Some Good Asterisks

So I'm watching Sports Center the other day on the treadmill and they show two Red Sox fans with homemade t-shirts with an asterisk on it. Cut to the visual with Barry Bonds stepping to the plate and I immediately chuckle. Who would have thought that the asterisk would be such a crushing blow in the sports world? Here are a few asterisks that should be both added and taken away:

* Houston Rockets (1994 & 1995) - these guys won titles when Jordan was playing baseball and wearing number 45. There are so many things wrong with those two titles. First of all, if Jordan's playing, NBC doesn't cut away to watch OJ drive down the 405...right? Second of all, who did they beat in '95? If you can't remember then they deserve an asterisk (just looked it up...Orlando...remember Little Penny)? This instance reminds me of that Eddie Murphy stand up bit, when Eddie said of Brooke Shields, "I don't know why they bother having the Miss America Pageant. Everybody knows Brooke Shields is the winner every year!" Same went for basketball without Jordan those two years.

* Cincinnati Reds 1981 - this team had the best record in baseball, but finished 2nd in both halves of the strike seasons and consequently missed the playoffs. This slip up ranks right up there with the tie in the All Star game...nice! Or worse, Mark McGwire and Rafeal Palmiero in front of a Congressional hearing. All black eyes, but just one asterisk for the Big Red Machine.

*Roger Maris - the guy hits 61 home runs, breaks Babe Ruth's long-standing record and MLB gives it an asterisk because he did it in more games. I never knew the Maris family up in Fargo also made the MLB schedule. That is one that I would vote to remove. The point is now obviously moot.

*The Trent Tucker Rule - I loved college basketball before the 35 second clock, when it had the perpetual 1 and 1 free-throws on non-shooting fouls (you get 2 shots now after 10 team fouls), and no three point arc. I remember as a kid just going crazy during any UNC game where UNC would get a 4+ point lead late in the game and the TV producer would scream "cut to Dean, cut to Dean" because you knew he would be holding up 4 fingers sending his team into the famed Dean Smith 4 corners. I hated UNC (still do), and that made me hate them even more when they did that. Anyway, back to asterisks. Guys like Trent Tucker, Lancaster Gordon at Louisville, Andrew Toney at SW Louisiana aka "the Boston Strangler", and Pete Maravich at LSU would have had so many more points it wouldn't have been funny. I mean Maravich averaged 44 a night for LSU without a stripe...are you telling me none of them came behind 19'9"? This would qualify as an asterisk needed.

* Boise State 2006 - Didn't they go undefeated last year? Please add asterisk to Florida National Championship. Florida won the National Championship for the big boys with all the money, but there are a few out there (and they don't live in, nor have they ever visited the state of Idaho) who think they were the best team in the entire NCAA last year. BSU was robbed...add asterisk please. In 1994 (pre BCS days), Penn State won the NY Times National Championship after finishing the season 12-0, but finishing #2 in virtually every poll. As of today, Boise State is the 2006 MW Sports Guy dot com presented by Multiply National Champs!

There's 5, please add to the list or tear apart mine.

Softball and other low moments in my sports history

Okay, I did it. I broke down and participated in a competitive sport that requires a semblance of coordination, moments of sprinting, and my favorite: a lot of worthless chatter. Yep, I played softball last night.

Here's the rub. Our office use to neighbor next to another agency. Needless to say, over the years, minor animosity arose (just imagine the worst bathroom ettiquettes..both male and female and you know where this is going). Enter Brendan Loughery to our company. In his spare time he writes TV, web, brochures, etc. but his main job is organizing softball teams.

So needless to say our company now has a team and yes, last night we played the former neighbors....and yes we put a beating on them. Don't remember the score, but the highlight came when one of their guys struck out and no one on their team laughed (note: it is a long standing softball tradition to laugh a guy out of the park for whiffing)...they just sighed in quiet disgust.

Yes, admitting I played co-ed softball and actually stretched a single into a double because the girl in the outfield bobbled the ball is #5 on low moments in my sports history.

4. Is making an 8 on the first hole of a playoff in front 20 other guys. I didn't think it was possible to make that many bad shots in a row.

3. Getting knocked out cold in an Edina/SW hockey game my Junior year. So many girls, so little sympathy.

2. Playing for the hand picked "A" squad Kappa Sig (Big Red Machine) and losing to the B squad (Greens/JV) in a league game. The heckling still hasn't stopped. It was like watching the Titanic, after the first scene (inning), you knew the ship was going to be a wreck. That game set the word brotherhood back 10 years.

1. Being physically removed by my Dad from a baseball game at age 10 (body, hat, glove, bike, the whole 9 yards in the back of the VW van, followed by his signature 5 finger salute). Picture this: umpire and I have a "disagreement" about balls and strikes and one thing leads to another. Roberto Alomar would have fit in well on my Little League team.

Some (or actually most) have some history with me. Add your own list or for that matter add one to mine.