's awesome.
Joe Pa: You're now part of the family.
Mike: (bewildered) Okaaaaaay????

The rest is history. McQueary went on to coach and work at PSU from 2004 to today as a Full Time Assistant (WR coach).

The next set of Pussies are the people getting there jobs taken away, the President and AD. By all accounts there only job was to save the institution of Joe Paterno and Penn State football. Obviously they failed and deserved to be fired for not doing a better job of covering it up (tongue in cheek). They were doomed either way. Firing Joe Paterno would hold the same course for an Administrator as Myles Brand did by firing Bob Knight....but imagine Joe coached at PSU for 61 years compared to Knight's paltry 29 at Indiana.

But the biggest Pussy in this whole thing (besides Sandusky of course) is Joe Pa. I know, I know tearing down Joe Pa is easy right now. But the guy is guilty of being loyal. And guilty of being stubborn to get rid of Sandusky all together. He is not guilty of a crime. But you can fill in the blanks of all the other stuff he is guilty of.

When the dust settles on this thing there will be 3 camps:

Joe Paterno is God. Those worshippers came out in droves last night in State College
Penn State Football was ruined by Mike McQueary and Jerry Sandusky.
Joe Paterno controlled everything in State College...he should be fired, and not allowed to continue to coach, even this Saturday. If you go to the game and cheer for this mess of a football program you should take a hard look in the mirror.

I feel sad for college football today, but mostly I feel sad for these kids and their families because the nasty underbelly that is the power and the greed of college football was so great that it denied them their basic rights they deserved.

Shaking my head.

Sports Rock Bottom

2011-10-17T16:18:00.000-05:00

Everybody has a sports rock bottom. Over the last 90 days, I hope I have hit it and now I'm coming out of it. Here are a few lowlights:

1. All of my favorite teams in season are turrible (a la Sir Charles).

- Gopher Football (I went to Purdue last weekend...it looked like a D2 scrimmage versus a real Big 10 game with 75K fans cheering).

- The Purple (momma always said, if you don't have anything nice to say....)

- Twins (see previous whine blogs)

- The Wild holds a lead like Jeff Lobl holds his pee.

- The Gopher Winter men have done so little lately that my hope is almost gone (and so will my season ticket checks by the way)

2. I can name the starting 5 to the MN Lynx (and 2 or 3 subs)...that is sad. Congratulations to the World Champion MN Lynx. Ok, quickly name 3 other teams in the WNBA besides Atlanta, NY, and LA....and no the Charlotte Trim is not one of them...buzzzzzzzzz.....times up (I only could name 7 without Google).

3. The Gopher's biggest rival is on the verge of a Heisman trophy award finalist and very good chance of a BCS championship game appearance vs. the SEC champion as we plod through 1-11.

Okay, I could name off 25 more reasons I hate being a sports fan..but you guys would be jumping off of a building if I kept going. So to spice things up, I had a few other sports rock bottom inspiration's occur to me the last few weeks.

Inspiration #1 is a buddy of mine (let's call him Big Doug), who is a huge St. John's football fan. He referred me to this site. Yes, there is a website dedicated to Division 3 football (proof people will read anything, including this blog). So in case you don't follow D3 football, St. John's is a juggernaut...just ask Doug. Last year SJU lost to it's territorial rival St. Thomas for the first time in a long time (20+ years)...SJU/UST is a big rivalry for a million reasons (both catholic, it's student body's went to HS/church together, some families have both Tommies and Johnnies, etc). This year, the Tommies took the Johnnies out back and gave them 20 years worth in one 3 hours time slot....63-7. I've known Doug for 15 years, it's the first time I've ever seen him with the "my team is horrible" look on his face.

Inspiration #2

Speaking of my team is horrible...how about those Longhorns? Texas football is to Indiana basketball, Minnesota hockey, etc. They have the biggest of everything -- including idiotic head coach who literally stopped coaching the night Vince Young made USC look like slow motion a few years back. After losing to the Oklahoma's of the world the 'horns will be happy with a 4th place finish in the Big 12 South. Texas not playing NYD is like MN or Indiana missing the NCAA tournament (inexcusable) in their stronghold sport.

Inspiration #3

You're a Red Sox fan and read the Herald to find out this year's edition is the Best Ever, heck you watch a few games in the first half of the season and it seems true. Their record at the All Star break suggested they would laugh all the way to ALCS at the very least. They had pitching, hitting, defense, and lots of guys named Sully wearing their green "Sawks" hat sitting behind home plate calling their other buddy Sully telling them he's on TV. Well, the fun ended for Sully and a bunch of other guys on a rainy night in Baltimore. The Sawks went from IN (Rays down 7-0 to Yanks in the 8th inning) to possible 1 game playoff, to OUT all in a matter of 2 hours time. How cruel does it get?

Not sure what's worse....being good for a long time and then sucking (see Texas) or just sucking and never figuring it out (see MN Football)?

Top 10 Sports Fans

2011-09-06T13:59:00.000-05:00

This post is for my 66 buddies who I email this blog.

While talking to a buddy (see #1) today he mentioned he may skip watching Minnesota/USC game Saturday in favor of a neighborhood party. I told him his Top 10 Sports Fan status would be in jeopardy. He inquired what the criteria for this high regard was....I told him, "read my blog and you'll find out."

The following is a list of 10 dudes who make my top 10 list - 66 total dudes - the criteria was generated by a crack committee of sports experts and a panel of Sea Lions off the coast of Chile.

Criteria: must be passionate about ALL sports (Men's Figure Skating is not a sport, it's for men who couldn't play another sport, period). Liking some sports is an automatic DQ (if you need to ask what DQ is, you're probably not gonna make the list). You can show no signs of bandwagon-ism (that eliminates my wife Debi....she magically became a Packer fan again last Winter). And for tiebreaker purposes being a good athlete helps your cause.

10. Scott Polman: Hailing from Shakopee, Minnesota - Scott is the guy who speaks sports, not english. He refers to players on his favorite teams by first name (e.g. Donovan has a great arm), he uses Ron Jaworski type language (e.g. two deep zone and 8 in the box) about sports that he never even played. But the #1 reason he makes this list is he always thinks his team is going to win the prize (e.g. "...the Vikes with the last place schedule are going to make a run this year....").

9. Jay Ettinger: This guy barely makes the list. He is a sports fan Times Ten. I just hate his choice of teams to follow: LA Dodgers and North Carolina Hoops (what is it 1982??? - c'mon Jay, bump the Levi cordorouys and get with the times).

8. Dave Krikke: This guy is a noob to my blog, but he memorizes each word to this blog like a Bible verse (that would qualify most). But this guy bleeds sports (again despite poor choices like the Yankees and Hawks) - his lack of hockey knowledge doesn't keep him out of the top 10, mostly because he respects it as a cultural icon here in MN.

7. Carl Monty: passionate about all sports, loyal to his teams (White Sox, Wolverines, Red Wings, etc) - his athleticism hurts him for sure.

6. Dave Lissauer: First of all, any guy who gives himself his own knickname (Deuce) scores points on the Sports Fan list. A die hard Indians, Cavs, and Browns fan, Deuce is one for the ages. Whenever he's feeling a little big for his britches these phrases usually come in handy: "The Drive", "The Shot", "The Fumble", or my favorite "Edgar Rentieria".

5. Steve Monson: Steve and I go way back. Steve met his wife on a baseball trip to East Lansing, MI to watch his brother play against MSU. Whenever and wherever there is a game -- Steve (like his dad Rich) will be there. Lives in Dallas and is more connected on Minnesota sports than anyone I know.

4. Tony/Scott Cattelino: They both deserve a spot on this list...but ranking one higher than the other would be offensive. My brother/father in-law combo is a treat to be around (except when the Gophers play the Badgers). They know it and love it all (they're admittedly weak in hockey, but still follow it).

3. Jeff Lobl: this guy defines sports fan -- sports drips out of his pours every minute of every day. Loyal is an understatement, he's Pitt Panther football fan through and through (he proposed to his wife on the 50 yard line of Pitt Stadium with and gave his wife an autographed ball of then coach Johnny Majors). Jeff's short coming is his huge disdain of anything basketball. If you asked him who LBJ is he'd say that crummy president from the '60's.

2. Pete Johnson: I remember the first day I met Pete (September, 1986). Imagine the first day Wally Pip met Lou Gehrig. I thought I knew everything about sports - this guy put me to shame within 5 minutes. I felt like that guy in Amadeus who knew he's never be as good as Mozart. The guy is a sports encyclopedia. Now if he could only beat me in golf or backgammon.

1. Joe Janasz: The Polish Bow and Arrow....this guy is D, all of the above. I am continually amazed by his fandom. There isn't an event he misses...he is as die hard as they come (he walked home from the Dome after the 98 NFC Championship Game). The other day we show up at a party after watching the Minnesota/USC game for 3+ hours he gets out of the car with an Oregon t-shirt on. I'm like, "Joe, what's with the Duck shirt?" To which he responds, "hey, if you got an Oregon shirt on, the odds of us seeing the game tonight just doubled!!!!!" On top of his fandom the guy runs at least 3 marathons a year, plays 40 rounds of golf, and coaches winning baseball.

Others receiving votes: Jeff Traylor (he'd be #1 if this were the University of Texas only category), Debi Zosel (for marrying me), Mark McCrory (he'd make my list - but Bears and Yankees is an automatic DQ), and my Mom (for letting me come home from Kindergarten to 12th grade to watch the State High School Hockey Tournament).

Besides the worst team, the Twins have worst names, too

2011-08-10T13:19:00.001-05:00

There are certain guys that have great baseball names and immediately strike a fear in you...the first great name I remember was Cesar Cedeno. I remember just saying it the first time and it was fun, but on top of that he was a pretty good ball player, he was even better because of his name. A few more off the top of my head: Jaoquin Andujar, Reggie Jackson, Gorman Thomas, Vladamir Guerrero and now Joey Votto....these guys were/are all good/great players in their day, but their name seem/s to have have made them even better (at least to me).

Let's take a look at my beloved Twins. Their best power hitters are Justin, Jason and Michael. This sounds more like the makings of a suburban white-boy band than Murderer's Row. Their highest paid and marquee player is just Joe. And he likes being just Joe. Too bad Joe, you're a slap hitting Catcher with a Vitamin D Whole Milk contract that will forever strangle my profit slathering Twins.

I'm not done. Their pitcher names (except Liriano) are the worst in the majors: Scott Baker, Glen Perkins, Kevin Slowey, and Matt Capps. Carl Pavano sounds cool, but then you see him and his 84 mph fastball and then you're like, no....not cool.

So then you look to the young guns for hope: Ben Revere...sorry, he's not exactly riding in to save the day, or Trevor Plouffe...ah ah, not gonna do it.....Jason Repko...okay, you're starting to see my point. The list goes on and on: Delmon Young (nope, not cool), Matt Tolbert (buh bye) and Alex Burnett (end of story).

But Tony, what about Valencia or Nishi...those are cool names? Not if they can't hit out of a wet paper sack they're not cool.

Okay, I admit picking on the Twins isn't exactly risky at this point...they suck. But I guess it would be more fun if just one guy had a cool name and he backed it up a couple time a week.

Help me add to the list of cool names....send me a few.

Z

PS Not trading marketable players before July 30 deadline made about as much sense as Fox Sports keeping with the Cleatus The Robot gig. Shaking my head.

Baseball/Softball Summer Wrap Up - 4 forgettable encounters and one great 1

2011-07-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

An old friend (and let me stress the old part) once told me, "Tony, if your team wins with class and loses with dignity, that means you got the rest figured out. If you don't, you were either raised wrong or you got some unfinished athletic business and you're using someone else to get you there!!!"

This blog highlights 4 encounters I had this Summer that I'd rather forget, but each comes back to what my old friend said...and it also features one encounter that I will choose to always remember.

Encounter #1: I'm coaching in a boys baseball game and the best team (by far) is playing right after us. They pulled off the Triple Crown of prickhood in 15 minutes flat. They laughed at one of the players of our opponent's who struck out looking, they talked smack about being bored playing teams like ours and the team they were about to play and last but not least they barged into our dugout before we were even close to ready to vacate.

Encounter #2: While playing a game against a notorious team from south of the MN river...the other coach yelled so loud at his team and for so long that the other 3 fields stopped play to make sure lives weren't being sacrificed. In the same game, the same coach on 4 different occasions pulled 4 different kids for making errors (total class, dude). But his all time low light came after we swept them for the season, he said "I wouldn't take one of their players over any of his 12...." right to my face in front of like 5 of my kids and parents. Apparently this guy had given our team some thought.

Encounter #3: This is the true prize. While coaching my daughter's K-2 softball team...a friend observed the other team's coach encouraging his girls' rolling the ball to first base rather than the much more difficult approach of throwing it! This technique is offensive and sexist. No coach would ever teach a group of boys to do the same in order to win (I know, I coached K-2 boys for years and never saw this approach once). To add insult to injury, this team had a ground ball hit to their best player at Pitcher (she clearly knew how to throw it) who then rolled it to their second best person at 1st base (who clearly knew how to catch) for their team's only put out of the night. To which the coach yelled, "Nice Play.....that's how you do it!" To which I almost collapsed.

Encounter #4: Last night, my daughter's team is playing a playoff softball game (note: I was not there). Olivia's team is winning handily 14-2 to a completely overmatched team. Late in the game a girl on her team gets injured pretty badly. Through free substitution, another girl was placed in the game. What the head coach failed to realize was that the girl who was sent in had already played her minimum number of innings in the infield....the other coach noticed and immediately called our team on it and we were forced to forfeit the game. Read future blogs about this one....I think the title will be "C'mon get a clue moments". Sidebar: My daughter gets in the car, turns to my wife and says, "I'm so glad Dad wasn't here....he would have FREAKED!!!!" I honestly wouldn't have freaked...the rule is pretty clear on the substitutions...the assistant coach who innocently sent the girl out there didn't know...he felt awful. I probably would've mustered up a nice little barb for the lady who caught it, like "Do you watch golf tournaments and call the PGA when you see an infraction???"

Good One: This Summer, we had the good fortune of playing a team from Winona, MN called Goodview Sandlot. With special emphasis on the word Sandlot. This team had nicknames for all their kids...they had tall kids, short kids, fat kids, fast kids, white kids and even a black kid. For all their differences they had one thing in common - they loved baseball. Their coach fostered a love for the game amongst their kids - the rest took care of itself. Never once did he raise his voice, never once did he shout instruction to his players in the batters box or scream plays or give signals...he just let them play ball (note: the coach was a ripe 25 years old). We lost to them 3-1...had bases juiced in the bottom of the 6th and they brought in their Scotty Smalls to end it...and they did.

Father's Day

2011-06-23T09:23:00.000-05:00

So I'm coaching my son Jake's baseball team last weekend in a local tournament. Our team is just above average record-wise, but long on athletic ability and endless potential.

In the early innings, we can't hit their (Elk River) starter. The kid's fastest pitch was maybe 30 mph. Our kids constantly challenged to hit in the 60 MPH cage are completely baffled. The Elks peck away each inning and take a commanding lead into the bottom of the 6th ahead 8-2. I tell all 10 kids, we need to bat around in order to win...we've done it before, let's do it again (truly hoping to just get something positive brewing for our next game immediately following).

We start a little party -- couple hits, couple walks and boom just like that it's 8-5. They yank their pitcher, bring in another kid. Couple hits, a wild pitch...it's 8-7, no outs, they bring in their closer. Nobody out runner on 1st and 2nd, nicest kid under the sun (dripping with potential, has had a rough start to the season) drives a ball to the gap, score is tied. As the runner on first is rounding third, the cut off man bobbles the ball. As the third base coach I send him home....the throw.....safe on a wild throw. We win. We come back from 6 down and win in walk off fashion....9-8!

In the photo below you will see our kid sliding into home for the winning run and the umpire. But if you look closely you will see two males, one past his prime living the dream as a coach and one just hitting his prime - jumping for joy.

