Joel Maturi's has done it again

Everybody has made mistakes.  Just look at my sweet mullet I wore in HS as evidence.  But how can one guy make so many public mistakes and still keep his job.

For the out-of-staters:  Joel Maturi is the AD at the University of Minnesota (aka The U...hey Michael Irvin, I'm taking the nickname of my school back, you've been using it for too long). Joel is from Minnesota (Chisholm to be exact) and has been AD here since 2002. Prior to Minnesota he held the same post at Miami of Ohio and the University of Denver.  He cut his teeth in Madison, WI as an assistant AD from 1987 to 1996 at the University of Wisconsin.  He graduated from Notre Dame.  The UW and ND association alone were red flags for me...but once you see this list of facts....his past was nothing compared to the path of destruction he has led us through.

Below is a list of Maturism's we Gopher fans have had to endure since 2002 (and the hiring of Jerry Kill is not one of them....I actually like that choice).

10. "We Are Minnesota" - at his press conference announcing his hire...Joel said he had a "new" cheer that he wanted to bring to Minnesota.  One side of the stands would yell "We Are" and the other side would say "Minnesota".  I can't make it up.  Apparently he had never been to a Penn State game or he had and he just wanted to copy them.  Thankfully the cheer never took.

9. "Dan Monson, you're fffff...iiiiiii....fine until next year." In the Spring of 2006, Joel had his marching orders to fire the overmatched Dan Monson as Head Basketball Coach.  In fact, he got on a plane to Cincinnati to go dismiss him after their first round NIT loss.  Mr. Nice Guy Joel couldn't pull the trigger.  Instead, he waited until the following season and did it a few games in to the 2006-2007 campaign (do you see a pattern here?) and then watched the once full Williams Arena sit empty for another long season.

8. "Barry will you coach the Gophers?" True Story.  In his many interviews with the press yesterday, Joel told Bob Sansevere (Pioneer Press) that one of the people he offered the job to was Barry Alvarez.  Barry has a statue of himself outside of Camp Randall Stadium, has been offered jobs at Miami, and several others in the NFL...and somehow Jamming Joel thought he may want to come here???  That's not the most shameful act of this whole thing (offering).  In my opinion admitting that we offered our job to our biggest rival's former coach should be the last straw for his employment at the U.

7. "Don Lucia is my guy." Don Lucia has the easiest job in college sports.  He coaches the U's hockey team.  Our state produces the most American bread college and pro hockey players.  Hockey is to Minnesota what Basketball is to Indiana. He is sitting in the middle of the cabbage patch and can't manage to figure out how to win more than he loses.  Last week we were swept by a sub-rival called Minnesota State Mankato. I could have sworn there was rule in the Athletic Department at the U...fail to make NCAA tourney, you're fired.  Hopefully, JM can pull the trigger this Spring once The Don fails his (shrinking waiting list only) season ticket holders, again.

6. "Dave Mona" One of The U's biggest supporters is local PR guy Dave Mona.  By default, Dave is one of the color commentators for the football team.  This obviously made him qualified to help the U pick a new coach.  Well, at least that's what Joel thought anyway. On top of hiring Mona, he asked other Athletic Directors who they thought might be good hires.  Dude, are you serious?  Asking your competition who you should hire is about the same as giving them your playbook. Didn't we hire a PR guy to help manage the new coach selection...huh?

5. "First Lady of Gopher Football" At yesterday's press conference he introduced Jerry Kill's wife, Rebecca, as the First Lady of Gopher Football. Really, Joel....you're an embarrasment.

4. "You're Number 7" In the press conference yesterday he admitted that Jerry Kill wasn't his first choice.  What a complete imbecile.  Where was the PR guy when we needed him?  FYI Joel, don't introduce a guy with a backhanded compliment....much less just a backhand.

