Top 10 Sports Fans

This post is for my 66 buddies who I email this blog.

While talking to a buddy (see #1) today he mentioned he may skip watching Minnesota/USC game Saturday in favor of a neighborhood party.  I told him his Top 10 Sports Fan status would be in jeopardy.  He inquired what the criteria for this high regard was....I told him, "read my blog and you'll find out."

The following is a list of 10 dudes who make my top 10 list - 66 total dudes - the criteria was generated by a crack committee of sports experts and a panel of Sea Lions off the coast of Chile.

Criteria: must be passionate about ALL sports (Men's Figure Skating is not a sport, it's for men who couldn't play another sport, period).  Liking some sports is an automatic DQ (if you need to ask what DQ is, you're probably not gonna make the list). You can show no signs of bandwagon-ism (that eliminates my wife Debi....she magically became a Packer fan again last Winter). And for tiebreaker purposes being a good athlete helps your cause.

10. Scott Polman: Hailing from Shakopee, Minnesota - Scott is the guy who speaks sports, not english.  He refers to players on his favorite teams by first name (e.g. Donovan has a great arm), he uses Ron Jaworski type language (e.g. two deep zone and 8 in the box) about sports that he never even played.  But the #1 reason he makes this list is he always thinks his team is going to win the prize (e.g. "...the Vikes with the last place schedule are going to make a run this year....").

9. Jay Ettinger: This guy barely makes the list.  He is a sports fan Times Ten.  I just hate his choice of teams to follow: LA Dodgers and North Carolina Hoops (what is it 1982??? - c'mon Jay, bump the Levi cordorouys and get with the times).

8. Dave Krikke: This guy is a noob to my blog, but he memorizes each word to this blog like a Bible verse (that would qualify most).  But this guy bleeds sports (again despite poor choices like the Yankees and Hawks) - his lack of hockey knowledge doesn't keep him out of the top 10, mostly because he respects it as a cultural icon here in MN.

7.  Carl Monty: passionate about all sports, loyal to his teams (White Sox, Wolverines, Red Wings, etc) - his athleticism hurts him for sure.

6. Dave Lissauer: First of all, any guy who gives himself his own knickname (Deuce) scores points on the Sports Fan list. A die hard Indians, Cavs, and Browns fan, Deuce is one for the ages.  Whenever he's feeling a little big for his britches these phrases usually come in handy: "The Drive", "The Shot", "The Fumble", or my favorite "Edgar Rentieria".

5. Steve Monson: Steve and I go way back.  Steve met his wife on a baseball trip to East Lansing, MI to watch his brother play against MSU. Whenever and wherever there is a game -- Steve (like his dad Rich) will be there.  Lives in Dallas and is more connected on Minnesota sports than anyone I know.

4. Tony/Scott Cattelino: They both deserve a spot on this list...but ranking one higher than the other would be offensive.  My brother/father in-law combo is a treat to be around (except when the Gophers play the Badgers).  They know it and love it all (they're admittedly weak in hockey, but still follow it).

3. Jeff Lobl: this guy defines sports fan -- sports drips out of his pours every minute of every day.  Loyal is an understatement, he's Pitt Panther football fan through and through (he proposed to his wife on the 50 yard line of Pitt Stadium with and gave his wife an autographed ball of then coach Johnny Majors).  Jeff's short coming is his huge disdain of anything basketball.  If you asked him who LBJ is he'd say that crummy president from the '60's.

2. Pete Johnson: I remember the first day I met Pete (September, 1986). Imagine the first day Wally Pip met Lou Gehrig. I thought I knew everything about sports - this guy put me to shame within 5 minutes.  I felt like that guy in Amadeus who knew he's never be as good as Mozart.  The guy is a sports encyclopedia.  Now if he could only beat me in golf or backgammon.

1. Joe Janasz: The Polish Bow and Arrow....this guy is D, all of the above.  I am continually amazed by his fandom.  There isn't an event he misses...he is as die hard as they come (he walked home from the Dome after the 98 NFC Championship Game).  The other day we show up at a party after watching the Minnesota/USC game for 3+ hours he gets out of the car with an Oregon t-shirt on.  I'm like, "Joe, what's with the Duck shirt?" To which he responds, "hey, if you got an Oregon shirt on, the odds of us seeing the game tonight just doubled!!!!!" On top of his fandom the guy runs at least 3 marathons a year, plays 40 rounds of golf, and coaches winning baseball.