Why Kids Suck at Baseball

2011-05-18T14:24:00.001-05:00

Baseball is called America's pastime. That's because you can play it with a stick and a ball, the rules are simple -- and the heroes are likable and lovable with names like Whitey, Babe, Willie or just Joe. When we were kids we played ball around the clock. Some of the kids never played for a "team"...mostly because they weren't good enough, it cost money, or they didn't care enough to sign up. Kids in my 'hood just played to play.

In 1998, I moved to the suburbs....two doors down there were two brothers (Eric and Matt) that played all day long. Screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs at every close play, every home run -- all with a passion I once played with. In an odd way I was jealous of the passion they played with because now my passions had switched to coaching and projects around my new house. Their shrieks brought back so many good memories, they were sounds of joy (almost music to my ears). Sidebar: Eric and Matt went on to fantastic baseball careers.

Fast Forward to 2011

I coach an 11 year old traveling baseball team. I have a nice crew of boys that play the game well (their defensive statistics rival a major league teams, they throw strikes like a pitching machine and some can hit balls pitched speeds I know I couldn't have ever hit at that age).

But here are a few reasons why kids aren't any good at baseball anymore.

Knowledge: These kids don't know the game. They don't sit around on a rainy day Saturday and watch The Game of the Week on NBC listening to Vin Scully call a game (or even better, the B crew Tony Kubek and Joe Gariogola). Today they watch Sports Center and they know the great players and they know who gets them points on their fantasy team, but they don't understand why a guy would hit a ball to the right side to score a run versus swinging for the fence to get on TV.

Mommy Says: Kids today are very good at being told when to be somewhere, where to be, and how long they have to be there. That's a bad recipe for baseball. In baseball, there is no time limit and no rule on how far to lead off, or how hard to throw it. By age 11, a boy has played for 5 years -- but for the life of me today they don't know if the ball is 45 feet away from the catcher to steal home on a Passed Ball. Why is this? Their coach didn't say so. For the life of me, if a kid is leading off way too far at 1st or 3rd, a kid won't throw down. Why is this? Their coach didn't say so. They don't do these things because they've been programmed to do exactly what authority tells them...and if they don't they get yelled at to conform.

No Instinct: A secondary flaw to the "Mommy Says" reason is kids don't play like I did, or Eric and Matt did as late as the late 1990's. People learn by doing things hands on. Showing up for a practice and learning skills is nice and praises to the thousands of volunteer coaches in America for their time. But you'd be better served coaching kids by dropping them off at the park, hand them a tennis ball and some cheap wood bats, some cheap Target bases and then LEAVE for 2 hours. You'd return to find a kid who understood how to hit a crappy pitch the other way, a kid who knew how fast he was and how much he could get away with, and most important a kid who understands if the punk on the other team is showing you up you just deck him next time.

Other Sport Pressure: One of the biggest problems in Minnesota is the pressure to play Hockey or Basketball year round. Kids and parents are constantly struggling to keep up in the arms race of these two important (longer season) sports. Kids are running from baseball diamonds to hockey rinks, basketball gyms and training facilities....year round. See my blog on Youth Hockey for proof.

Choices/Toys: My 11 year old has access to Internet, he has an iPod touch, Sony Wii, Comcast On Demand, DVR, DVDs, Baseball Cards, a Swimming Pool, and every toy under the Sun. By most standards he's not considered spoiled. Compared to my childhood, he'd be Richie Rich. On top of the toys, his parents have managed to wedge him into 500 other activities. All of these things are all well and fine on their own, but smashed together it can be a mess.

So in summary, kids suck at baseball because we as parents over program, over indulge, and over coach them. The sad fact is there is no easy answer -- other than the fateful crossroads that most parents face - make Johnny specialize in one sport by age 11 so that they can be good/great at something.

My Non Bucket List

2011-04-24T07:48:00.000-05:00

Everyone has a bucket list, I'm creating a Non Bucket List of things I won't do, ever (sports related).

Some by choice, some by sheer physical impossibility, some by financial/prestige impossibility.

Choice:

1. Go to any MLB stadium and cheer for a big market team
2. Go to a PGA tour event and shout, "You the Man!"
3. Argue with an ump during a Kindergarten softball game
4. String together the next three sentences into one. Lets. Go. Red.
5. Beat my chest when my favorite MLB team wins the worst division baseball

Physical:

1. Sky Dive
2. Enter a Hot Dog eating contest
3. Play on a JCC under 6 foot basketball team
4. Run Boston Marathon
5. Pose with David Stern as #1 pick in NBA draft

Financial/Prestige:

1. Play Augusta
2. Move to Edina ;)
3. Throw out the first pitch at Twins game
4. Sit court side next to Jack at a Lakers game (ran out of choice ones)
5. Coach PeeWee football for a living

Besides your obvious loyalties and the dude who reads this that thinks he's the next Prefontaine, do you see yourself doing any of these 15? If so, why?

Z

Barry Sanders or Deion Sanders, which one are you?

2011-04-04T16:03:00.001-05:00

The age old question, do you jump around like a fool and celebrate because it may be your last time scoring or do you act like you've been there before?

Barry Sanders was my favorite football player. Supremely talented, exciting to watch, but most memorable was how he celebrated a TD. He handed the ball to the referee. Deion Sanders was also supremely talented and exciting to watch. However, his celebrations of success were epic. Pretty sure they made rules against celebration because of "Neon" Deion.

Even the most casual sports' fans would know the difference between the two. And most, if asked, would say they are most like Barry. Barry is what everyone aspires to be (talented, classy, and very humble). Deion on the other hand, was a punk. In case your memory has faded, watch what he did to Tim McGarver during a post game celebration for proof (Click Here). He took his amazing gift and flaunted it...flaunting to the point whereby most couldn't stand him and they couldn't wait until he was out of the limelight.

Okay....I'm not breaking new ground here on Barry versus Deion. But my point is simple, we can all spot a great guy pretty quickly and we definitely know a punk in a hurry. But for all the times we help a little old lady across the street, we probably have done a TD dance in a meaningless intramural football game, or worn a jersey that says, "Excuse Me" on the back (i.e. me).

So, next time you see someone celebrate victory, a TD, or a goal and you don't like it. Here are some things to remember:

1. Think about all of your victory celebrations and success... chances are good your opponent saw Deion in you not Barry.

2. Appreciate it. That athlete or team worked their tail/s off, congratulations.

3. If you don't like it or can't possibly appreciate it, stop 'em next time and quit your whining (i.e. work harder).

4. The sports' God's always get even on guys like Deion (or Tiger).

5. Finally, if you act like a clown, you'll be remembered as a clown.

Thank you Barry Sanders for your great example.

MN High School Hockey Tournament -2011 Edition

2011-03-14T14:13:00.001-06:00

As Minnesotans we suffer through hard winters, for several reasons 4 million people seem to stick around. One of those reasons for me is this thing called the State Hockey Tournament. As a youth, my Mom would let me come home from school early to watch the games starting in Kindergarten all the way through high school. From my earliest memories as a child, this tournament has always been very special to a lot of people in this state. Neal Broten, former Gopher Hockey star, Hobey Baker winner, NHL Great, 1980 Olympian, and Stanley Cup winner once said winning the State Tournament would have been more exciting than winning the Olympics (his best finish was 3rd).

To put things in perspective on Saturday night 40 High School kids from Minnesota outdrew every pro and college team in the world (SRO 19,000 fans). And this has been going on for decades here. The tournament always draws over 100,000 people and the games are always very exciting.

The section tournaments to get to state are sometimes even more exciting with a ton of geographic rivals facing off in the section finals for a shot at the tournament. Of the 16 section finals, 5 were decided in overtime (Lakeville North, Duluth East, Eden Prairie, White Bear Lake, and Breck all advanced in miraculous fashion) and 7 were decided by 1 goal.

My personal highlights this year:

* Edina losing (actually didn't see it).

* My nephew David scoring the game winning goal in overtime in both the Section Semifinal game and Section Final to send his team Breck to the Big Dance. Couldn't have happened to a nicer kid.

* Watching a great kid like AJ Reid win a state championship and then win the Herb Brooks Award for being a credit to his school, peers, and community. I'll bet his dad is proud.

* My nephew David during his player introductions on TV, greets my son Jake with a "Happy Birthday Jake, " to which my cell phone goes bonkers!!!

*5 championship round games decided in OT, including all 3 for Duluth East and both Title games.

*My nephew David places #2 on the All Hockey Hair team.....check this video out, it is hilarious. Yeah, he's kind of a big deal.

One more highlight....this one borders on odd:

At the conclusion of each medal ceremony, the High School League hands out the Herb Brooks Award (see above). For the Girls winner, Herb Brooks' daughter presents the award and for the boys his son presents the award. To set the scene, I'm watching the girl's final and Herbie's daughter comes out to present and she's wearing a very revealing red sweater. To which my wife Debi says, "what is SHE wearing?" Two weeks later, Herbie's son shows up to the AA award ceremony in a black leather jacket he must have stolen from one of the Pet Shop Boys...to which I replied, "what is HE wearing?"

I can only conclude that Herbie had those two doing pushups, stairs and "Herbies" their whole life. This is their way of getting back at him, while he sits up in Hockey Heaven.

Congratulations to St. Thomas and Eden Prairie. By all accounts this EP team won a PeeWee State Championship, 2 Bantam State Championships and 2 state Championships. An amazing run.

SunMart Arena

2011-03-01T09:01:00.000-06:00

My son's hockey team had the pleasure of traveling to the Fargo Flyers International hockey tournament in Fargo, ND this past weekend. It was North American youth hockey at it's finest.

Over a thousand kids from all over the place playing their guts out for 4 straight days. On top of the hockey, the kids come equipped with their team pins to exchange at face-off and to trade in between games. On top of the trading the kids enjoy time with their teammates and make new friends from other teams.

Upon arrival home Sunday night, my son Jake says to me, "Dad, I just wish life were like FARGO all the time..." Don't we both young man, don't we both.

As we winded between rinks and games all weekend we happened across one of the most unique rinks I've ever seen. In all my years of hockey I've seen hundreds of rinks. You've seen one, you've seen 'em all. Some are cold (Minnehaha), some are new (Dakota), and some are oozing with tradition (Braemar and Wakota). Some I love (Richfield), some I hate (Bloomington 2), and some are filled with childhood memories (Parade and Augsburg). But for the most part, every hockey rink has 4 similarities: ice that is resurfaced by a zamboni, chilled by underground refrigeration, enclosed by fiberglass boards and plexiglass, and the rink size is usually 200' X 80'.

On Saturday afternoon, my life forever changed when I stepped into SunMart Arena. I knew this rink was special even before we got there -- as we approached the rink somewhere deep in the bowels of the Fargo warehouse district, Jake said to me, "where are you taking us dad?" As if to say, rinks aren't made out of single level warehouses.

After parking 5 blocks from the arena, I finally arrived. As I stepped into this old warehouse, I'm not sure if my first memory will be the smell (imagine outhouse combined with diesel fuel) or the sight of a hockey game played in the dark -- almost as if I was at a back alley dog fight, sans the rif-raf. The lighting and smell were just the beginning. The single sided stands held possibly 125 people comfortably, the rest of the patrons were asked to stand wherever you could find a view. The opposite side of the rink broke all rules of decor....no plexiglass, just some more white fiberglass and an occasional local business sponsorship (I was surprised to find there wasn't a local manure salesmen sponsoring the rink). Not to mention, the rink was 160' X 70' making the neutral zone about the size of a walk-in closet.

I had the pleasure of walking into the rink when it was jam packed (a local team was playing a hated team from the Cities)...which made it seem like I had just walked onto the movie set of Hoosiers. The passion, the excitement and the energy was remarkable. Editor's Note: The team from the Cities won 12-0....sending the local faithful to their cars parked 4 Blocks or less after the second period.

The clincher for me to write this blog had to be my visit to the bathroom....a scary proposition. Before I entered the abiss....it was difficult to decipher Male/Female because whichever 6 year old they let paint the door and the frame decided to paint over the Male/Female sign. Upon arrival to the Men's room I found possibly the worst smell known to man (combine 77 years of non flushed urine with a dash of odor of a minty urinal puck)...you know the kind of smell that forced me to hold it.

As I put the finishing touches on this blog....I'm still not sure if I loved this place or hated it. So I asked Jake if he liked it, to which he replied, "it was awesome -- I just wouldn't want to play there everyday." True that brother, it was the microcosm of our visit last weekend to Fargo -- an awesome experience, but not a place I'd want to live everyday.

Congratulations to the Edina Squirt A team for their impressive run through the tournament (outscoring their opponents some 59-2). Editors Note: Jake does not play for Edina.

It's Tubby Time

2011-02-14T11:07:00.003-06:00

For those that were screaming for Tubby Smith's ouster on Thursday night, this is a "calm down people" Sports Blog.

First and foremost, I was as angry as a fan can get after the Illinois game, but I came to realize that Tubby Smith is a giant upgrade from Clem Haskin. Haskin was greats for the Gopher and Dan Monson was great too - for my season ticket move from the baseline to center court.

But here is why Tubby is the best Gophers' coach (by far) in my short 40 years as a fan.

Good recruiter...he can identify talent (some high profile, some under the radar) and get them to come here and play. In 2 years, he closed off the borders and made Minnesota his home base for recruiting.

Good practice coach.....Tubby is very good at building a team of 7-9 guys that will get after you, get after rebounds..and as a rule his players get better after 4 years in the program. Right now, pretty sure Rodney Williams and Ralph Sampson are breaking this rule....hence his frustration.

Good man...he tells his kids the truth, he helps his kids graduate, he holds kids to higher standards than the NCAA will, and he won't be in trouble with them ever. I'm not saying he's perfect, he just strikes me as a no bull type of guy.

Repeat: by all historical accounts he won't be in trouble with the NCAA, kids won't be in trouble with the law (and stay in the program) and they will win a lot more than they lose. Will he bring us to the promise land of college hoops? Probably not. Has he made the Gophers relevant and much better than even Haskin ever dids? Yes.

So if you read this garbage yesterday by Jim Souhan and you started to second guess Tubby's prowess as a coach, consider this:

Tubby lost the best point guard in the Big Ten to injury and kicked his second best Guard off the team. On top of that, lost a promising big man to injury in December. Leaving him on the island of misfit toys:

Rodney Williams (aka the gun that shoots jelly) - if dunks counted for 10 points he'd lead our team in scoring.

RS III (aka the boat that sinks)- he plays with the same emotion as the Mona Lisa

Colton Iverson (aka the cowboy who rides an ostrich)- we could use him on the gridiron or ice, but he just lacks consistentcy

When and if Al Nolen returns, this is the 2nd best team in the Big Ten. Hopefully they will return to the B10 title game this year and prove it...and prove to the naysayers that Tubby is a great fit for Minnesota.

Oh and Souhan, before you choose Tubby for your weekly bloodbath, please look at the facts:

-Sold out arena

-3 straight NCAA appearances (first time ever for MN)

-Top recruiting classes

-Tough love for players

-Respectability to school and Big Ten

And most important a better product than we've ever had here at the U. Comparing Kentucky basketball's expectations to Minnesota is like comparing Yankees and Twins (did I just say that?).

Z

Who wants it more at your house?

2011-01-27T12:53:00.000-06:00

Note: Youth Hockey in Minnesota is a disease and the author has some of the classic symptoms (dry mouth at the sight of a youth game, nausea at the thought of missing a game, chronic irritable bowel syndrome during a practice or game).

Was at the rink this week and ran into an old sage of a youth hockey coach. This guy has successfully coached in the same system for 20+ years and still enjoys it. If I weren't so wordy, that might be a good blog post in and of itself. While he and I see eye-to-eye on a ton of topics...he and I are two totally different beasts. He is a non-parent volunteer...I'm a hockey dad.

For the record, non-parent volunteers can see the landscape a lot clearer than any hockey dad...no matter how smart the hockey dad thinks he is, he usually only sees things through the lens of his child/children.

So while talking over the many issues related to youth hockey (and youth sports for that matter), the old sage said the magic words (almost like an knife right through my heart), "You know Z, a parent can't want success on the ice more than their kid....it just can't happen, no matter how hard you try."

Me? Wanting my kids success more than they do. No way, that's not me. I deny that all day long...as does just about every parent.

As I prepared for this blog (prep = culling through the refrigerator looking for that lost piece of chocolate cake), I discovered there are 3 types of hockey dads.