3. "I'm not talking" During the recent coaching search....Joel declared he was going to hire a Search Firm and keep the hiring process very private.  Joel loves to see himself on TV, hear himself on the radio and see his name in print.  Can you blame him? He's from Chisholm where they just got a printing press. In the 51 day search, we heard more Joel quotes than we care to ever hear. Hint: see number 1 for the most damaging.

2. "Cast a wide net" Late in the search, Joel in one of his many media appearances said, "we cast a wide net, and we just kept coming back to Jerry Kill." What he fails to say in this preposterous statement was, "we offered the job to just about everyone else and they wouldn't take it because I was the AD.  The net was really wide, but we also ignored the 1,000+  pleas to hire Mike Leach the job because I was born with a vagina..." He goes on but I'm running out of space.

1. "Tubby Hire" On October 17, Joel makes the critical statement about the hire....."we want to make a Tubby Smith type hire....here at Minnesota".  He even commits more HR errors than Austin Powers by telling the media how much he's willing to pay!!!!!!!  Oops Joel, you forgot to mention the Tubby hire was less of a hire and more of a get out of jail card for Smith at Kentucky.  Joel had as much to do with Tubby coming here as I did with the 5 inches of snow we got last Saturday.

As I said earlier in the post, I LIKE THE JERRY KILL HIRE.  I just don't think we needed 51 days, 5 to 10 job offers to people who weren't ever going to accept the job, and even worse several "I can't believe this guy still has a job" media appearances by Joel Maturi.

Go Gophers.

3 reasons to cheer against Auburn

Before I start, what is Auburn anyway? Who names their school after a hair color? Although.......auburn colored hair is similar to Auburn Football - it looks pretty good but you need to spend a ton to maintain it!

Auburn is #2 in the country, they have a fantastic quarterback, some impressive wins, and a legitimate shot at the BCS Championship game. All disturbingly true.  However, you don't have to peal back the onion very deep to find reasons to cheer against them the next few weeks.

Reason 1: Watch this video...it serves as a great reminder that college football coaching hires can be very misleading See Video. Wonder if that guy still feels the same today about Gene Chizik...lol?

Reason 2: It will be proven Cam Newton received financial benefit to play at their school.  Remember, Cam Newton turned down  6 figure money from Mississippi State to get a "free" education at Auburn (wink, wink).  Sorry Cam, this type of "free education" will eventually make you ineligible, which will eventually make you give back the Heisman Trophy and that cool National Championship trophy.

Reason 3: Good teams like LSU, Boise, TCU, Wisconsin, Ohio State and Nebraska won't get a chance to prove they are worthy because Auburn is going to make a run for it despite fully knowing this run will most likely be foiled by the NCAA.  Assuming they beat Alabama, Auburn playing in the title game will be about as valid as Milli Vanilli's 1990 Grammy Award.

College football is a great game.  Too bad this great season has to be ruined by a school who wants it's day in the sun, despite knowing full well all of it's glory will eventually be taken away.

Go Bama, Go Carolina....we want to see the guy from the video one more time ("Booo Chizik....anyone except Chizik" "5 and 19, booooo")!!!

-Z

How the mighty have fallen in College Football

I was born in 1967.  My college football landscape includes some great moments, memories, and rivalries.  On Sunday morning I woke up....and now my football front yard looks like a low budget Edward Scissorhands' project. It's a disaster.  Things you could count on (Bobby Bowden grimacing at a wide right or Notre Dame coming from behind for a lucky last minute win) cannot be found anywhere.   Here are just a few glimpses of what has become the new College Football:

Texas lost to Baylor at home. My neighbor Jeff T. is on suicide watch (can you imagine cheering for your team in the BCS Title game and then 10 months later watching them lose to Iowa State and Baylor at home in successive weeks?) And, Texas A&M is so bad that the only way the Texas/Texas A&M game makes national TV is if one of the A&M cadets builds a collapsable bonfire.

Miami lost to Virginia.  Yes, in football, not Lacrosse or being stuck up.

Florida State fumbled away a win at NC State on Thursday night.  NC State use to be a stats game for FSU.  What happened here people, what happened?

