Besides the worst team, the Twins have worst names, too

There are certain guys that have great baseball names and immediately strike a fear in you...the first great name I remember was Cesar Cedeno.  I remember just saying it the first time and it was fun, but on top of that he was a pretty good ball player, he was even better because of his name.  A few more off the top of my head: Jaoquin Andujar, Reggie Jackson, Gorman Thomas, Vladamir Guerrero and now Joey Votto....these guys were/are all good/great players in their day, but their name seem/s to have have made them even better (at least to me).

Let's take a look at my beloved Twins.  Their best power hitters are Justin, Jason and Michael.  This sounds more like the makings of a suburban white-boy band than Murderer's Row.  Their highest paid and marquee player is just Joe.  And he likes being just Joe.  Too bad Joe, you're a slap hitting Catcher with a Vitamin D Whole Milk contract that will forever strangle my profit slathering Twins.

I'm not done.  Their pitcher names (except Liriano) are the worst in the majors: Scott Baker, Glen Perkins, Kevin Slowey, and Matt Capps.  Carl Pavano sounds cool, but then you see him and his 84 mph fastball and then you're like, no....not cool.

So then you look to the young guns for hope: Ben Revere...sorry, he's not exactly riding in to save the day, or Trevor Plouffe...ah ah, not gonna do it.....Jason Repko...okay, you're starting to see my point.  The list goes on and on: Delmon Young (nope, not cool), Matt Tolbert (buh bye) and Alex Burnett (end of story).

But Tony, what about Valencia or Nishi...those are cool names?  Not if they can't hit out of a wet paper sack they're not cool.

Okay, I admit picking on the Twins isn't exactly risky at this point...they suck.  But I guess it would be more fun if just one guy had a cool name and he backed it up a couple time a week.

Help me add to the list of cool names....send me a few.

Z

PS Not trading marketable players before July 30 deadline made about as much sense as Fox Sports keeping with the Cleatus The Robot gig. Shaking my head.