1. That Guy - you know the guy who stuffs his kid into every possible sheet of ice, all star team, camp, etc and talks about it 365/24/7...and isn't one bit shy about telling you how great his kid is, what AAA team they play for, etc.....heck some of the That Guys wear the AAA jacket of their kid's team and they don't coach the team...but they are just bursting with pride that Johnny/Jenny plays for these teams.

2. I Don't Care Guy - the guy who does just about the same stuff as "That Guy"-- lotsa hockey, lotsa training, and lotsa talk. The difference between "I Don't Care Guy" and "That Guy" is his kid probably isn't that good (yet)....so he uses the always famous line, "I don't care how good Johnny/Jenny is, just as long as they are having fun...."

3. No Clue Guy - Here is the guy who never played, he's never engaged in the "how good a kid" is conversation...generally doesn't hang out with the other dads...and as a rule their kids aren't that good or their kid doesn't really care how good he is at age 10.

Numbers 1 and 3 add up to about 10 percent of hockey parents...which puts most parents in the "I Don't Care" category (me included).

So as of today and maybe tomorrow...I vow to be more like #3: when I act like I don't care, I will mean it...when the "how good a kid is" conversation appears, I will run faster than Lumpy Rutherford did to a Buffet Line and most important, I'm gonna drop the act that I don't care. I do care if my kid is a good hockey play. Okay I said it.

But from now on...I will remember that the sport is still my son and daughters and I can't want it more than them and be happy.

Joel Maturi's has done it again

2010-12-07T15:01:00.000-06:00

Everybody has made mistakes. Just look at my sweet mullet I wore in HS as evidence. But how can one guy make so many public mistakes and still keep his job.

For the out-of-staters: Joel Maturi is the AD at the University of Minnesota (aka The U...hey Michael Irvin, I'm taking the nickname of my school back, you've been using it for too long). Joel is from Minnesota (Chisholm to be exact) and has been AD here since 2002. Prior to Minnesota he held the same post at Miami of Ohio and the University of Denver. He cut his teeth in Madison, WI as an assistant AD from 1987 to 1996 at the University of Wisconsin. He graduated from Notre Dame. The UW and ND association alone were red flags for me...but once you see this list of facts....his past was nothing compared to the path of destruction he has led us through.

Below is a list of Maturism's we Gopher fans have had to endure since 2002 (and the hiring of Jerry Kill is not one of them....I actually like that choice).

10. "We Are Minnesota" - at his press conference announcing his hire...Joel said he had a "new" cheer that he wanted to bring to Minnesota. One side of the stands would yell "We Are" and the other side would say "Minnesota". I can't make it up. Apparently he had never been to a Penn State game or he had and he just wanted to copy them. Thankfully the cheer never took.

9. "Dan Monson, you're fffff...iiiiiii....fine until next year." In the Spring of 2006, Joel had his marching orders to fire the overmatched Dan Monson as Head Basketball Coach. In fact, he got on a plane to Cincinnati to go dismiss him after their first round NIT loss. Mr. Nice Guy Joel couldn't pull the trigger. Instead, he waited until the following season and did it a few games in to the 2006-2007 campaign (do you see a pattern here?) and then watched the once full Williams Arena sit empty for another long season.

8. "Barry will you coach the Gophers?" True Story. In his many interviews with the press yesterday, Joel told Bob Sansevere (Pioneer Press) that one of the people he offered the job to was Barry Alvarez. Barry has a statue of himself outside of Camp Randall Stadium, has been offered jobs at Miami, and several others in the NFL...and somehow Jamming Joel thought he may want to come here??? That's not the most shameful act of this whole thing (offering). In my opinion admitting that we offered our job to our biggest rival's former coach should be the last straw for his employment at the U.

7. "Don Lucia is my guy." Don Lucia has the easiest job in college sports. He coaches the U's hockey team. Our state produces the most American bread college and pro hockey players. Hockey is to Minnesota what Basketball is to Indiana. He is sitting in the middle of the cabbage patch and can't manage to figure out how to win more than he loses. Last week we were swept by a sub-rival called Minnesota State Mankato. I could have sworn there was rule in the Athletic Department at the U...fail to make NCAA tourney, you're fired. Hopefully, JM can pull the trigger this Spring once The Don fails his (shrinking waiting list only) season ticket holders, again.

6. "Dave Mona" One of The U's biggest supporters is local PR guy Dave Mona. By default, Dave is one of the color commentators for the football team. This obviously made him qualified to help the U pick a new coach. Well, at least that's what Joel thought anyway. On top of hiring Mona, he asked other Athletic Directors who they thought might be good hires. Dude, are you serious? Asking your competition who you should hire is about the same as giving them your playbook. Didn't we hire a PR guy to help manage the new coach selection...huh?

5. "First Lady of Gopher Football" At yesterday's press conference he introduced Jerry Kill's wife, Rebecca, as the First Lady of Gopher Football. Really, Joel....you're an embarrasment.

4. "You're Number 7" In the press conference yesterday he admitted that Jerry Kill wasn't his first choice. What a complete imbecile. Where was the PR guy when we needed him? FYI Joel, don't introduce a guy with a backhanded compliment....much less just a backhand.

3. "I'm not talking" During the recent coaching search....Joel declared he was going to hire a Search Firm and keep the hiring process very private. Joel loves to see himself on TV, hear himself on the radio and see his name in print. Can you blame him? He's from Chisholm where they just got a printing press. In the 51 day search, we heard more Joel quotes than we care to ever hear. Hint: see number 1 for the most damaging.

2. "Cast a wide net" Late in the search, Joel in one of his many media appearances said, "we cast a wide net, and we just kept coming back to Jerry Kill." What he fails to say in this preposterous statement was, "we offered the job to just about everyone else and they wouldn't take it because I was the AD. The net was really wide, but we also ignored the 1,000+ pleas to hire Mike Leach the job because I was born with a vagina..." He goes on but I'm running out of space.

1. "Tubby Hire" On October 17, Joel makes the critical statement about the hire....."we want to make a Tubby Smith type hire....here at Minnesota". He even commits more HR errors than Austin Powers by telling the media how much he's willing to pay!!!!!!! Oops Joel, you forgot to mention the Tubby hire was less of a hire and more of a get out of jail card for Smith at Kentucky. Joel had as much to do with Tubby coming here as I did with the 5 inches of snow we got last Saturday.

As I said earlier in the post, I LIKE THE JERRY KILL HIRE. I just don't think we needed 51 days, 5 to 10 job offers to people who weren't ever going to accept the job, and even worse several "I can't believe this guy still has a job" media appearances by Joel Maturi.

Go Gophers.

3 reasons to cheer against Auburn

2010-11-15T16:12:00.001-06:00

Before I start, what is Auburn anyway? Who names their school after a hair color? Although.......auburn colored hair is similar to Auburn Football - it looks pretty good but you need to spend a ton to maintain it!

Auburn is #2 in the country, they have a fantastic quarterback, some impressive wins, and a legitimate shot at the BCS Championship game. All disturbingly true. However, you don't have to peal back the onion very deep to find reasons to cheer against them the next few weeks.

Reason 1: Watch this video...it serves as a great reminder that college football coaching hires can be very misleading See Video. Wonder if that guy still feels the same today about Gene Chizik...lol?

Reason 2: It will be proven Cam Newton received financial benefit to play at their school. Remember, Cam Newton turned down 6 figure money from Mississippi State to get a "free" education at Auburn (wink, wink). Sorry Cam, this type of "free education" will eventually make you ineligible, which will eventually make you give back the Heisman Trophy and that cool National Championship trophy.

Reason 3: Good teams like LSU, Boise, TCU, Wisconsin, Ohio State and Nebraska won't get a chance to prove they are worthy because Auburn is going to make a run for it despite fully knowing this run will most likely be foiled by the NCAA. Assuming they beat Alabama, Auburn playing in the title game will be about as valid as Milli Vanilli's 1990 Grammy Award.

College football is a great game. Too bad this great season has to be ruined by a school who wants it's day in the sun, despite knowing full well all of it's glory will eventually be taken away.

Go Bama, Go Carolina....we want to see the guy from the video one more time ("Booo Chizik....anyone except Chizik" "5 and 19, booooo")!!!

-Z

How the mighty have fallen in College Football

2010-11-01T12:25:00.002-06:00

I was born in 1967. My college football landscape includes some great moments, memories, and rivalries. On Sunday morning I woke up....and now my football front yard looks like a low budget Edward Scissorhands' project. It's a disaster. Things you could count on (Bobby Bowden grimacing at a wide right or Notre Dame coming from behind for a lucky last minute win) cannot be found anywhere. Here are just a few glimpses of what has become the new College Football:

Texas lost to Baylor at home. My neighbor Jeff T. is on suicide watch (can you imagine cheering for your team in the BCS Title game and then 10 months later watching them lose to Iowa State and Baylor at home in successive weeks?) And, Texas A&M is so bad that the only way the Texas/Texas A&M game makes national TV is if one of the A&M cadets builds a collapsable bonfire.

Miami lost to Virginia. Yes, in football, not Lacrosse or being stuck up.

Florida State fumbled away a win at NC State on Thursday night. NC State use to be a stats game for FSU. What happened here people, what happened?

Michigan continues to tackle like a Big East team (optional in that league) and has lost 3 games. I remember the days when the only game they might lose was Notre Dame or Ohio State. They have sunk (or stunk for that matter) to a new low. Can someone please remind Rich Rodriguez that going 0 for rival gets you fired....even at Minnesota!

But my all time favorite came when Notre Dame, who scheduled Tulsa for what was suppose to be a mercy win, lost in about the worst way a team could lose. First, the fact that Tulsa played them close was a loss on it's own. Then when ND drove to the the Tulsa 18 yard line with :40 left and 1 timeout, they decided to throw a pass (why???????) and yep, you guessed it, picked off, game over. Brian Kelly = Hot Seat.

This is just a short list of Mighties. How about Colorado, Tennessee, USC, Penn State, Georgia, Washington (got beat by 40 by Stanford on Saturday), and UCLA? These teams have no shot of smelling New Year's day much less the Top 25!!!!

Who replaced them is even more depressing...Boise State, TCU, Oregon, Utah, and Wisconsin/Iowa.

Of the 10+ programs I mention, I only see Texas as the one who can get back to prominence fast (see "Texas Saved College Football" blog for why). The one I see farthest away is Colorado (no recruiting base, new large conference, no extra money to spend on a coach). They could make their own conference, call it the "We use to be 12"...They would have full stadiums, a great TV network, some great rivalries already in place. The beauty is one of these slug programs would still have a better shot at a BCS title than Boise or TCU (check back for my next Blog, "Why the non-BCS resembles Negro League Baseball")

No matter what, they have some work to do, or else Wake Forest or SMU might come calling (don't laugh, Boise State was a 1-AA not long ago my friends).

-Z

Gopher Fans....it's 3rd Down!

2010-10-27T16:29:00.001-05:00

The 5 most feared words in sports. Well at least for me it is.

This is usually the play that the opposition makes a devastating play against my beloved alma mater. It's also one of many lame sayings our PA announcer belts out prior to that play (the worst being, "that's another Golden Gopher....First Down!!"). Almost like a bad rash or a sudden case of the mouth throw ups, I hate these 5 words. Note: we play Ohio State this weekend on National TV, they may not face 3rd down until they take a knee in the 4th quarter.

Well Gopher Fans, it's 3rd Down for our football program and really long right now.

Here's why:

The current head coach of the program, Joel Maturi, is about as in touch with college sports as Mr. Drummond was with his new son's Arnold and Willlis on Different Strokes (What you talkin 'bout Willis?)!

Just like being in a 3rd and long situation...Gopher Athletics' needs a lucky play or even better a cheapie pass interference call (see Tubby Smith Hire) to make up for some dismal circumstances. But before we hire the coach, let's make sure our house is clean before we start inviting people over.

1. Radio Crew - please fire Dave Lee, Dave Mona, Darrell Thompson and anyone besides Ray Christensen who has been involved over the last 20 years. Hire a real radio announcer, not a guy who shills bread and funeral chapels every morning and wouldn't know a 5 star recruit from a 5 pound bag of Bushel Barrel Tomatoes. Sorry Darrell and Dave Mona to lump you in, but this is a clear throw the baby out with the bathwater moment.

2. PA Guy - please fire him and get rid of all of his lame "traditions". Just like the radio guy...hire a pro, not a hack. Go to a college game and note what the characteristics of what other schools do well and make up your own, rather than try to copy what everyone else is doing.

3. Game Day Experience - Our in-stadium experience strikes me as "let's try some lame stuff until something works..." Well nothing has worked. It is some of the hokiest attempts at humor and copying of other traditions in one spot you will ever find. Please just one original thought...one, please!!!!!!!!

Most are probably thinking, "hey Z, you wanna fire the radio announcer, the PA guy, and develop some in-game atmosphere at the stadium...aren't you ignoring the white elephant in the room...Joel Maturi?"

Not ignoring that at all, but realistically we have 3 weeks to hire a coach before another program like Michigan, ASU, Maryland, Texas A&M, Colorado, etc gets an itchy trigger finger, fires their coach and hires who we want. So no, we can't fire Mr. Drummond.......yet.

Here is my Realistic Top 5 (provided to you because the local pro-biased, my buddy-biased media has no true insight who is a viable candidate). I'd take any of these guys in a heartbeat:

1. Mike Belotti - The architect behind the current Oregon success..enough said.
2. Gary Patterson - was interested 4 years ago post haste, straight shooter, will never get a chance at BCS Title at TCU (nor will Boise when push comes to shove).
3. Al Golden - Temple head coach, great recruiter, young, defensive minded, Penn State background
4. Dan Mullen - Mississippi State coach, former Florida Coordinator...has MSU back on the map in his second year
5. Troy Calhoun - Air Force head coach, young, has all the tools to be the next best coach in College Football.

Not Realistic Top 3:

Mike Leach - I'd take him, but Mr. Drummond is way too squeaky to hire a guy who has problems with authority...
Jim Harbaugh - LOL, no chance
Chris Peterson - Boise, no chance (he turned down Tennessee)!

Sleepers:

Gary Pinkel - Missouri Coach
Mike Stoops - Arizona Coach
Randy Shannon - Miami Coach

Don't make me swear Top 5:

Dan McCarney
Kevin Sumlin
Paul Chryst
Marc Trestman
Glen Mason

Did I leave any stone un-turned?

The Youth Hockey Conundrum

2010-10-13T13:52:00.000-05:00

This blog entry is directed mostly at my local youth hockey-niks...but if you live in Indiana (insert basketball) or if you live in Hawaii (insert surfing).

So, the other day I'm talking to a buddy who is an active board member at Minnesota Hockey (the governing body of association hockey which is affiliated directly with USA Hockey). As we were agreeing on just about everything that is right and wrong with youth hockey today...he gave me an incredible statistic he just discovered.

MNH surveyed the 2,000 parents whose kids played hockey last year and did not sign up again this year. My gut reaction was the parents would play the "economy" card. Fees for hockey can be close to $1,000 per year in the early years to up to $5,000 or more in years afterward.

Of the hundreds of replies received, only ONE replied that it was too expensive. That's a huge "wow" all by itself...but there's more. The other set of responses were categorized into two even batches:

1. Too Much Time: The first was that the amount of time that was required (3 days week in the early years to just 1-3 days off per month in the later years). The time commitment is huge and the early morning ice is especially painful. Most season's start light in September/October -- and go heavy from November to March (that's 6 months - not counting pre and post season clinics, AAA season, off season dryland and hockey camp).

2. Not Enough: In the early years (5-8 years old) it is common to have hockey on the weekends and once during the week. By 7 or 8, some parents (and presumably some kids, haha) want more than what their local association offers. Because of demand, there are For Profit entities happy to take these parent's money and charge them for 4-5 days a week, intense training, and adult styled games.

The conundrum is this:

Where is the happy medium to attract people to the fastest sport on earth? Is it against the law to want to just play recreationally (i.e. down at the park)? It is also not against the law to play as much as the kid/parent wants.