Michigan continues to tackle like a Big East team (optional in that league) and has lost 3 games.  I remember the days when the only game they might lose was Notre Dame or Ohio State.  They have sunk (or stunk for that matter) to a new low. Can someone please remind Rich Rodriguez that going 0 for rival gets you fired....even at Minnesota!

But my all time favorite came when Notre Dame, who scheduled Tulsa for what was suppose to be a mercy win, lost in about the worst way a team could lose.  First, the fact that Tulsa played them close was a loss on it's own.  Then when ND drove to the the Tulsa 18 yard line with :40 left and 1 timeout, they decided to throw a pass (why???????) and yep, you guessed it, picked off, game over.  Brian Kelly = Hot Seat.

This is just a short list of Mighties.  How about Colorado, Tennessee, USC, Penn State, Georgia, Washington (got beat by 40 by Stanford on Saturday), and UCLA?  These teams have no shot of smelling New Year's day much less the Top 25!!!!

Who replaced them is even more depressing...Boise State, TCU, Oregon, Utah, and Wisconsin/Iowa.

Of the 10+ programs I mention, I only see Texas as the one who can get back to prominence fast (see "Texas Saved College Football" blog for why). The one I see farthest away is Colorado (no recruiting base, new large conference, no extra money to spend on a coach).  They could make their own conference, call it the "We use to be 12"...They would have full stadiums, a great TV network, some great rivalries already in place.  The beauty is one of these slug programs would still have a better shot at a BCS title than Boise or TCU (check back for my next Blog, "Why the non-BCS resembles Negro League Baseball")

No matter what, they have some work to do, or else Wake Forest or SMU might come calling (don't laugh, Boise State was a 1-AA not long ago my friends).

-Z

Gopher Fans....it's 3rd Down!

The 5 most feared words in sports.  Well at least for me it is.

This is usually the play that the opposition makes a devastating play against my beloved alma mater.  It's also one of many lame sayings our PA announcer belts out prior to that play (the worst being, "that's another Golden Gopher....First Down!!").  Almost like a bad rash or a sudden case of the mouth throw ups, I hate these 5 words.  Note: we play Ohio State this weekend on National TV, they may not face 3rd down until they take a knee in the 4th quarter.

Well Gopher Fans, it's 3rd Down for our football program and really long right now.

Here's why:

The current head coach of the program, Joel Maturi, is about as in touch with college sports as Mr. Drummond was with his new son's Arnold and Willlis on Different Strokes (What you talkin 'bout Willis?)!

Just like being in a 3rd and long situation...Gopher Athletics' needs a lucky play or even better a cheapie pass interference call (see Tubby Smith Hire) to make up for some dismal circumstances. But before we hire the coach, let's make sure our house is clean before we start inviting people over.

1. Radio Crew - please fire Dave Lee, Dave Mona, Darrell Thompson and anyone besides Ray Christensen who has been involved over the last 20 years.  Hire a real radio announcer, not a guy who shills bread and funeral chapels every morning and wouldn't know a 5 star recruit from a 5 pound bag of Bushel Barrel Tomatoes.  Sorry Darrell and Dave Mona to lump you in, but this is a clear throw the baby out with the bathwater moment.

2.  PA Guy - please fire him and get rid of all of his lame "traditions". Just like the radio guy...hire a pro, not a hack.  Go to a college game and note what the characteristics of what other schools do well and make up your own, rather than try to copy what everyone else is doing.

3. Game Day Experience - Our in-stadium experience strikes me as "let's try some lame stuff until something works..."  Well nothing has worked.  It is some of the hokiest attempts at humor and copying of other traditions in one spot you will ever find.  Please just one original thought...one, please!!!!!!!!

Most are probably thinking, "hey Z, you wanna fire the radio announcer, the PA guy, and develop some in-game atmosphere at the stadium...aren't you ignoring the white elephant in the room...Joel Maturi?"