Others receiving votes: Jeff Traylor (he'd be #1 if this were the University of Texas only category), Debi Zosel (for marrying me), Mark McCrory (he'd make my list - but Bears and Yankees is an automatic DQ), and my Mom (for letting me come home from Kindergarten to 12th grade to watch the State High School Hockey Tournament).

Besides the worst team, the Twins have worst names, too

There are certain guys that have great baseball names and immediately strike a fear in you...the first great name I remember was Cesar Cedeno.  I remember just saying it the first time and it was fun, but on top of that he was a pretty good ball player, he was even better because of his name.  A few more off the top of my head: Jaoquin Andujar, Reggie Jackson, Gorman Thomas, Vladamir Guerrero and now Joey Votto....these guys were/are all good/great players in their day, but their name seem/s to have have made them even better (at least to me).

Let's take a look at my beloved Twins.  Their best power hitters are Justin, Jason and Michael.  This sounds more like the makings of a suburban white-boy band than Murderer's Row.  Their highest paid and marquee player is just Joe.  And he likes being just Joe.  Too bad Joe, you're a slap hitting Catcher with a Vitamin D Whole Milk contract that will forever strangle my profit slathering Twins.

I'm not done.  Their pitcher names (except Liriano) are the worst in the majors: Scott Baker, Glen Perkins, Kevin Slowey, and Matt Capps.  Carl Pavano sounds cool, but then you see him and his 84 mph fastball and then you're like, no....not cool.

So then you look to the young guns for hope: Ben Revere...sorry, he's not exactly riding in to save the day, or Trevor Plouffe...ah ah, not gonna do it.....Jason Repko...okay, you're starting to see my point.  The list goes on and on: Delmon Young (nope, not cool), Matt Tolbert (buh bye) and Alex Burnett (end of story).

But Tony, what about Valencia or Nishi...those are cool names?  Not if they can't hit out of a wet paper sack they're not cool.

Okay, I admit picking on the Twins isn't exactly risky at this point...they suck.  But I guess it would be more fun if just one guy had a cool name and he backed it up a couple time a week.

Help me add to the list of cool names....send me a few.

Z

PS Not trading marketable players before July 30 deadline made about as much sense as Fox Sports keeping with the Cleatus The Robot gig. Shaking my head.

Baseball/Softball Summer Wrap Up - 4 forgettable encounters and one great 1

An old friend (and let me stress the old part) once told me, "Tony, if your team wins with class and loses with dignity, that means you got the rest figured out.  If you don't, you were either raised wrong or you got some unfinished athletic business and you're using someone else to get you there!!!"

This blog highlights 4 encounters I had this Summer that I'd rather forget, but each comes back to what my old friend said...and it also features one encounter that I will choose to always remember.

Encounter #1: I'm coaching in a boys baseball game and the best team (by far) is playing right after us.  They pulled off the Triple Crown of prickhood in 15 minutes flat.  They laughed at one of the players of our opponent's who struck out looking, they talked smack about being bored playing teams like ours and the team they were about to play and last but not least they barged into our dugout before we were even close to ready to vacate.

Encounter #2: While playing a game against a notorious team from south of the MN river...the other coach yelled so loud at his team and for so long that the other 3 fields stopped play to make sure lives weren't being sacrificed.  In the same game, the same coach on 4 different occasions pulled 4 different kids for making errors (total class, dude). But his all time low light came after we swept them for the season, he said "I wouldn't take one of their players over any of his 12...." right to my face in front of like 5 of my kids and parents.  Apparently this guy had given our team some thought.

Encounter #3: This is the true prize.  While coaching my daughter's K-2 softball team...a friend observed the other team's coach encouraging his girls' rolling the ball to first base rather than the much more difficult approach of throwing it!  This technique is offensive and sexist.  No coach would ever teach a group of boys to do the same in order to win (I know, I coached K-2 boys for years and never saw this approach once). To add insult to injury, this team had a ground ball hit to their best player at Pitcher (she clearly knew how to throw it) who then rolled it to their second best person at 1st base (who clearly knew how to catch) for their team's only put out of the night.  To which the coach yelled, "Nice Play.....that's how you do it!"  To which I almost collapsed.

Encounter #4: Last night, my daughter's team is playing a playoff softball game (note: I was not there).  Olivia's team is winning handily 14-2 to a completely overmatched team.  Late in the game a girl on her team gets injured pretty badly.  Through free substitution, another girl was placed in the game.  What the head coach failed to realize was that the girl who was sent in had already played her minimum number of innings in the infield....the other coach noticed and immediately called our team on it and we were forced to forfeit the game.  Read future blogs about this one....I think the title will be "C'mon get a clue moments".  Sidebar: My daughter gets in the car, turns to my wife and says, "I'm so glad Dad wasn't here....he would have FREAKED!!!!"  I honestly wouldn't have freaked...the rule is pretty clear on the substitutions...the assistant coach who innocently sent the girl out there didn't know...he felt awful. I probably would've mustered up a nice little barb for the lady who caught it, like "Do you watch golf tournaments and call the PGA when you see an infraction???"