Commentary:

A heavy, heavy, heavy majority of the people fall in the middle. They want their kid to play hockey, play hockey with their friends, take part in a great (Minnesota) tradition. The problem lies with the people who lose this perspective...their agenda is to get their kid ahead of the pack at all cost even at the expense of friendships (including their neighbors). These people will move their families to the right zip code to get their kid on the right team, they will travel 2,000 miles to play in a game not as good as one in their own backyard....doing all of this with people they barely know and live nowhere near. All in the quest to get ahead or to say "Billy played in the Edmonton last Summer for the Pink Lady AAA Super Select Elite Ass Kickers!"

Herb Brooks said it best to his 1980 Olympic team, "...you were born to be a player, you were meant to be here..." If your kid was meant to be a player, let him play. But if your kid doesn't want to go to hockey on July 11th because it's 80 degrees and sunny and he'd rather climb a tree, then take a look in the mirror and remember whose sport it is and let him climb the tree.

The highs and lows of coaching youth football

2010-09-28T11:26:00.000-05:00

The Highs: teaching kids to love a game (any game not just football), running plays with success that you practice over and over, celebrating when you win, teaching when you lose, watching kids learn to block and tackle, pre-playoff parties, winning close games, losing close games, post season parties....but the biggest high is when all of your kids show up the next season to play again because you, the other coaches and parents were responsible for those kids having a great experience.

The Lows: playing a team from Prior Lake that yelled at their kids any time they gave up +5 yards, yelled at the refs for every penalty under the sun "holding" "pass interference" "movement" "horse collar" "block in the back"...but the low hit rock bottom when they tried the "wrong ball" trick play (snuffed) and the wide receiver from the sideline trick play (you know, where the kid lines up 1" from the sidelines next to his whole team and then runs a fly pattern...nice one)... by the end of the game I felt sorry for them.

Commentary: You only have 60-90 minutes of practice, spend it teaching kids how to block and tackle, teach them how to execute 10 simple plays (dive, off tackle, sweep, counter, reverse, and some forms of misdirection)....spending it on the Wrong Ball play so you can go up to your buddy at the water cooler and brag how you fleeced a bunch of 10 year olds on an illegal play is about as cool as a fanny pack or even worse socks and sandals!

Editor's Note: 0-0 tie (had 2 TD's called back...not one word out of my mouth except "who was it on").

Dear Joel

2010-09-13T11:34:00.002-05:00

An open letter to University of Minnesota Athletics Director, Joel Maturi.

Dear Joel:

No offense to J Robinson...but the only thing we are good at is Wrestling....and I hate Wrestling. For that matter, I hate Indoor Track, Cross Country, Women's Soccer, Gymnastics, and Swimming (and anything else that is not televised and costs the AD money). You know why they aren't televised? Because nobody cares.

It's time to make some hard decisions within the AD. Here a few tough decisions that need to be made:

1. New Football Coach - start the planning now
2. New Football Coach - start the planning now (in case you missed #1 I put it as number 2)
3. New Hockey Coach - see above
4. Remove 8 sports from the payroll (Texas has 18, we have 25...why? Because they are good at those sports).
5. Focus on Football - in case you missed it, Nebraska is joining the B10 (and we play them every year) - they have an 85K seat FB stadium that is filled every Saturday. Have you been to Nebraska before? If you haven't, you haven't missed much, except on Saturday's in the Fall. Read between the lines Joel, FB pays the bills.

When you kill the other sports...just plug your ears. The whining will eventually stop from all 117 who care about the Men's Tennis and the Spirit Squads.

I'm sorry but, the "Hey, we are in the B10, this is awesome we don't have to lift a finger because the bowls and the BTN pay for everything!" attitude just sucks.

We need proven coaches, with proven winning experience here ASAP (Harbaugh/Golden = winner, Blais, or any Serratorre = winner)...and if you have to make a difficult decision or two to get that done, then get to it.

Or we'll find someone who can.

Sincerely,

Tony Zosel

Biggest Jerk in Sports?

2010-08-23T16:47:00.003-05:00

Okay, this one has been brewing for a long time. It just seems lately that the jerks are greatly outweighing the dudes. First of all, the number one rule in "Journalism" is if it bleeds it reads (i.e. the worse the news the better).

However, a good guy like Tom Lehman raising nearly 1 million dollars for Cancer Research is still front page to me (sorry, Lehman is just a good guy). Or athletes, associations, friends of friends going out of their way to help a buddy of mine's son who recently passed is front page. But no, those guys never get the pub, the jerks are so bad these days that the good guys are getting squeezed.

Here's a list of some, please add to it:

1. Lebron James. That one is a layup (sorry bad pun). Here's a quote a buddy of mine sent me from the guy playing on Dwayne Wade's Miami Heat, "I love our fans. Cleveland fans are awesome," he told GQ. "But I mean, even my family gets spoiled at times watching me doing things that I do, on and off the court."

2. Tiger Woods. This one was a gimme (sticking with the bad sports puns). He hasn't won since High School Musical 3 came out and now he's picking on reporters (probably picking them up, too). Recently at the PGA, a reporter described him as playing poorly prior to his question. Tiger's response, "I'm playing poorly, but I'd still kick your butt." That's great Eldrick you can now beat the golf writer for San Jose Mercury in a $5 Nassau. Maybe you can save that money and get a new coach, one that will actually inform you that you didn't win a major this year.

3. Brett Favre. Sorry no FB analogy here. I'm a Viking fan and I hope to cheer them to the Super Bowl, but c'mon enough with the drama. 1% of me hopes the year is a disaster to really show us what a jerk he is....and the other 99 wants to go to the Super Bowl.

4. Lane Kiffin. To single out one Division 1 football coach is difficult. Each has an ego the size of Serena Williams' booty, but this guy is unbelievable. It just seems wherever this guy goes, people end up hating him within a year. I doubt if he lasts more than 3 at USC. And to think I wanted him at the U.

5. Donald Fehr. It seems I can't write a post without bashing either him, Scott Boras or Hank Steinbrenner. Sorry Donnie, its your turn you filthy piece of Favre.

Texas saves college football

2010-06-15T12:33:00.002-05:00

I'm still not perfectly clear on what just happened to the college football landscape, other than I know that Texas just made a lot of schools really happy, including themselves. But here's what I'm hearing so far but am still a little unclear:

1. Texas can and will build their own TV network and doesn't have to share a penny of it with anyone?

2. Texas will receive 25% of the Big 12 TV package, the other 9 schools share the other 75%...this one can't be right...can it?

3. The Big 12 is now the Big 10 because they can't afford to add any other school because Texas will bolt because their 25% will be smaller....right?

If the above is true..the conference should be re-named Texas and it's 9 Bitches - T9 for short (sorry, profanity necessary here to drive home the point)....or Texas Hold'em (cuz Texas is holdin' all the cards here baby).

I do realize that without this deal, the Big 12 goes away. If there is no more movement, how stupid does Missouri look..they basically begged their way into the Big 10 and lost?!!!!!! What most don't realize is these moves were done with eyeballs and fan loyalty on the line, not boundaries, tradition, rivalry or much less common sense. Nebraska has a rabid national fan base for football (Jim Delaney, B10 commissioner likes that)...Missouri, Iowa State, Pittsburgh fit the Big 10 (natural rivals in conference, proximity, tradition and great academics)...sorry, your football tradition doesn't attract the type of person who would demand BTN from their cable company like an NU fan. Bottom line, that's all that matters to JD. Heck, if Fairbanks Roofing, Siding, and Construction College in Alaska had what Nebraska has JD would snap 'em up in a hurry.

Teams Happiest:

Texas, Notre Dame (they can stay status quo without being forced into the Big Ten) Kansas (top 5 BB program spared)

Teams Happy:

Kansas State & Iowa State(these schools had nothing to offer and a ton to lose)

Team Happy this is over:

Texas Tech (some say they were in a Texas package some say they weren't...OMG I can't imagine the sweatin' their fan base was doing).

Teams Indifferent:

OK, OKSU, and Texas A&M (most likely would have gone east or west with Texas)

Teams looking foolish:

Missouri, B12 Commissioner's office

Don't do this or I'll write a blog about you

2010-06-11T13:05:00.003-05:00

In the past week or so, I've noticed some juicy instances of bad behavior in the sports world.

1. Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup, Philadelphia Flyer fans boo as they hoist it. Really, Philly, are you that bitter?

2. Jake's baseball team is playing Cottage Grove last weekend (btw, is anyone from Cottage Grove, MN?)...the whole game their team is imitating a girls softball team with cheerleading like cheers. With the game out of reach (in their favor) a kid hits a nice gapper for a double knocking in a few more meaningless runs. The cheer this time was a drumroll sounding noise from one kid followed by the whole team shouting, "oh, myyyyyyyyy!" I need to remind the readers their coach was 6 feet away fully capable of putting a sock in it.

3. Brian Ching, a well establish Striker in the US was the last player cut from the US National World Cup team was greeted by opposing LA Galaxy fans "US Reject". That's a new one, thanks LA for entering the "we wanna be like Philly" contest.

4. Watching the Fullerton Regional in the NCAAs this past week..the home Team CSF flipping bat after bat in celebration of their home runs. CSF Baseball just made my "list" of teams to cheer against (see Notre Dame football, UND Hockey, Duke basketball, etc).

Youth Sports Coaching Quandary

2010-05-20T09:25:00.003-05:00

Set the scene: I coach my son's 10 year old traveling baseball team (traveling is code for competitive). Last weekend I faced both sides of the coaching quandary in less than a 24 hour span. What is the coaching quandary, you say? It's the fine line between "having fun" and "win at all costs". Every youth coach faces it at least once a season. In my case, I saw both sides in a very short span.

Scene 1: We're playing a completely overmatched Eden Prairie team (man, the 4 words overmatched, eden, prairie and team sound so nice together by the way) last Friday. Prior to the game, the other team's coach is giving a speech to the kids about having "fun" (which is code in sports for make sure you smile when you get beat), blah, blah, blah.

Scene 2: Next day we are playing an undefeated team from Minneapolis (note: our Bloomington team is .500). These guys are hitting our best pitcher all over the park, they are running the bases with reckless abandon, delayed double steals, etc all with a comfortable 10 run lead. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

So which is it? Do you preach "let's have fun" or do you preach "beat them until they bleed"? Obviously it is somewhere in between. As a coach in scene 1, we did everything in our power to make the game enjoyable for our kids as well as theirs without running roughshod over them. In scene 2, we did everything in our power to tell the kids.."the best way to stop that play is to defend it" and maintain your dignity while the other team is rubbing your face in it. Plain as day the other team whipped us, we gotta get better.

You guys got any food for thought?

My new favorite team

2010-05-13T10:44:00.003-05:00

Montreal Canadiens....holy smokes they beat the Caps, now they beat the Pens. I'm sure they are scratching their names on Lord Stanley as we speak in Montreal.

I can just hear some scratchy voiced rube on Montreal sports talk radio (insert Jacque Lemaire voice)...itz onlee a maddir of time beefore we win anudder one....geux habs!

I'm heartbroken on the Pens defeat...was cheering for Gologoski and Leopold, but still holding a grudge against Sid for the Olympics.

What's left:

San Jose: Nope (nice team....they have 2 too many ex Badgers to like them)

Chicago: Nope (I still see Al Secord when I see that sweater)

Philly & Philly : Nope (no reason, their teams just don't have that star)

Normally I don't cheer for the Frogs, but if you beat the 2 best teams in the East you deserve a little love.

What Happened to the Baltimore Orioles?

2010-04-27T08:44:00.003-05:00

Pitching, Defense and the 3 run homer...that was the theme for the Baltimore Orioles of the 70's and 80's. A gritty team that always found its way into the thick of it every year. Then in 1992, they built the first of many great ballparks in America (Camden Yards) and had some more success through the 90's.

To me the Orioles were a team you wanted to cheer for:

They played in a town sandwiched in between DC & Philly (and to a lesser degree NYC) and for the longest time only had the Orioles to cheer for.

Their packaging was always really good (good uniforms, nice stadium, great fan base, players you wanted to cheer for...Brooks Robinson, Ken Singleton, Jim Palmer, Cal Ripken, and Eddie Murray).

They played in the AL East vs. the Yankees and Red Sox and always seemed to compete. From 1967 to 1986 they never had a losing record (as a Twins fan in that era I believe I saw 4 winning seasons).

Their fans are remarkable. I've been to 4 O's games and I left each of them shaking my head at how good their fans are. On one occasion they gave Ken Griffey, Jr. a standing ovation (he hit 3 dingers, and while rounding third on the last one the fans stood to applaud the effort).

The O's haven't made the playoffs since Clinton was in office (and they have as much chance of making them this year as a Clinton making the oval office ever again).

Are there other Baltimore Orioles out there (don't confuse the O's with a dynasty, I'd say they were just a consistent winner for a long time and now have fallen on hard times)?

If so, I'd love to hear them.

Retraction

2010-03-15T09:10:00.002-06:00

I retract any and all remarks I made about the Gopher BB team in my last post. They manned up and won games they weren't supposed to. Go Gophers, beat Xavier.

Let me be the first to reiterate...."Fire Don Lucia." His time has come. Repeat, our team should never be on the road in the first round of the WCHA playoffs, ever. We've been on the road 2 of the last 3 years.

Jake Zosel turns 10

2010-03-09T08:44:00.002-06:00

My son Jake turns 10 today. Thought I'd write out a quick list of his top 10 sports/athletic moments:

10. Shooting hoops on the mini hoop at 18 months (every night after work)....Dad made him a little 3 point line. By age 2 he had mastered the crowd noise (haaaaaaaaaaaa).

9. Swimming lessons at Foss/Chanhassen. Most times Jake couldn't resist that warm pool. With no formal training Jake would just run and jump in, forcing Dad to frantically jump in after him.

8. Swimming at LTF at a very young age, Dad gets Jake dressed first (as any good parent would do) and then proceeds to "run away" from Dad (while Dad hastily getting dressed) into the health club all alone!!!!!

7. After an entire Summer of trying, Jake finally hits the wiffle ball over the Brown Monsta in our back yard at age 3.

6. Jake plays on his first hockey team at age 4...he falls asleep on the way to the rink every time.

5. As a kindergartner, Jake plays on a 1st and 2nd grade baseball team that goes to the City Championship at Kent Hrbek Field.

4. 2 year later, despite losing big in the City Championship Game, Jake hits a loooooooooooooooong home run ball...if it weren't for the fence that ball still might be rolling.

3. Jake scores the winning goal in the final game of the Bloomington Jamboree versus Kennedy.

2. The only 9 year old selected to the August Classic Baseball team, Jake's team wins 1st place!

1. Jake has 3 long TD catches in one half versus the other undefeated team en route to a 37-0 victory.

Winter Musings

2010-02-18T11:40:00.003-06:00

For those of you who ever followed Sid Hartman's column, my Winter Musings is my attempt at his Jottings.

1. Winter Ice: This has been the greatest outdoor ice season in my memory. Granted, we've had a couple 3 day cold snaps and a few major snow dumpings...but for the most part since mid December its been in the 20's with very low wind. Nothing better than skating outside. The sounds, the smells, the runny noses, the cold toes, the rosey cheeks, the wet gloves...man nothing better. For my friends in warmer climates...eat your hearts out.

2. Pennant Fever: Somebody throw me into a snowbank, I got Pennant Fever. Pitchers and Catchers report...the Twins have live arms, 2 MVP's, and a great supporting cast to a decent team from last year. If the Twins win the Central....this is their year to put up a fight in the ALDS. No more Bye Week for the Yankees, Red Sox, or Angels.

3. Carrot Top: Since when did Carrot Top become such a great Snow Boarder? He's a much better athlete than comedian.

4a. Gophers: Can the Gopher sports programs get any lower. Going into this Fall, we had a new stadium for football, a returning NCAA basketball team that had 10 returning players and a top 10 recruiting class. Can you spell NIT? Oops, I'm sure most of you can...but not so sure about Al Nolen. Hockey? See 4b.

4b. Will a first round loss in the WCHA playoffs cost Don Lucia his job? IT BETTER. No matter the excuse....a state dripping with NHL prospects, NHL alums, National Championships should never be on the road for the WCHA playoffs.