Not ignoring that at all, but realistically we have 3 weeks to hire a coach before another program like Michigan, ASU, Maryland, Texas A&M, Colorado, etc gets an itchy trigger finger, fires their coach and hires who we want.  So no, we can't fire Mr. Drummond.......yet.

Here is my Realistic Top 5 (provided to you because the local pro-biased, my buddy-biased media has no true insight who is a viable candidate).  I'd take any of these guys in a heartbeat:

1. Mike Belotti - The architect behind the current Oregon success..enough said.
2. Gary Patterson - was interested 4 years ago post haste, straight shooter, will never get a chance at BCS Title at TCU (nor will Boise when push comes to shove).
3. Al Golden - Temple head coach, great recruiter, young, defensive minded, Penn State background
4. Dan Mullen - Mississippi State coach, former Florida Coordinator...has MSU back on the map in his second year
5. Troy Calhoun - Air Force head coach, young, has all the tools to be the next best coach in College Football.

Not Realistic Top 3:

Mike Leach - I'd take him, but Mr. Drummond is way too squeaky to hire a guy who has problems with authority...
Jim Harbaugh - LOL, no chance
Chris Peterson - Boise, no chance (he turned down Tennessee)!

Sleepers:

Gary Pinkel - Missouri Coach
Mike Stoops - Arizona Coach
Randy Shannon - Miami Coach

Don't make me swear Top 5:

Dan McCarney
Kevin Sumlin
Paul Chryst
Marc Trestman
Glen Mason

Did I leave any stone un-turned?

The Youth Hockey Conundrum

This blog entry is directed mostly at my local youth hockey-niks...but if you live in Indiana (insert basketball) or if you live in Hawaii (insert surfing).

So, the other day I'm talking to a buddy who is an active board member at Minnesota Hockey (the governing body of association hockey which is affiliated directly with USA Hockey).  As we were agreeing on just about everything that is right and wrong with youth hockey today...he gave me an incredible statistic he just discovered.

MNH surveyed the 2,000 parents whose kids played hockey last year and did not sign up again this year. My gut reaction was the parents would play the "economy" card.  Fees for hockey can be close to $1,000 per year in the early years to up to $5,000 or more in years afterward.

Of the hundreds of replies received, only ONE replied that it was too expensive.  That's a huge "wow" all by itself...but there's more. The other set of responses were categorized into two even batches:

1. Too Much Time: The first was that the amount of time that was required (3 days week in the early years to just 1-3 days off per month in the later years).  The time commitment is huge and the early morning ice is especially painful.  Most season's start light in September/October -- and go heavy from November to March (that's 6 months - not counting pre and post season clinics, AAA season, off season dryland and hockey camp).

2. Not Enough: In the early years (5-8 years old) it is common to have hockey on the weekends and once during the week.  By 7 or 8, some parents (and presumably some kids, haha) want more than what their local association offers.  Because of demand, there are For Profit entities happy to take these parent's money and charge them for 4-5 days a week, intense training, and adult styled games.

The conundrum is this:

Where is the happy medium to attract people to the fastest sport on earth? Is it against the law to want to just play recreationally (i.e. down at the park)? It is also not against the law to play as much as the kid/parent wants.

Commentary:

A heavy, heavy, heavy majority of the people fall in the middle. They want their kid to play hockey, play hockey with their friends, take part in a great (Minnesota) tradition.  The problem lies with the people who lose this perspective...their agenda is to get their kid ahead of the pack at all cost even at the expense of friendships (including their neighbors).  These people will move their families to the right zip code to get their kid on the right team, they will travel 2,000 miles to play in a game not as good as one in their own backyard....doing all of this with people they barely know and live nowhere near.  All in the quest to get ahead or to say "Billy played in the Edmonton last Summer for the Pink Lady AAA Super Select Elite Ass Kickers!"

Herb Brooks said it best to his 1980 Olympic team, "...you were born to be a player, you were meant to be here..." If your kid was meant to be a player, let him play. But if your kid doesn't want to go to hockey on July 11th because it's 80 degrees and sunny and he'd rather climb a tree, then take a look in the mirror and remember whose sport it is and let him climb the tree.