Good One: This Summer, we had the good fortune of playing a team from Winona, MN called Goodview Sandlot.  With special emphasis on the word Sandlot.  This team had nicknames for all their kids...they had tall kids, short kids, fat kids, fast kids, white kids and even a black kid.  For all their differences they had one thing in common - they loved baseball.  Their coach fostered a love for the game amongst their kids - the rest took care of itself.  Never once did he raise his voice, never once did he shout instruction to his players in the batters box or scream plays or give signals...he just let them play ball (note: the coach was a ripe 25 years old). We lost to them 3-1...had bases juiced in the bottom of the 6th and they brought in their Scotty Smalls to end it...and they did.

Father's Day

So I'm coaching my son Jake's baseball team last weekend in a local tournament.  Our team is just above average record-wise, but long on athletic ability and endless potential.

In the early innings, we can't hit their (Elk River) starter.  The kid's fastest pitch was maybe 30 mph.  Our kids constantly challenged to hit in the 60 MPH cage are completely baffled. The Elks peck away each inning and take a commanding lead into the bottom of the 6th ahead 8-2.  I tell all 10 kids, we need to bat around in order to win...we've done it before, let's do it again (truly hoping to just get something positive brewing for our next game immediately following).

We start a little party -- couple hits, couple walks and boom just like that it's 8-5.  They yank their pitcher, bring in another kid.  Couple hits, a wild pitch...it's 8-7, no outs, they bring in their closer.  Nobody out runner on 1st and 2nd, nicest kid under the sun (dripping with potential, has had a rough start to the season) drives a ball to the gap, score is tied.  As the runner on first is rounding third, the cut off man bobbles the ball. As the third base coach I send him home....the throw.....safe on a wild throw.  We win. We come back from 6 down and win in walk off fashion....9-8!

In the photo below you will see our kid sliding into home for the winning run and the umpire.  But if you look closely you will see two males, one past his prime living the dream as a coach and one just hitting his prime - jumping for joy.

Why Kids Suck at Baseball

Baseball is called America's pastime.  That's because you can play it with a stick and a ball, the rules are simple -- and the heroes are likable and lovable with names like Whitey, Babe, Willie or just Joe.  When we were kids we played ball around the clock.  Some of the kids never played for a "team"...mostly because they weren't good enough, it cost money, or they didn't care enough to sign up. Kids in my 'hood just played to play.

In 1998, I moved to the suburbs....two doors down there were two brothers (Eric and Matt) that played all day long.  Screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs at every close play, every home run -- all with a passion I once played with.  In an odd way I was jealous of the passion they played with because now my passions had switched to coaching and projects around my new house. Their shrieks brought back so many good memories, they were sounds of joy (almost music to my ears). Sidebar: Eric and Matt went on to fantastic baseball careers.

Fast Forward to 2011

I coach an 11 year old traveling baseball team. I have a nice crew of boys that play the game well (their defensive statistics rival a major league teams, they throw strikes like a pitching machine and some can hit balls pitched speeds I know I couldn't have ever hit at that age).

But here are a few reasons why kids aren't any good at baseball anymore.

Knowledge: These kids don't know the game.  They don't sit around on a rainy day Saturday and watch The Game of the Week on NBC listening to Vin Scully call a game (or even better, the B crew Tony Kubek and Joe Gariogola).  Today they watch Sports Center and they know the great players and they know who gets them points on their fantasy team, but they don't understand why a guy would hit a ball to the right side to score a run versus swinging for the fence to get on TV.

Mommy Says: Kids today are very good at being told when to be somewhere, where to be, and how long they have to be there.  That's a bad recipe for baseball.  In baseball, there is no time limit and no rule on how far to lead off, or how hard to throw it. By age 11, a boy has played for 5 years -- but for the life of me today they don't know if the ball is 45 feet away from the catcher to steal home on a Passed Ball. Why is this? Their coach didn't say so.  For the life of me, if a kid is leading off way too far at 1st or 3rd, a kid won't throw down. Why is this? Their coach didn't say so. They don't do these things because they've been programmed to do exactly what authority tells them...and if they don't they get yelled at to conform.