5. Which American hockey team will show up during the Olympics? The Nagano troublemaking/ whiners? The Lake Placid Miracles? Or the WE'RENOTTHATGOODABRONZEWOULDBEAWESOME's?

6. Favorite Winter Olympic Sport: Ski Jumping. Has anyone ever seen that jump over near Hyland in Bloomington? Just looking at that thing loosens my bowel!

7. Derby: Only 71 days until the Kentucky Derby.

8. Golf: Approximately 70 days until I make my first double bogey!

9. Tiger Rant: Speaking of double bogeys, does anyone really care what Tiger Woods is going to say on Friday? Really, Tiger? The last thing "the people" want to see is a contrived press conference where you control the questions. All they want to see is your facial reconstruction, after that they will probably have the TV set to MUTE and wait for the sound bite. Sorry dude, that's how it works. No one really cares about you and your "situation". And one more thing, if you say you're playing in the Masters this year....I'll be sure not to laugh. No one in the world expected you to miss the Masters.

10. Peyton: Hey Peyton Manning -- I could care less if you shake hands with the other team 25 minutes after you threw the most famous Super Bowl PICK 6 since Willie Brown housed one on the Vikes in Super Bowl XI. If it were NFL protocol or tradition to shake hands after the game (ala the NHL), then sure you're a baby. But the NFL doesn't do that, so you have nothing to apologize for. This country apologizes way too much.

Sorry if this blog was too short (or too long). Sorry if it offended you. Sorry if I made fun of someone. Sorry if, Sorry if, Sorry if, Sorry if....

What Happened to the Dynasty?

2010-01-20T10:24:00.003-06:00

My sports personality was formed in the 70's and 80's. Those two decades will be remembered for bad uniforms and really good teams. Here are just a few:

Hockey: Canadiens (76-79), Islanders (80-84) and Oilers (84-90)

Football: Cowboys, Steelers, and Niners

Baseball: The Big Red Machine

Pro Hoops: Lakers and Celtics

College Hoops: UCLA

College FB: N/A

Since 1990, the only dynasty that comes to mind are the Chicago Bulls and Tiger Woods.

Here's my theory why:

GREED (and Boredom)

No Coaches: Bear Bryant coached Alabama for like 30 years and he won National Championships galore. He was probably the richest guy (and most well known) in the whole state of Alabama. Do you think $8 million a year and being beloved by the state of Alabama will keep Nick Saban at Alabama? Doubt it. Eventually winning a couple national championships won't be enough and he'll move onto a higher paying higher profile pro job.....no dynasty for the Tide.

No Players: If a team wins a ton of games and a championship, even if they are the NYY, they still won't have the cash to keep all of their talent. The way professional sports leagues are set up with salary caps and free agency it is nearly impossible to assemble a dynasty. The Edmonton Oilers had assembled the greatest string of players, won championships with ease....one small problem, Peter Pocklington (the Oilers owner) went bankrupt in doing so. So what did he do? He sold his great asset to the LA Kings....Wayne Gretzky to save his own ____.

No Administration: Don't just blame the players and coaches. If you assemble a great team whether it be a great college or pro team, you will be in demand. If you are a pro sports GM and your team wins, you then get greedy and want to be president of the team (see Andy McPhail), which means you don't do anything except start every sentence with, "when I was in _______", and no one argues with you. Shoot sign me up for that job.

Potential Dynasties: The NYY have a legit shot...they have the players, the pitching, a pretty solid manager, and decent admin. The Lakers do to...great player (Kobe), great coach (Phil Jackson) and a respectable GM (Kupchak).

Renewed Dynasty: Some of the greatest men in history have fallen prey to the sword of a woman. Funny how he had it all: talent, administration (the best advisors in the world), coaching, passion, etc.....his greed was just shown in a different light. A recovered Tiger Woods will be scary. I can't wait see what he does now that he has been humbled....he may best Jack's 18 Majors faster than anyone would have ever predicted.

False Dynasties: 'bama....no chance (see above), Pittsburgh Penguins (no money to sustain see Oilers), NFL.....impossible, College Hoops.....impossible.

Am I missing anyone, any team? Or am I just missing it?

Editors Note (yeah, I'm big time now I have a guy who reads it before it goes out): Jimmie Johnson - NASCAR, Pete Sampras and Roger Federer - Tennis, and NYY in the mid 90's would all qualify (man, I hate the Yankees).

Bob Schnelker would've been proud

2009-10-19T12:11:00.003-05:00

As most know, one of my passions is coaching youth sports, and my favorite sport to coach is Football. This year the Bloomington Association that my son Jake plays in had a draft (instead of a blind draw). Apparently they thought this would make things more fair. Why? Because the good coaches know the good athletes, the bad coaches don't know them or don't care.

At the conclusion of this year's draft, I walked out with '85 Bears, except my QB doesn't say a word. Our team cruised through the first half of the season 6-0 (winning by an average score of 40+ to zero)....allowing only 1 TD.

(this is where the story gets interesting) In game 7, my Walter Payton/Mike Singletary comes down with H1N1. Despite him out, we are leading 16-12 with 2:30 left in the game. I just need to get 1 first down and its over. The other team is crowding the line big time, so I decide to throw a bomb to Willie Gault (aka Jake Zosel) and end it right there. My QB fakes the dive, but the RB runs into him as he's throwing. Pass picked off, they take it to the house, we lose 18-16. 6-1....kids crying, the other team celebrates like 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team on Red Bull.

Fast Forward...we get Payton/Singletary back and run the table to the Championship yesterday. And we play the team that "beat" us.

At no point in my coaching career have I run such a Vanilla offense in my life as I did yesterday...as the title of the blog states it would have made Bob Schnelker blush (former Vikes OC who was under constant scrutiny for bad/conservative play calling).

We threw the ball 2 times (normally we air it out 12-15 times). We ran 4 different plays (no misdirection, no reverses, no hook and ladders, no double passes, no waggles, no spread, no wildcat, no pistol) and won in workman like fashion 34-7. While calling plays, I felt like Steve Sax on a grounder to second, every time I had the down-out-and up called, I'd see that kid takin' it to the house in the previous game and I couldn't spit it out. Instead it was Dive, Sweep, Dive, Crossbuck....touchdown. Dive, Sweep, Dive, Crossbuck....touchdown.

So the next time you're watching a game and your team's Offensive Coordinator/Head Coach stays conservative....cut him some slack. I now know what's in their head....and it ain't pretty.

Yankees/Twins

2009-10-08T09:41:00.003-05:00

"...then David reached back and threw the stone and hit the Philistene in the head, knocking him to the ground..."

Here is why this would be the greatest upset in MN Sports History (this is Hickory vs. South Bend Central all over again):

Payroll NYY: $207 Million (down from 209 from 2008)

Payroll MN: $65 Million (up from 56 from 2008)

Opening Game Starter NYY: CC Sabathia (Perennial Cy Young Candidate)

Opening Game Starter MN: Brian Duensing (nothing needs to be said here)

NYY out because of injury: N/A

MN Twins out because injury: Justin Morneau (All Star/MVP), Joe Crede (Former All Star) Kevin Slowey (All Star), and Glen Perkins (#3 starter)

NYY DH: Hideki Matsui

MN Twins DH: Brendan Harris (yes, a backup infielder is hitting DH!!!!!)

They always say defense wins championships. The Twins could put 14 guys out there the rest of the way and it won't matter, we don't have the bats or the arms to compete outside of the laughable AL Central.

I guess winning "Division" Titles versus teams with slightly higher payrolls - Kansas City (70 Mil), Cleveland (85 Mil -- jettisoned a lot of it mid-season), Chicago (96 Mil) and Detroit (113 Mil) - will have to do.

I can just hear Gardy (Coach Dale) saying "my team is on the floor..." after crew chief Tim Tschida comes over with the lineup card and says "Brendan Harris (aka Buddy) at DH???Really?!!!!"

Go Twins (Hickory)

Musings from MN

2009-10-06T08:26:00.003-05:00

Needless to say this is one of the crazier weeks in MN sports history. Here are a few thoughts from my perspective on the week that was and hopefully will be...

Last Wednesday the Twins lost Game 3 (0f 4) to the Tigers in Detroit going 3 games back with 4 to go. Without any Major League pitchers (okay, Joe Nathan is Major League), without a guy named Justin Morneau, and the Tigers at home for these last 4, most (including myself) were saying GAME OVER. I was wrong (first time for everything). At this point the rest is history: the Twins win game 4 to inch to within 2 with 3 to go, the Whitey Tidies beat the Tigers 2 out of 3 and the Twins sweep the Omaha Royals to force a game today for the right to play my least favorite team NYY (David and Goliath blog forthcoming).

On Saturday, my favorite team lost to my least favorite team in spirit crushing college football fashion. Next Topic.

Sunday afternoon was the icing on the cake for today's 1 and done playoff with the Tigers.

Add all of this to the circus that was last night at Mall of America Field (what the heck is that anyway?). So while watching my favorite NFL team beat up my least favorite NFL team I check my Facebook account. The swirl of Viking chatter amazes me...this town loves it's Purple. But then I read a tweet by a woman "friend" from Madison....she writes "I wish that ESPN and Brett Favre would just get a room." That's when it hit me (and hopefully her too), that for 16 years we (Vikes Fans) nearly lost our lunch every time the guy completed a pass and the announcers would gush. The ESPN guys were actually doing a pretty good job last night considering the circumstances (Mike Tirico amusingly called it a circus at least 2 times). Until they (Jon Gruden specifically) started talking about how many great throws he had made in practice in years gone by (really?!!! practice, do we really care how he threw a ball in practice 10 years ago....really???). So they show this "never been released" footage of Brett Favre throwing passes in practice in his GB days. Yes, they showed him throw at least ten 40-50 yard passes in practice....probably the worst sports broadcasting moment since the Natalie Gulbis show aired on the Golf Channel in 2007.

All in all, a fun few days up in here in Minny....and we haven't even dropped a puck yet (professionally anyway, my 9 year old has been going strong since August 25)!

If all goes well, another Fave team will be playing my least Fave this week.

Go Twins.

College Football 2009 - Big Style

2009-08-31T14:52:00.005-05:00

From the sounds of it, the NCAA has cancelled this year's college football season and has already crowned Florida the National Champions. It's too bad because there were going to be some great stories here in Big Ten country:

1. A once proud program will rise from the ashes in its new stadium.

2. A flash in the pan program will show its weak under belly and fire its young, troubled head coach after he dismantled the program in 3 short years.

3. The Rose Bowl will have a visitor it hasn't had in nearly 50 years.

4. Biggest Disappointment in B10 country may be those wanting tickets....this will be a great season, lots of great games, lots of great players about to be household names.

5. A once proud team with a unique helmet will fail the bowl eligibility exam again this year

6. Indiana is terrible

7. There will be 3 coaches dismissed this year (one before the season ends)...one is cheesy , one is sleazy and one is easy.

8. A lowly recruited WR from Cold Spring, MN will be invited to NYC in early December

9. Coach of the year will be that little Irish guy in Chicago...

Sorry can't think of a tenth.

I love college football.

Go Gophs, beat Syracuse.

Optimistic Prediction for the Gophers (8-4) Realistic Prediction for Gophers (6-6, 3-5)

Hope Sellers

2009-05-29T15:27:00.003-05:00

I go off the professional or semi-professional route and take a stab at something new: Hope Sellers.

Ever walk into a youth sports venue lately and notice the hope that is being sold to parents? In the past two years I have coached several youth sports teams. But, as each day goes by each kid gets more and more specialized. Today I will tackle two of the culprits of kids specializing in sports at a very young age.

Before I take some well deserved shots at some of the culprits...I need to tell a story of a neighbor boy, let's call him Sue (one of my favorite Johnny Cash Songs). Sue is by far the most talented kid his age in just about every sport he's ever played: Hockey, Baseball, (I heard he was awesome at) Soccer, Horseshoes, Lawn Darts, and Bowling (yes, bowling I saw him fire a clean strike at a 7 year old birthday party.) As they say on TV, Sue is a natural (hand/eye, speed, agility, etc). Heck, he's even got good blood lines (kinda like a race horse).

Sue has yet to live a full decade of life and his Dad (culprit #1) told me this is his last year of baseball (poor kid hasn't even seen or thrown a curve ball yet and he's getting the hook). In sadness, our neighborhood 9 just lost one of, if not it's best player. Why would he pull him out of baseball at such a young age? Hockey dads know where this is going already.....Sue is going to start playing hockey year-round. You guessed it, 9 years old and his sports world is now down to 1.....Wow.

Is this all Dad's fault? Mostly. But, there are other culprits....let's call them secondaries. The first one is this new cottage industry of Hope Sellers. People selling parents the hope that their kid is going to play such-and-such sport at the highest level. One such organization, Minnesota Made in Edina, MN, tells parents that players aren't born they are made!!!!

Hmmmmmm....if they told the truth, "Johnny sucks, save your money!" , I'm sure they'd go out of business. So, instead, they ignore the obvious fact that a kid like Sue with or without training and dedication is going to go far, but a kid like Johnny will not. Why? Johnny sucks and Sue is the bomb.

End of Story.

Why do I write this? It all went down over the past month on the baseball diamond.

Over the years, I've coached several baseball teams, taught numerous clinics, and worked the John Anderson (U of MN) baseball camp in college. One night at practice while doing drills with my pitchers, a kid says to me, "Coach, my Pitching Coach tells me......." I really don't remember how the sentence ended because I fainted on the spot. After I was revived, I awoke to another boy telling me...."his pitching coach says he should......" instead of fainting this time, I spoke up. Boys, if your pitching coach is so great, then why isn't he out here today coaching you? The smarter of the two boys raises his hand and says, "cuz you don't get paid and he does...". To that I replied, "Ahaaaaaaa" (sort of like the Jewish Eddie Murphy in Coming to America)!!!!!!!!!' " The kids didn't get my Aha. But I did. My point: That guy is trying to make a buck...plain and simple. So he'll tell any parent, any kid that he's good as long as he's writing a check out to Hope Seller, Inc. Sorry to go nostalgic here, but what happened to practicing what you learned from your well qualified coach with your dad, mom, brother, neighbor, etc? Today, dad just dumps the kid off and writes some washed up ex-pro a check and calls it a day. When I was growing up I had some great non-parent coach role models (Wizzy Wyatt, Al Frost, Quincy Brown). These guys taught us the game, we went home and practiced it with whomever and we said thank you when the season was over. Over the last two years I have watched way too many kids go the route of Sue at way too early of an age.

Please, do your kids a favor. Instead of making them play just one sport....make them play one more sport. Heck, they may even enjoy it.

Rant over.

The Day the Music Died

2009-04-06T19:22:00.002-05:00

Just so you guys know, today is the one day a year that the Kansas City Royals, Pittsburgh Pirates, and Washington Nationals all think that they stand a chance to win their division.

Royals Fan: Yeah Gil Meche is going to win 27 games and lead us back to the promise land!

Pirates Fan: Whathisname (can't even name one Pittsburgh Pirate Player right now) is going to really break out this year, and more than 10,000 fans will show up for a playoff game, and maybe some of Steeler Nation will care.

Nats Fan: This is the year Walter Johnson comes back to life and mows through the National League East.

Yes, baseball fans, its an annual ritual for the bottom feading, bad drafting, bad free agent signing teams to dream. They scream, "this is our year!" on Opening Day. And then by May 10 they're looking at who they like in the Preakness. Heck, Pirates fans might be skipping this weekend's home stand all together just to watch the Masters. Will Tiger win it?

Aaaaaaaaaaah Baseball is finally here....would someone please throw me the remote, the Yankees and Red Sox are on ESPN, I need to turn the Channel to something else.

Rochester Lourdes' Uniforms

2009-03-13T09:23:00.002-06:00

An open letter to the Athletic Director at Rochester Lourdes High School in Rochester, MN:

Dear Sir (or maybe Madam):

I was watching the State High School Hockey Tournament on Wednesday night and could not help but notice the uniforms your team showed up with:

Purple and Gold, nice touch.

3 line stripe theme along the bottom and sleeve, nice touch

Eagle on the chest, nice touch

Here's where the uni takes a major left turn:

Above the stripes you have a Crown and Flame theme going on...not sure there, but it gets worse.