The highs and lows of coaching youth football

The Highs: teaching kids to love a game (any game not just football), running plays with success that you practice over and over, celebrating when you win, teaching when you lose, watching kids learn to block and tackle, pre-playoff parties, winning close games, losing close games, post season parties....but the biggest high is when all of your kids show up the next season to play again because you, the other coaches and parents were responsible for those kids having a great experience.

The Lows: playing a team from Prior Lake that yelled at their kids any time they gave up +5 yards, yelled at the refs for every penalty under the sun "holding" "pass interference" "movement" "horse collar" "block in the back"...but the low hit rock bottom when they tried the "wrong ball" trick play (snuffed) and the wide receiver from the sideline trick play (you know, where the kid lines up 1" from the sidelines next to his whole team and then runs a fly pattern...nice one)... by the end of the game I felt sorry for them.

Commentary:  You only have 60-90 minutes of practice, spend it teaching kids how to block and tackle, teach them how to execute 10 simple plays (dive, off tackle, sweep, counter, reverse, and some forms of misdirection)....spending it on the Wrong Ball play so you can go up to your buddy at the water cooler and brag how you fleeced a bunch of 10 year olds on an illegal play is about as cool as a fanny pack or even worse socks and sandals!

Editor's Note: 0-0 tie (had 2 TD's called back...not one word out of my mouth except "who was it on").

Dear Joel

An open letter to University of Minnesota Athletics Director, Joel Maturi.

Dear Joel:

No offense to J Robinson...but the only thing we are good at is Wrestling....and I hate Wrestling. For that matter, I hate Indoor Track, Cross Country, Women's Soccer, Gymnastics, and Swimming (and anything else that is not televised and costs the AD money). You know why they aren't televised? Because nobody cares.

It's time to make some hard decisions within the AD. Here a few tough decisions that need to be made:

1. New Football Coach - start the planning now
2. New Football Coach - start the planning now (in case you missed #1 I put it as number 2)
3. New Hockey Coach - see above
4. Remove 8 sports from the payroll (Texas has 18, we have 25...why? Because they are good at those sports).
5. Focus on Football - in case you missed it, Nebraska is joining the B10 (and we play them every year) - they have an 85K seat FB stadium that is filled every Saturday. Have you been to Nebraska before? If you haven't, you haven't missed much, except on Saturday's in the Fall. Read between the lines Joel, FB pays the bills.

When you kill the other sports...just plug your ears. The whining will eventually stop from all 117 who care about the Men's Tennis and the Spirit Squads.

I'm sorry but, the "Hey, we are in the B10, this is awesome we don't have to lift a finger because the bowls and the BTN pay for everything!" attitude just sucks.

We need proven coaches, with proven winning experience here ASAP (Harbaugh/Golden = winner, Blais, or any Serratorre = winner)...and if you have to make a difficult decision or two to get that done, then get to it.

Or we'll find someone who can.

Sincerely,

Tony Zosel

Biggest Jerk in Sports?

Okay, this one has been brewing for a long time. It just seems lately that the jerks are greatly outweighing the dudes. First of all, the number one rule in "Journalism" is if it bleeds it reads (i.e. the worse the news the better).

However, a good guy like Tom Lehman raising nearly 1 million dollars for Cancer Research is still front page to me (sorry, Lehman is just a good guy). Or athletes, associations, friends of friends going out of their way to help a buddy of mine's son who recently passed is front page. But no, those guys never get the pub, the jerks are so bad these days that the good guys are getting squeezed.

Here's a list of some, please add to it:

1. Lebron James. That one is a layup (sorry bad pun). Here's a quote a buddy of mine sent me from the guy playing on Dwayne Wade's Miami Heat, "I love our fans. Cleveland fans are awesome," he told GQ. "But I mean, even my family gets spoiled at times watching me doing things that I do, on and off the court."