No Instinct: A secondary flaw to the "Mommy Says" reason is kids don't play like I did, or Eric and Matt did as late as the late 1990's. People learn by doing things hands on.  Showing up for a practice and learning skills is nice and praises to the thousands of volunteer coaches in America for their time. But you'd be better served coaching kids by dropping them off at the park, hand them a tennis ball and some cheap wood bats, some cheap Target bases and then LEAVE for 2 hours. You'd return to find a kid who understood how to hit a crappy pitch the other way, a kid who knew how fast he was and how much he could get away with, and most important a kid who understands if the punk on the other team is showing you up you just deck him next time.

Other Sport Pressure: One of the biggest problems in Minnesota is the pressure to play Hockey or Basketball year round.  Kids and parents are constantly struggling to keep up in the arms race of these two important (longer season) sports.  Kids are running from baseball diamonds to hockey rinks, basketball gyms and training facilities....year round. See my blog on Youth Hockey for proof.

Choices/Toys: My 11 year old has access to Internet, he has an iPod touch, Sony Wii, Comcast On Demand, DVR, DVDs, Baseball Cards, a Swimming Pool, and every toy under the Sun. By most standards he's not considered spoiled.  Compared to my childhood, he'd be Richie Rich. On top of the toys, his parents have managed to wedge him into 500 other activities.  All of these things are all well and fine on their own, but smashed together it can be a mess.

So in summary, kids suck at baseball because we as parents over program, over indulge, and over coach them.  The sad fact is there is no easy answer -- other than the fateful crossroads that most parents face - make Johnny specialize in one sport by age 11 so that they can be good/great at something.

My Non Bucket List

Everyone has a bucket list, I'm creating a Non Bucket List of things I won't do, ever (sports related).

Some by choice, some by sheer physical impossibility, some by financial/prestige impossibility.

Choice:

1. Go to any MLB stadium and cheer for a big market team
2. Go to a PGA tour event and shout, "You the Man!"
3. Argue with an ump during a Kindergarten softball game
4. String together the next three sentences into one. Lets. Go. Red.
5. Beat my chest when my favorite MLB team wins the worst division baseball

Physical:

1. Sky Dive
2. Enter a Hot Dog eating contest
3. Play on a JCC under 6 foot basketball team
4. Run Boston Marathon
5. Pose with David Stern as #1 pick in NBA draft

Financial/Prestige:

1. Play Augusta
2. Move to Edina ;)
3. Throw out the first pitch at Twins game
4. Sit court side next to Jack at a Lakers game (ran out of choice ones)
5. Coach PeeWee football for a living

Besides your obvious loyalties and the dude who reads this that thinks he's the next Prefontaine, do you see yourself doing any of these 15?  If so, why?

Z

Barry Sanders or Deion Sanders, which one are you?

The age old question, do you jump around like a fool and celebrate because it may be your last time scoring or do you act like you've been there before?

Barry Sanders was my favorite football player. Supremely talented, exciting to watch, but most memorable was how he celebrated a TD.  He handed the ball to the referee. Deion Sanders was also supremely talented and exciting to watch.  However, his celebrations of success were epic.  Pretty sure they made rules against celebration because of "Neon" Deion.

Even the most casual sports' fans would know the difference between the two.  And most, if asked, would say they are most like Barry.  Barry is what everyone aspires to be (talented, classy, and very humble).  Deion on the other hand, was a punk.  In case your memory has faded, watch what he did to Tim McGarver during a post game celebration for proof (Click Here).  He took his amazing gift and flaunted it...flaunting to the point whereby most couldn't stand him and they couldn't wait until he was out of the limelight.

Okay....I'm not breaking new ground here on Barry versus Deion.  But my point is simple, we can all spot a great guy pretty quickly and we definitely know a punk in a hurry. But for all the times we help a little old lady across the street, we probably have done a TD dance in a meaningless intramural football game, or worn a jersey that says, "Excuse Me" on the back (i.e. me).

So, next time you see someone celebrate victory, a TD, or a goal and you don't like it.  Here are some things to remember:

1. Think about all of your victory celebrations and success... chances are good your opponent saw Deion in you not Barry.

2. Appreciate it.  That athlete or team worked their tail/s off, congratulations.

3. If you don't like it or can't possibly appreciate it, stop 'em next time and quit your whining (i.e. work harder).

4. The sports' God's always get even on guys like Deion (or Tiger).

5. Finally, if you act like a clown, you'll be remembered as a clown.

Thank you Barry Sanders for your great example.