Below the stripe in White is "Lourdes" in block style type, you're losing me here

With all of this purple and yellow and crowns, and eagles the team tops off the color confusion with Royal blue breezers (for my friends outside of MN and still reading this, which is probably no one, a breezer is the padded shorts thing hockey players wear)!

And to top it off, the squad was sporting White helmets!!

In summary: purple, yellow, eagle, royal blue, crowns and flames, and "Lourdes" on the front. I did a search for a picture to re-live my nightmare and thankfully nothing is published within the first 3 pages of a google search.

Here's a suggestion: Purple Helmets, Purple Breezers and go old school with the Eagles (or Lourdes) plus player # on the front. Of course add the string tie-up on the collar. The Purple Helmet and Purple Breezer makes your White uni much better as well.

Better luck on next year's edition....its safe to say that they won't last past this year's tournament.

With Regards,

Tony Zosel

Sergeant

Uniform Police

Baseball's Axis of Evil

2009-02-23T15:57:00.003-06:00

Pitchers and Catchers reporting to Spring Training gets me thinking about the ice rinks melting, dirty windshields, and roads filled with sand and potholes (i.e. the good life in MN). As I sit here 3 days from March, the rinks are no where near melted, there is still snow on the roads and the windshield is as clean as a whistle thanks to the 15-20 degree temperature.

If you think that is a downer, imagine being the GM of the MN Twins (Billy Smith). Everyday you gotta wake up and deal with the Axis of Evil in MLB: Scott Boras (this guy would make Huggy Bear ashamed), Hank Steinbrenner (author of the soon to be best seller, "How I ruined the Yankees") and Donald Fehr (this guy is pictured in Webster's under Extortion).

Boras: The well known agent who gets under performing free agents $20 million contracts from Baby Hank (almost as hard to do as getting Adam Sandler $20 million after he did Billy Madison, but somehow he does it).

Baby Hank: Pockets so deep that sometimes he trips over them on his way to the Yacht auction. He signs players because they did well on his fantasy team. He must be a Knicks season ticket holder, too.

Donald Fehr: I'm still trying to figure out who this guy is helping...is it the players? If so, I'm happy for the 500 or so guys that are sitting on the best lottery ticket of all time. He definitely doesn't have the fans best interest or Billy Smith's for that matter. As long as MLB doesn't have a salary cap, the sport isn't a sport. Rich teams buy titles. Little teams manage to stay afloat. See Haves and Have Nots blog for an education on the disparity in MLB.

I had the chance to meet Billy Smith recently. I asked him who he dislikes the most of the 3. His answer was honest but predictable: Boras is doing job (and he does it well). Fehr is doing his job (and he does it well). "Steinbrenner is the one signing the checks, so you do the math." Good stuff Billy, good stuff.

I personally think it's Fehr. He's the one who has kept the competitive balance in the league out of whack and that's what gets my goat as a fan. I know it sounds like I'm whining (and I probably am), but its frustrating to watch every other major league sport and know when the season starts that each team pretty much pays their players the same amount of money...give or take 10 to 20 million. In MLB the scale is disproportionate.

I'm done.

PS I have my first female reader...welcome Michelle (okay, I begged her to be on the list). She may have a good baseball take or two or 200 (who knows?).

Rudy Martzke on Tom Hamilton

2009-01-16T08:46:00.003-06:00

Rudy Martzke is one of my favorite columnists, not because of how he writes, but what he writes about. Rudy (more so in the past than today) writes about broadcasters, broadcast efforts, TV/Radio contracts, etc (the game outside the game per se).

So today, I'm going to do my best Rudy Martzke on a game I watched last night between MN and WI. Broadcast team of Tom Hamilton (yes, the Cleveland Indians radio voice) and Jim Jackson.

Opening set: Hamilton immediately turns off the viewer with possibly the worst pun I've heard since Johnny Carson left his Burbank studios: "Its cold outside, but its going to be hot inside the Kohl Center". Seriously? Same set he tells us that his partner is Jim Jackson, the two-time Big Ten player of the year. This is good information to know, but he told us that he was 2 time BTPOY 3 more times, and 3 other times that he was All BT. Do we really need to be told this 7 times?

Game Notes 1: Hamilton must be reading from a script that reads like a Shampoo bottle: (insert robotic voice) Say Bo Ryan is a good coach, Say Al Nolen is a good point guard, say The Badgers are 568-3 at the Kohl Center, Lawrence Westbrook is the cousin of Philadelphia Eagle RB Bryant Westrook, (Repeat) Bo Ryan is a good coach....

Game Notes 2: As the play continues Jackson actually adds quality insight as to why WI is handing to MN. His analysis is spot on, his terminology is fresh and he doesn't have some whacky schtick (I wish more color guys would follow his lead). Maybe because he's my age he also throws in a reference or two from his generation. Last night he made a Chris Jent reference (as much as this guy boiled my blood...it actually was fresh and applicable).

Game Notes 3 (more Hamilton bashing): As the game progresses to our favor, Hamilton stays with the script but tweaks it a hair..."if the Badgers were to lose it will make their record 568-4 at the Kohl Center" and other thought provoking gems like "this win might be a sign of things to come for the entire Westbrook family this week"

Hamilton in Review: I swear his brain can only calibrate so much data, probably because it is so busy waiting for a guy to make a 3 pointer so he can say "Triple" instead of 3 pointer.

Jackson in Review: Very high rank for a second year guy...much better than Kevin Lynch, Mike Kelley. I'd say he's a rising star (Greg Kelser type). Don't think he'll make it to Clark Kellogg status, but he's got a future. Wish he would be a little more opinionated (show some judgement about someone's play). Like last night, they treated Al Nolen (who played horrible) like a white elephant in the room. He played terrible, would someone in the booth stand up and say it...please? Jason Bohanan (aka BoneHead) takes the ball to the basket and tries to win the game with 30 seconds left, only to have it swatted away leading to a game tying set of threes by the Gophers. Jackson needs to step up and call a Spade a Spade.

6 Sports Pet Peaves

2009-01-13T17:03:00.002-06:00

A few random pet peaves that have irked me lately.

I touched on this in an earlier blog "Bad Sports Stereotype", but I have a few more:

1. When a football announcer says 8 men in the box. 10 years ago it was a cool (kind of like splashing Gatorade on a winning coach), but when you hear the guy behind you at games use the term, its no longer cool, its annoying.

2. Here's one that you don't see anymore. Whenever a pro football team succeeds or fails on Special Teams, the camera shot of the succeeding or failing team's Special Teams coach. They don't do that anymore, it use to be a PP. Now I kind of miss it.

3. Speaking of camera shots at games. Who is sick of the parent/family shot in the crowd at College games. During the 1999 NCAA Tournament, I must have seen Wally Szerbiak's dad 473 times. And after each shot, must have hear that he played professionally each time. Seriously, who cares?

4. Big Money teams (New York Yankees) paying unproven players (Mark Texiera) $20 Million per year. For those that are fans of small market baseball teams, the gap just got wider. MVPs like Justin Morneau are now forced to play in large markets in order to be paid Fair Market Value. See Blog "The Tampa Bay Have Nots."

5. Parents that say to their children under the age of 10 (or 20 for that matter) that they underachieved in their sporting event (saw it with my own eyes last night and thankfully didn't hear it out of my own mouth).

6. Rival school (Wisconsin) Athletic Directors (Barry Alvarez) who think they can send a letter to a Bowl (Champs Sports Bowl) and request that they can opt out of that bowl in favor of another bowl (Insight/Phoenix).

Sucks to be Gopher Fan

2008-10-30T12:18:00.003-06:00

As most of you know, I'm a die hard Gopher Football fan. Over the last umpteen years, they have just about found every possible way to tear my heart out. Because it is my blog, writing about the specifics of those games is strictly prohibited.

Here they sit at 7-1 (according to our biggest rivals, we haven't beaten anybody), and I can barely enjoy it. Why you ask?

Being a Gopher fan is kind of like being the Loser in Love...always the Bridesmaid, but never the Groom!!!! In my lifetime, we've barely been invited to a wedding, much less an invite to a wedding party.

Cal Stoll era - 1 bowl (probably a lot more in this era), a few big wins, some respectable All Americans.
Joe Salem era - 0 bowls, 1 big win (OSU), and a despicable loss (remember no mention of tough games here).
Lou Holtz era - .5 bowl, 1 big win (Iowa), Full Cupboard of players, Full Cupboard of NCAA Violations
John Gutenkunst era - 1.5 bowls, 1 big win (MI '86), 3 or 4 despicable losses, Cupboard Bare of players and a program bare of enthusiasm
JIm Wacker era - no comment
Glen Mason era - umpteen bowls, a few All Americans, umpteen wedding party invites, zero wedding dresses/tuxes, umpteen despicable losses.

At 7-1, all I can do is sit here and read what I just wrote and think this year has to end sour. Our past doesn't lie and the future schedule just looks way too good not to think this won't end different. Oddly enough, that makes this 7-1 run so far, almost as hard as the 1-11 run last year.

Here are 4 predictable outcomes for the worse and 1 for the good:

1. We lose Saturday and the "I-told-you-sos" come flying at me like the Alfred Hitchcock movie the "Birds".
2. We beat NW, then lose to Michigan. "You guys can't even beat Michigan when Michigan is at it's worst....you'll never be a conteda"
3. Somehow we beat NW and MI and we lose to Wisconsin at Camp Randall. "You finally played a real team, and you finally were exposed....see you at the Sun Bowl (thank God we don't play in the Sun Bowl anymore)." You see, most Gopher critics are so dumb that they don't even know the Big Ten Bowl Alliances.
4. We win 2 or (God forbid) all 3 of the next 3 and then lose to Iowa. The Gophers likely will get an updgraded bowl appearance (one that I will attend no matter the destination), but they will most likely be kept out of a New Year's Day Bowl. "See, the Gophers are just not NYD material."

The pain goes on.

Here is my 1 good scenario (and has 5-10% likelihood):

1. Gophers win out, Penn State wins out. Rose Bowl requests the owners of the Axe, Pig and Little Brown Jug to attend their Parade and Football game on NYD (one can only dream)!

The Tampa Bay Have Nots

2008-10-09T10:49:00.003-05:00

As I prepare to cheer for the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays the rest of the way, I wanted to do a little research on team payrolls. Every baseball fan knows there are 3 types of teams:

The Haves - These teams are usually in a big city, have a big fan base, big TV contract, and a legitimate chance to win every year (see NY, CHI, LA, ATL, SF).

The Sorta Haves - These teams are not as big as the Haves, but have a shot because they'll buy the right player given the right situation (see Phillies, Giants, Astros) or sometimes they buy the wrong player (see Phillies, Giants, Astros). It seems every year there's a Sorta Have in the mix (this year its the Phils).

The Have Nots - These are the teams that usually have nothing (see Pirates, Expos/Nationals, Royals). There are a few Have Nots that rise up occasionally but eventually are put to bed by a HAVE in the playoffs (Oakland, Minnesota, San Diego). And then there is the very occasional Have Not who rises up and wins (see Marlins 2003...thank you Steve Bartman).

As I chopped up these categories there were 6 teams that jumped out at me that were not in the right category:

Detroit Tigers and Seattle Mariners (back to the Sorta Haves, you Frauds!). Brewers and Reds (once a Have Not always a Have Not). And finally, the Giants and Rangers (big market/city, big TV contract teams should equal bigger salaries you guys, bust open your wallet for crying out loud).

So when you dial in a MLB playoff game this Fall, cheer for the (Devil) Rays...they're this year's winner of the 2008 BEST TEAM MONEY CAN BUY AWARD (The 2008BTMCBA).

Here are few team's in the opposite situation:

1. Detroit Tigers $138 Mil (hands down loser)
2. NY Mets/Yankees (neither qualified for postseason play for a combined $350 mil)
3. Seattle/Atlanta (no excuse for this kind of spending and that poor of performance)
4. Marlins (c'mon $21 million, that number would make Calvin Griffith blush)

The HAVES

Yankees $209 Million
Tigers $138 Million
Mets $138 Million
BoSox $133 Million
ChiSox $121 Million
Angels $119 Million
Cubs $118 Million
Dodgers $118 Million
Mariners $117 Million
Braves $102 Million

The Sorta HAVES
Cards $100 Million
Blue Jays $98 Million
Phillies $98 Million
Astros $88 Million
Brewers $81 Million
Indians $78 Million
Giants $76 Million
Reds $74 Million
Padres $73 Million
Rockies $68 Million

HAVE NOTS

Rangers $68 Million
Orioles $67 Million
D'backs $66 Million
Twins $62 Million
Royals $58 Million
Nats $54Million
Pirates $49 Million
Athletics $47 Million
Rays $43 Million
Marlins $21 Million

Who's Your Tom Chorske

2008-09-13T07:09:00.002-05:00

Background: I grew up with Tom Chorske (for those outside of MN, he played NHL hockey for 10 years, in MN that's a big deal). Tom was (and still is to some degree) everybody's All American...great athlete, great student, great guy, etc. In a lot of circles (namely Minnesota, namely hockey) Tom became "famous".

Invariably (once a month at least) I will run into a person from the past (classmate, teacher, coach, neighbor, principal, etc) and the second question they ask me (after how are you doing?)is are you still in touch with TOM CHORSKE? No lie. After a while, I have just come to realize that people are infatuated with fame/famous people.

So, the other day Tom and I were talking and I'm telling him about the most recent "are you still in touch with Tom Chorske?". It was a Principal at our elementary school. No lie. As he and I were chuckling, Tom says, "that's nothing, you don't know how many times I have to answer a question about Marty Brodeur (legendary NHL goalies) or fill in the blank NHL great."

After that line, I felt lucky to only have one of these instances occasionally.

How about you guys. Who is your Tom Chorske?

Criteria:

Someone Famous
Someone Infamous
Someone you're somewhat associated with

College Football Preview

2008-08-28T11:36:00.002-05:00

NCAA Champ: Ohio State (they'll beat the SEC Champ this year unless the Pac 10 champ is undefeated)

Heisman: Tim (Herschel Walker) Tebow

Breakout Teams: Remember Kansas, Illinois and Missouri last year? This year it's Arkansas, Pitt, and UCLA.

Traditional Power Disappointments: Alabama, Michigan, and my favorite every year...Notre Dame. Charlie (don't call me Patrick Reusse) Weis will be sitting on a hot seat come November.

Minnesota Prediction: 4-8

One Hit Wonders: Illinois, Kansas and Notre Dame

Hot Seat: Kirk Ferentz

BCS Teams I wouldn't watch if there wasn't anything else on: Oklahoma State, Oregon State, Arizona and almost all of the Big East, except Pitt (seriously, who would watch them?)

I Can't Think of anything nice to say Award: Bret Bielema

Sidebar Opinion: Was watching Big Ten Network the other night and Glen Mason was on giving his prediction/analysis for the Penn State/Coastal Carolina game (no, I did not stay tuned in for long). On several occasions, the color guy kept referring to Glen as "Coach" and "Coach Glen Mason". Did I miss something? The last time I checked, Glen Mason is no longer coaching. For that matter, neither is John Cooper, Lou Holtz, Bobby Knight, etc. PLEASE STOP CALLING THESE GUYS COACH!

Are you kidding?

2008-08-11T21:14:00.002-05:00

Note: I've had some choice moments to blog on lately (see Sergio yesterday at the PGA) but nothing with a ton of meat on the bone (see my helpless Twins somehow in a pennant race?).

But then it happened, I received my Gopher Football Tickets in the mail. An annual rite of passage for a diehard fan like myself. Ah, the ticket design, the opposing teams, sizing up wins and losses and so on and so on. You get the picture right?

I get to the Iowa game and for those keeping score at home that is the last game the Gophers will play the Metrodome. The ticket is different shaped (it's square) and its got pictures of all kinds of recent Gophers on there (Tyrone Carter, Darrell Thompson, Ben Hamilton, etc). But the 6 words on the bottom made me throw up in my mouth. Quote "Celebrating 27 years in the Metrodome" End Quote. Do I need to say another word? Since it's a sports blog I think its my rite of passage to lament the worst 27 years of my football watching life.

First of all the words celebrate and Metrodome should never be allowed in the same sentance, much less thought, daydream, or haiku.

Since there have been so many bad moments in the Metrodome (note: any response poking fun at the team's poor performance the past 27 years will be censored).....nothing needs to be written on that. It's well documented.

Here are 5 highlights (short list):

1. 1993 Wisconsin. 6:00 start to a Wisconsin/Minnesota game on a 70 degree fall day was a bad recipe for loud drunkeness from both sides. The Dome roof nearly came off on one of the final plays of the game (Rosga INT).
2. 1984 Iowa. Chip Lohmiller hits a 60 yard field goal at halftime.
3. 1998 Michigan State. 10 points in the final 2 minutes...Homecoming win. This Fall will mark the 10 year anniversary of my last hangover.
4. 1999 Penn State. Okay this victory didn't happen at the Metrodome (you see my point yet?). Minnesota defeats then unbeaten ranked #2 PSU on the final play of the game (Nystrom FG). Note: I was there. I was also there in 1997 when the Big Ten officials gift wrapped a victory for their beloved JoPa making this victory very sweet.
5. 2008 Iowa. Final game at the Metrodome.

If you have any highlights...please add below. Save the wisecracks. Trust me, I've heard 'em all.

P.S. Also, in my season ticket packet was a future schedule. Within a 4 week span next fall, these 3 teams will be playing at TCF Bank Stadium: September 12 - Air Force, September 19 - California, and October 3 - Wisconsin. Only 7 more games to go!

The Sports World is Getting Back to Normal

2008-06-11T09:35:00.003-05:00

The last few years of sport has been pretty crazy and unpredictable (see 2004 Red Sox, Michael Vick, last year's Super Bowl...). However the last few weeks I've noticed that things are getting back to normal:

1. Celtics/Lakers: Are you kidding? One of the best rivalries in sports and the games are actually fun to watch. Even NBA haters have to like what they are seeing (mostly good guys playing hard every time down the court for a full 48 minutes).

2. Wings win Cup: Like the Swallows returning to Capistrano every year in the Spring, it seems that the Red Wings are always contending for the Stanley Cup. This year was no different.

3. Gopher Football Predicted to finish just ahead of Northwestern this Fall: Enough Said.

4. Triple Crown Hopes Crushed: Big Brown loses in his bid to win the Triple Crown. Aaaaah, that's more like it. Oddly enough, I cheered against this Colt. Trainer Rick Dutrow made Bob Baffert (the horse racing equivalent to Bob Huggins) look like Santa Claus. Too bad, because Kent Desourmeaux (the jockey) seems like a pretty likable guy.

5. Timberwolves in Lottery: Ok that is almost every year, but when it happens I get all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that the sports world is running it's normal course.

This could only mean one thing...the Vikings will lose in the Super Bowl to a traditional power from the AFC (is New England a traditional power now that they've won a few Super Bowls?).

Any other signs of normalcy?

Evil vs. Evil

2008-03-13T08:49:00.003-06:00

Flashback....1991 Duke beats UNLV in the national semifinal to play Kansas in the Championship game. Here I was a Duke Hater and a Kansas Hater trying to settle in for a great basketball game. Dook: Bobby Hurley, Christian Laettner, and Grant Hill those three names should cause most to throw up in their mouth. KU: Mark Randall, Alonzo Jamison and Adonis Jordan -okay I couldn't name one of these guys...Google is sweet - the point of this blog is I usually cheer against TRADITIONAL POWERS.

What prompted this blog was the disappointment I faced Friday night when both Benilde St. Margarets (National Viewers: the equivalent to Gonzaga - up and coming power with a lot of recent success and big wins) lost to Edina (NV: The USC of MN High School Hockey: Money, Titles, Hot Cheerleaders, everyone's rival). I was okay with Edina winning, because it was a great game and it was the team I wanted to see lose in the Finals most. Then it happened. Yep. The little engine that could got thrown off the track. Roseau (NV: Green Bay Packers, very small town, steep tradition, Northern Minnesota, and rabid fans) plays Hill Murray (NV: They're like Notre Dame or as some call them the St. Paul All-Stars, Catholic, strong tradition, no one likes them unless they went there or know someone who went there). Hill Murray upsets Roseau (yes, the Rams were 28-0 and beat everyone badly until that fateful Friday night). Wasn't even close, the All Stars beat the Rams and then went on to thump the mighty hornets of Edina. Didn't see it, just like I didn't see the game in 1991. Here are some other Traditional Power Championship match-ups I wouldn't watch:

NCAAF: Notre Dame v. Texas

NCAAB: Dook v. UCLA

MLB: Yankees v. Dodgers

NCAAH: Michigan v. Boston College

NFL, NHL, or NBA: The days of traditional powers are pretty much gone. Teams I routinely cheer against: Cowboys, Wings, and Lakers. The problem is if either of those teams was in the finals I'd be fine cheering for any of the teams they were playing (e.g. Patriots, Devils, Celtics).

Can't wait to hear from the Peanut Gallery...its been a while. If you can't get reply to this post, simply send me an email and I will post it.

TZ

BCS bashing

2007-12-19T10:34:00.000-06:00

Note: Author is an alumnus of a BCS conference school (albeit a bad one).

The BCS is a joke. Okay, not exactly stepping out on that one. But, here's what it comes down to: Money. No, I'm not talking about the lame Bowl Money (that one's been argued to death). No, I'm not talking about TV revenue money, so has that one.

I'm going to talk about the one no one wants to talk about: The Haves and the Have nots.

The Haves (BCS Schools) have so much money from TV, Guaranteed Bowl Money, and Large Stadiums/Fan Bases that there is no way they are going to just let some Have Not play them and potentially beat them and tear down the aristocracy that they have built. The Haves have so many built in advantages to keeping the money on their ledger and preventing the money from going to the Have Not Ledger. One of the more unheralded advantages is the fact that most BCS teams rarely play out of conference road games because it doesn't make their athletic department any money. They basically hire the Washington Generals to come to town for a beating, pay them $300,000 for their time and pocket the additional 4 million+ dollars for their Women's Rowing team (insert your favorite minor sport team here). This isn't competition this is the Globetrotters sans Curly Neal!

Here are 4 teams that scare the Haves: Boise State, Hawaii, TCU, and Fresno State. Why? Because IF somehow they got into the championship game AND won, the purpose of the whole BCS would be ruined. Right now a precedent has been set that these four teams and the teams in their conferences can only finish 10th in the nation at best, which will always keep them out of the Championship Game. This is LEGAL segregation, and unfortunately this is their "I had a dream" speech. So, the BCS is never going to allow the Have Nots a way into their party, because eventually its going to cost them their free ride.

George Mason went to the Final Four 2 years ago in Hoops. George Mason (and every other DI hoops team) has a chance every year to make it to the Big Dance. Its a shame that Hawaii doesn't have the same chance to play for the National Championship in football.

Hey BCS: there's a white elephant in your living room, (this year it's Hawaii) I'm pointing it out!

My solution: 6 Conference Winners (ACC, Big East, Big Ten, SEC, PAC 10, Big 12) plus 2 of the following in this order: Undefeated Cinderella or/if not then Notre Dame if they are in the Top 6 in the BCS Poll, if none/one apply take the next highest rated BCS conference team/s.

A 3 Week (9 Bowl Game) Tournament can be managed under the current BCS system, Non qualifiers still get their bowls/bowl experience. And the fear of academics would never be in play, all of these games happen during Semester break. The Basketball Tournament takes 3 weekends and effects a lot more kids and teams than this tournament would.

This Year's Seedings:

1. Ohio State (Big Ten) v. 8. Hawaii (Undefeated Cinderella)
2. LSU (SEC) v. 7. Georgia (At Large)
3. Oklahoma (B12) v. 6. West Virginia (BE)
4. USC (PAC) v. 5. Virginia Tech (ACC)

Under this format 2 current BCS teams are left out (Illinois and Kansas, neither really threatened for their conference title). Notre Dame despite a late surge with quality wins over Duke and Stanford didn't make it.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

TZ

College Hockey Unis

2007-11-26T10:55:00.000-06:00

Got a lot of requests for my take on college hockey uniforms after my post on college football uniforms. I have 5 top ones and an assortment of "others receiving votes".

1. Wisconsin Badgers - Two Colors, never changes from year to year...they are the Penn State of hockey uniforms. Note: the only reason I can stomach giving the hated "94 Easts" this title is that their team is always so beatable, their fans are so uneducated, and their arena doubles as a basketball gym. Enough said.

2. Maine - A brilliant design of color and class. Always fun to see a Black Bears highlight.

3. CC - For years this has always been a favorite: Black and Gold done right. A uinque type treatment for CC combined with a taste of the tiger stripes

4. Michigan - Classic Jersey never changes, great helmets. The whole package, again their fans don't know the difference between a forecheck and and a body check.

5. St. Cloud State (3rd Jersey) - A great jersey could have been much higher but their Home and Away copy of the Montreal Canadiens almost bumped this jersey to the Others Receiving Votes.

Ohters Receiving Votes:

Denver/BC - I love this uniform, the little number in front is always a cool touch. Denver needs to kill the shiny material.

UND (old logo) - an entire book could be written about the logo controversy at UND. MY vote is for the old Chicago Blackhawks style Indian head (home whites were so sharp...brings back fond memories of Gino and the old Englestad).

Minnesota 75 year replicas - The Gophers donned a 75th anniversary uniform in the mid-nineties (Justin McHugh, Jeff Nielsen era) it had horizontal maroon and gold stripes with the old school shoe lace tie on the neck.

Ok guys, your turn to sound off

Rick Reilly

2007-11-13T10:57:00.000-06:00

I'm in the airport the other day and there he was the one and only Rick Reilly. When I was a KID I wanted to be Rod Carew, Chuck Foreman, Neal Broten or John McEnroe....somedays I wanted to be Tom Chorske but thats a whole 'nother story.

When I was an ADULT (I still am by the way), I wanted to be Rick Reilly (see bio: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/writers/rick_reilly/archive/index.html). Rick Reilly is funny (still working on that part), a great writer (still working on that part), and highly respected.

Anyway, back to the airport. So I'm not the kind of person who approaches public figures (see Glen Mason Story below). The urge to meet the guy overcame me like a man from Pittsburgh who goes home every weekend to watch the Pitt Panthers play Big East Football...it was ugly. So for like 20 minutes I rehearsed (yeah like it was a huge sales call or something) what to say and go up and talk to him. Being respectful of his time I talked to him for about 10 minutes. As I figured, we had a lot in common and we hit it off. In fact, he asked me for my business card. My brush with fame has just been elevated from playing golf with Wayne Severud every year to meeting Rick Reilly.

Glen Mason: I sat right next to Glen Mason two weeks ago and pretended I didn't know who he was....talked the whole flight with him. At the end of the flight I introduced myself as Tony he introduced himself as Glen and we went on our merry way!

Great College Uniforms

2007-10-30T09:21:00.000-06:00

My first blog since August 29. Hmmmmm, does that mean the sports world hasn't delivered anything worth posting? Not hardly, two days after the post Appalachian State gave me plenty to say. In fact, my high school's football team won several (more than 3) football games this year...that in itself is blog material, trust me we've sucked forever. Finally, Red Sox nation is now so big that I'm moving to Canada.

The real reason for the silence is in my previous blog, I predicted a fruitful season for my beloved Golden Gopher football team. For the record: I was wrong. The sad part is the Big Ten is really bad. Check that really, really, really bad. After watching Michigan this weekend, that team doesn't exactly strike the fear of anything into me.

Onto the fun. As most know, college football is my favorite past-time. Thought I'd share my favorite college uniforms. You'll see a trend, until the last one.

My Criteria: The uniform cannot have changed drastically over time. No such thing as an all one color or special jersey for special games, etc.

1. Alabama - the number on the helmet is so cool, the gray facemask...the tide has this one sewn up every year for me.
2. Michigan - most recognizable helmet in sports
3. Penn State - these guys don't need fancy uniforms....what you see is what you get
4. Texas - great logo on helmet....the burnt orange is very unique...they lose points for the "Texas" on the front of jersey.
5. LSU - probably would've ranked higher, but they've had a special jersey or two over the years. I absolutely love the stripe on the shoulder...they get points for their field (the tiger eye at midfield is by far the coolest/unique field graphic out there).

Honorable mention....Oregon. Okay, they miss out on every criteria on my list. Its just that I respect a team that is so far out there that they deserve a mention. I read somewhere that they have 300+ combinations of uniforms. Admit it everytime you see an Oregon highlight on Saturday, you get a little excited to check out their unis?

Time to sound off.

Big Ten Picks

2007-08-29T22:41:00.001-05:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is finally here. My favorite season. College football. I can't honestly name my second favorite (NCAA BB use to be until the late 90s when a kid from Monticello decided he was too good to go to class for a couple weeks so he could play out the string, instead he played video games and turned pro...no thanks).

Here goes my picks for this year's Big Ten Football season. You can bank on at least one of these to be correct by year's end.

1. Michigan, 12-0 (will eventually run into a buzz-saw vs. LSU, USC or Oklahoma)
2. Ohio State, 9-3 (all 3 losses will be to teams beginning with M)
3. Iowa, 9-3, (easy schedule...no Michigan or OSU, Drew Tate is gone, that's 5 wins right there)
4. Minnesota, 8-4 (4 easy NC games, plus 6 winnable BT games should equal 8 wins and a trip to Alamo/Outback)
5. Penn State, 8-4 (Best team in PA, that's for sure...will beat the teams they are supposed to, that's it)
6. Purdue 6-6 (Does anyone care about Purdue...really?)
7. Illinois, 5-7 (Ron Zook continues to pile up sweet recruits and sub-.500 records...something's gotta give)
8. Michigan State, 5-7 (Best looking team on paper, worst looking team come November)
9. Northwestern 3-9 (can you say water finding its proper level?)
10. Indiana, 2-10 (some say Bowl team, I say Bowel Movement)
11. Wisconsin, 0-12 (Bielema fired in November)

Never had so much fun writing #11....boy that felt good.

All kidding aside Michigan wins BT. No one else will matter come November. The BT will be a non-factor except Michigan. They will get to the BCS game and get mounted on some living room wall by some superior team like LSU, USC or Oklahoma.

There will be one surprise: Minnesota (Picked last by everyone except me)
One dissapointmet: Wisconsin (see Iowa last year...okay they won't be 0-12)

Hot Seat Coaches:: Joe Tiller & Lloyd (I'm arrogant enough to believe that we don't have to play Minnesota on a Friday night in case the Twins make the playoffs, they'll have to come to Michigan to play instead) Carr

One final prediciton: I won't do a BT Basketball preview. Maybe WCHA for all you puck-heads.

A letter to Carl

2007-08-21T13:27:00.001-05:00

The following is a letter written to my good friend Carl Monty who has lived in Hong Kong since January. Believe it or not, Carl likes the blog.

Dear Carl,

Hope the family is doing well and you've adjusted to the Asian lifestyle. The sports landscape has definitely changed since you left the States. Here are just a few highlights:

1. NBA refs fix games. This is the same set of guys who were cashing in First Class Tickets for Coach and keeping the money. Wasn't that a sign of things to come? Another sad sign of the once proud NBA.

2. Barry Bonds The Martyr. He hits 755 in San Diego and gets standing ovation (couldn't believe it). Then he hits 756 at home, and somehow the next day everyone and their brother is Barry's buddy and Bud Selig is the Goat for not being there. I had my left foot in the Barry-is-alright Camp until I saw an interview and he was wearing a hat that had "756" embroidered on it. Are you kidding me? Do you think Cal Ripken had a hat made that said "2,131"? No. Because he wasn't a complete idiot.

3. NFL Quarterbacks kill dogs. Michael Vick will confess to owning a dog kennel that raised dogs to fight other dogs. That's right fight other dogs. Several dogs were killed if they weren't tough enough. No this isn't an April Fool's joke. He's out of the NFL for at least 2 years. So much for an improved society. My guess is he won't be suiting up for the Cleveland Browns when he comes back!

4.Playoffs ain't what they use to be. The FedEx Cup starts this week in golf and the best player in the world doesn't need to show up in order to win. Can you name another sport where you physically don't have to show up to win?

5. The Gophers have good coaches. Tubby Smith is going to lead the Gophers to their first Big Ten Title since 1997 (error, 1982) and Tim Brewster is already turning heads as the football coach. His first recruiting class is already rated #4 in the Big Ten (18th nationally) and season ticket sales are already up 30 percent from last year. Imagine 50,000 fans for a Bowling Green game. WE'RE COMING!!!!!

6. The Pittsburgh Pirates Suck. Okay, they stunk before you left but taking a shot at the Buccos is always fun. (In a Lobl tone of voice):Great Stadium, Great Uniforms, Terrible Team.

Hope to talk to you soon.

TZ

The Bad Sports Stereotype

2007-07-16T15:56:00.000-05:00

First of all, are there any good stereotypes? Okay, the one about big hands isn't bad (that is if you have big hands).

So I've been watching televised sports for a good 30+ years. My first memory of a televised game worth value was Hank Aaron's 715 (I was 6 and a half). As a young impressionable kid you have no idea what a stereotype is, so let's throw out the first 20 years.But over the last 10 or so years, there is this one that just makes my blood boil:

Black Guys are "athletic" and white guys are "smart". Okay I said it. This pisses me off for a ton of reasons:

1. I know a ton of really athletic white guys (and no Steensland, you're not one of them), but because they can't do a Dominique Tomahawk Jam (DTJ), they aren't athletic.

2. Conversely, I know a ton of really athletic black guys who can do the DTJ, but I wouldn't call dumb.

3. Finally, the stereotype diminishes great white performers as non-athletic (i.e. John Stockton). How many times did you hear an announcer say this about Stockton: "Stockton is so crafty". Last time I checked crafty is an important skill for all Point Guards (white or black). It also does not allow great black athletes (i.e. Ladanian Tomlinson) to be something other than an athlete and not something more...which is sad.

Here are a few smart black guys that made good on being smart rather than athletic:

1. Robert Parrish (my favorite Celtic): this guy would be lucky to be drafted today based on flash. Had Duncan-like numbers and 3 rings. Never allowed a DTJ on him, much less performed one.
2. Travarus Bennet (my favorite Gopher BB player). Was Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year twice, rarely missed a free throw, and made open shots consistently. 0 DTJs.
3. Aaron Gibson (Offensive Tackle, Buffalo Bills). This guy is 6-6 390 pounds of non-athlete. But for some reason, he was drafted in the first round and has been in the NFL for 8 years. Currently has 0 DTJs.

Here are a few dumb white guys that have/had a ton of athletic ability:

1. Jason Williams: big ranch, no cattle
2. Ryan Leaf: could only read headlines, not blitzes
3. Phil Mickelson: did you watch the 2006 US Open?
4. John Greenagel

Please add to the list.

TZ

Some Good Asterisks

2007-06-17T20:13:00.000-05:00

So I'm watching Sports Center the other day on the treadmill and they show two Red Sox fans with homemade t-shirts with an asterisk on it. Cut to the visual with Barry Bonds stepping to the plate and I immediately chuckle. Who would have thought that the asterisk would be such a crushing blow in the sports world? Here are a few asterisks that should be both added and taken away:

* Houston Rockets (1994 & 1995) - these guys won titles when Jordan was playing baseball and wearing number 45. There are so many things wrong with those two titles. First of all, if Jordan's playing, NBC doesn't cut away to watch OJ drive down the 405...right? Second of all, who did they beat in '95? If you can't remember then they deserve an asterisk (just looked it up...Orlando...remember Little Penny)? This instance reminds me of that Eddie Murphy stand up bit, when Eddie said of Brooke Shields, "I don't know why they bother having the Miss America Pageant. Everybody knows Brooke Shields is the winner every year!" Same went for basketball without Jordan those two years.

* Cincinnati Reds 1981 - this team had the best record in baseball, but finished 2nd in both halves of the strike seasons and consequently missed the playoffs. This slip up ranks right up there with the tie in the All Star game...nice! Or worse, Mark McGwire and Rafeal Palmiero in front of a Congressional hearing. All black eyes, but just one asterisk for the Big Red Machine.

*Roger Maris - the guy hits 61 home runs, breaks Babe Ruth's long-standing record and MLB gives it an asterisk because he did it in more games. I never knew the Maris family up in Fargo also made the MLB schedule. That is one that I would vote to remove. The point is now obviously moot.

*The Trent Tucker Rule - I loved college basketball before the 35 second clock, when it had the perpetual 1 and 1 free-throws on non-shooting fouls (you get 2 shots now after 10 team fouls), and no three point arc. I remember as a kid just going crazy during any UNC game where UNC would get a 4+ point lead late in the game and the TV producer would scream "cut to Dean, cut to Dean" because you knew he would be holding up 4 fingers sending his team into the famed Dean Smith 4 corners. I hated UNC (still do), and that made me hate them even more when they did that. Anyway, back to asterisks. Guys like Trent Tucker, Lancaster Gordon at Louisville, Andrew Toney at SW Louisiana aka "the Boston Strangler", and Pete Maravich at LSU would have had so many more points it wouldn't have been funny. I mean Maravich averaged 44 a night for LSU without a stripe...are you telling me none of them came behind 19'9"? This would qualify as an asterisk needed.

* Boise State 2006 - Didn't they go undefeated last year? Please add asterisk to Florida National Championship. Florida won the National Championship for the big boys with all the money, but there are a few out there (and they don't live in, nor have they ever visited the state of Idaho) who think they were the best team in the entire NCAA last year. BSU was robbed...add asterisk please. In 1994 (pre BCS days), Penn State won the NY Times National Championship after finishing the season 12-0, but finishing #2 in virtually every poll. As of today, Boise State is the 2006 MW Sports Guy dot com presented by Multiply National Champs!

There's 5, please add to the list or tear apart mine.

Softball and other low moments in my sports history

2007-06-06T22:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, I did it. I broke down and participated in a competitive sport that requires a semblance of coordination, moments of sprinting, and my favorite: a lot of worthless chatter. Yep, I played softball last night.

Here's the rub. Our office use to neighbor next to another agency. Needless to say, over the years, minor animosity arose (just imagine the worst bathroom ettiquettes..both male and female and you know where this is going). Enter Brendan Loughery to our company. In his spare time he writes TV, web, brochures, etc. but his main job is organizing softball teams.

So needless to say our company now has a team and yes, last night we played the former neighbors....and yes we put a beating on them. Don't remember the score, but the highlight came when one of their guys struck out and no one on their team laughed (note: it is a long standing softball tradition to laugh a guy out of the park for whiffing)...they just sighed in quiet disgust.

Yes, admitting I played co-ed softball and actually stretched a single into a double because the girl in the outfield bobbled the ball is #5 on low moments in my sports history.

4. Is making an 8 on the first hole of a playoff in front 20 other guys. I didn't think it was possible to make that many bad shots in a row.

3. Getting knocked out cold in an Edina/SW hockey game my Junior year. So many girls, so little sympathy.

2. Playing for the hand picked "A" squad Kappa Sig (Big Red Machine) and losing to the B squad (Greens/JV) in a league game. The heckling still hasn't stopped. It was like watching the Titanic, after the first scene (inning), you knew the ship was going to be a wreck. That game set the word brotherhood back 10 years.

1. Being physically removed by my Dad from a baseball game at age 10 (body, hat, glove, bike, the whole 9 yards in the back of the VW van, followed by his signature 5 finger salute). Picture this: umpire and I have a "disagreement" about balls and strikes and one thing leads to another. Roberto Alomar would have fit in well on my Little League team.

Some (or actually most) have some history with me. Add your own list or for that matter add one to mine.

Top 5 Tickets in Minnesota

2007-05-29T12:49:00.000-05:00

The following is a list of the top 5 franchise/entities in the Twin Cities. The criteria is fairly simple. If you were offered tickets to watch this team, would you turn them down (not necessarily attend yourself, but take and give to someone knowing it would be a good giveaway)? Note: Over time, the list evolves (early '90s the Gopher Hoops team would have been a 2 or a 3, meanwhile the Twins in 97 or 98 would have been a 4 or a 5).

1. Wild - The novelty has not worn off, yet. I had partial season tickets and never once struggled to give even exhibition game tickets away. The atmosphere is great, the team competes, etc.

2. Twins - Very similar to #1, but no atmosphere. Mauer, Morneau, Hunter and Santana sell tickets.

3 (tie). Gopher Hockey - National Championships, great arena, excting team equals ticket demand. Still the only team in its sport to broadcast 90 percent of its games.

3. Vikings - The reigning #1 for 40+ years...their product has gotten so bad and the people that attend are this (fingers 1 inch apart) close to WWE. Their 40 TV rating (highest in MN every week) every Sunday is the only thing that saves them from a #4 ranking.

5. T'Wolves - They squeak past Gopher Football. The product is so bad. Besides KG, name another guy on the team?

Others receiving votes: Gopher Football (up and comer, new coach & new stadium..watch out Wolves) and Gopher Basketball (couldn't give away 6 games last year).

Triple Crown Mania

2007-04-30T21:25:00.000-05:00

Like the Swallows returning to Capistrano (whatever that means), every Spring we get our taste of a potential Triple Crown Winner. I remember my first Triple Crown, 1977, Seattle Slew...he made it look so easy. Then the next year, one of the best rivalries in sports unfolded in front of my eyes (how I didn't know)...Affirmed v. Alydar. In Horse Racing Circles this is Red Sox/Yankees. And ever since its been nearly 30 years of close calls (sort of like being a Viking fan). No matter, it's still exciting stuff.

I don't know why, but these three races just get my blood going. Is it the fact that no horse can win the Triple Crown? Is it those cheesy special interest stories leading up to the race? Or is it because its the most low maintainence sport of them all (no regional bias, no research, no year-round banter, 1 hour of special interest story and 90 seconds of racing..that's it)? Or, is early May a dead time for Sports? The pageantry? Whatever?! Come Saturday my whole family will be peeled to the set.

Here are some fun lists to prime your pump:

Great Horses:

1. Smarty Jones (2004) - Almost cried when Birdstone blew by him at the Belmont...this horse was it.
2. Charismatic (1999) - Broke his leg in the Belmont still finished third to Lemon Drop Kid...that's Phil Richard toughness.
3. Easy Goer (1989) - beat Sunday Silence to snatch TC...one of the best finishes in any sport ever.
4. Alydar (1978) - lost three times to Affirmed. Alydar is like Barry Bonds: lots of stats and great blood lines, but not much hardware.
5. Afleet Alex (2005) - A starting gate slip cost this Colt immortality...two easy wins in Preakness and Belmont.

Great Horses I cheered against:

1. Point Given*
2. War Emblem*
3. Silver Charm*
4. Real Quite*
*denotes Bob Baffert trained horse

Favorite Triple Crown Anthem:

Maryland, My Maryland (Preakness)

Best Drink:

1. Black Eyed Susan (Preakness)
2. Mint Julip (Derby)
3. Belmont Breeze (Gross)

Favorite Saying:

And down the stretch the come! (Dave Johnson Style)

Here's his call from the 1999 Derby:

Charismatic is coming on strongly... DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME! Cat Thief digging in at the rail. Worldly Manner with Jerry Bailey. Charismatic, trained by Lukas, on the outside, now Lukas running 1-2. Charismatic on the outside takes command! Cat Thief... in the middle of the track, Menifee is flying, BUT IT'S CHARISMATIC HOLDING ON TO WIN IT BY A HEAD!

Are you pumped yet for Saturday? If not, you're probably not reading this far anyway.

Here's my pick for Saturday:

Curlin (won the Wood Memorial...winner of this prep race has won the most Derbies)

5 Teams I Cheer For that most don't

2007-04-24T21:59:00.000-05:00

Do any of you guys have friends that have favorite teams from other cities and its like North Carolina Basketball or the LA Dodgers? I'm not naming names (Jay Ettinger), but these guys always have an answer for every sporting situation. Go Yankees! What? Yeah, my Mom's from New York. Or go USC! What? Yeah, my cousin went there. But my all-time favorite are the Duke basketball and Notre Dame football guys...they're the worst. Next time you run into one ask them how their other team's are doing like say Lacrosse or Football at Duke...and when they back peddle (oh, I just like their such and such team), that's when you got 'em. A real sports fan should choose his teams with a little more salt.

Below is my list of teams no one cheers for (literally).

Criteria: Must have very little following, must perform better than perceived.

1. Florida Marlins. Have you ever seen more than 10,000 fans at one of their home games? Have you ever not seen them compete? Have you ever seen Dontrell Willis (a pitcher) leg out a triple? This is the Red Headed Step Child marries the Little Engine That Could of all sports teams. There are plenty of Red Headed Step Children teams (see Devil Rays, Arizona Cardinals) and plenty of Little Engines (see Packers, Twins, or Edmonton Oilers). But no team combines them both as well as the Marlins.

2. Golden Gopher Football. With Glen Mason at the helm, he gave everyone in the state the green light to hate them and more or less root against them. The stadium should be cause for removal from the Big 10. They are a very close second. Despite having terrible recruiting and no fan support the Gophs always found a way to compete. New coach, new stadium will probably eliminate the fan support part of the equation. Based on the criteria, they probably will slip down this chart, since its my alma mater, I'm okay with that.

3. Wake Forest Anything. Fan following outside of its 300 alums (and a few nappie headed groupies) is brutal...so they have that part down. The outperforming is unbelievable. In hoops they are like the 6th choice for recruits behind UNC, Duke, NCST, UNC Charlotte and Elon but they still find their way into the tournament almost every year. But more amazing has to be football. Last year they won the ACC...yes the ACC, the future football super power (see future blogs on the ACC) that has Miami, Florida State, Clemson, BC, Virginia Tech, and Georgia Tech (all perennial T25s) in its conference plus Virginia, NCST, and Maryland (no cup of Tea). Go Deacs.

4. NY Jets. Decent following by NFL standards but by all means the second team in NYC. This team gets no respect...ever. They consistently outperform better teams no matter the coach, QB, lack of skill positions. Plus J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets has gotta be one of the best chants in pro sports.

5. San Antonio Spurs. Okay they have a huge fan following in San Antonio (bad choice). But nationwide no one cares if they win...period. This team is a Tony Parker/Eva Longoria breakup away from moving up a notch. They're boring, they win NBA titles, and they don't get in trouble. Maybe the other teams should consider their formula. That is if winning mattered at all in this league (sorry Mune for the bad NBA karma).

Minnesota's Top 20

2007-04-07T21:29:00.000-05:00

The following is a list of my top 20 golf courses in the fair state of MN. Courses are selected on three criteria (beauty, difficulty, and tradition):

1. Interlachen (No Brainer)
2. Hazeltine (No Brainer)
3. Minneapolis (No Nonsense, has it all...except a Driving Range)
4. Spring Hill (Has everything except Tradition...Bobby Jones never played there)
5. White Bear Yacht (Nothing missing except I hate side hill lies)
6. Northland (Can you tell I like Donald Ross?)
7. Minikahda (Home Course bias...would rank higher if not for the recent remodel)
8. Wilderness (Never played it, a very good source ranks it #1 overall)
9. Woodhill (steeped in tradition and beauty, played there several times, never get over how cool this place is)
10. The Classic (#11 is the hardest green in the state to hit)
11. Windsong Farm (everything but tradition, very fair, very cool)
12. Deacon's Lodge (bulldoze #10 and this thing moves into the top 10)
13. Somerby (Never played it, a good source says top 10)
14. Somerset (Has all 3, lacks difficulty)
15. Rochester CC (Can you say hallways?)
16. Dacotah Ridge (Never played it, good source says top 20)
17. Olympic Hills (top 3 difficulty, only 3 vacation holes)
18. The Legends (Beautiful, tough, great golf experience)
19. Oak Ridge (Its been a long time...I'd run through hell in a gasoline jacket to play there...that's a Pete Rose line)
20. Wayzata (#9 and #18 are the two toughest finishing holes I've ever seen)

Others receiving votes:
TPC, Edinborough USA, Willingers, Golden Valley, & Giant's Ridge