2. Tiger Woods. This one was a gimme (sticking with the bad sports puns). He hasn't won since High School Musical 3 came out and now he's picking on reporters (probably picking them up, too). Recently at the PGA, a reporter described him as playing poorly prior to his question. Tiger's response, "I'm playing poorly, but I'd still kick your butt." That's great Eldrick you can now beat the golf writer for San Jose Mercury in a $5 Nassau. Maybe you can save that money and get a new coach, one that will actually inform you that you didn't win a major this year.


3. Brett Favre. Sorry no FB analogy here. I'm a Viking fan and I hope to cheer them to the Super Bowl, but c'mon enough with the drama. 1% of me hopes the year is a disaster to really show us what a jerk he is....and the other 99 wants to go to the Super Bowl.

4. Lane Kiffin. To single out one Division 1 football coach is difficult. Each has an ego the size of Serena Williams' booty, but this guy is unbelievable. It just seems wherever this guy goes, people end up hating him within a year. I doubt if he lasts more than 3 at USC. And to think I wanted him at the U.


5. Donald Fehr. It seems I can't write a post without bashing either him, Scott Boras or Hank Steinbrenner. Sorry Donnie, its your turn you filthy piece of Favre.

Texas saves college football

I'm still not perfectly clear on what just happened to the college football landscape, other than I know that Texas just made a lot of schools really happy, including themselves. But here's what I'm hearing so far but am still a little unclear:

1. Texas can and will build their own TV network and doesn't have to share a penny of it with anyone?

2. Texas will receive 25% of the Big 12 TV package, the other 9 schools share the other 75%...this one can't be right...can it?

3. The Big 12 is now the Big 10 because they can't afford to add any other school because Texas will bolt because their 25% will be smaller....right?

If the above is true..the conference should be re-named Texas and it's 9 Bitches - T9 for short (sorry, profanity necessary here to drive home the point)....or Texas Hold'em (cuz Texas is holdin' all the cards here baby).

I do realize that without this deal, the Big 12 goes away. If there is no more movement, how stupid does Missouri look..they basically begged their way into the Big 10 and lost?!!!!!! What most don't realize is these moves were done with eyeballs and fan loyalty on the line, not boundaries, tradition, rivalry or much less common sense. Nebraska has a rabid national fan base for football (Jim Delaney, B10 commissioner likes that)...Missouri, Iowa State, Pittsburgh fit the Big 10 (natural rivals in conference, proximity, tradition and great academics)...sorry, your football tradition doesn't attract the type of person who would demand BTN from their cable company like an NU fan. Bottom line, that's all that matters to JD. Heck, if Fairbanks Roofing, Siding, and Construction College in Alaska had what Nebraska has JD would snap 'em up in a hurry.

Teams Happiest:

Texas, Notre Dame (they can stay status quo without being forced into the Big Ten) Kansas (top 5 BB program spared)

Teams Happy:

Kansas State & Iowa State(these schools had nothing to offer and a ton to lose)

Team Happy this is over:

Texas Tech (some say they were in a Texas package some say they weren't...OMG I can't imagine the sweatin' their fan base was doing).

Teams Indifferent:

OK, OKSU, and Texas A&M (most likely would have gone east or west with Texas)

Teams looking foolish:

Missouri, B12 Commissioner's office

Don't do this or I'll write a blog about you

In the past week or so, I've noticed some juicy instances of bad behavior in the sports world.

1. Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup, Philadelphia Flyer fans boo as they hoist it. Really, Philly, are you that bitter?

2. Jake's baseball team is playing Cottage Grove last weekend (btw, is anyone from Cottage Grove, MN?)...the whole game their team is imitating a girls softball team with cheerleading like cheers. With the game out of reach (in their favor) a kid hits a nice gapper for a double knocking in a few more meaningless runs. The cheer this time was a drumroll sounding noise from one kid followed by the whole team shouting, "oh, myyyyyyyyy!" I need to remind the readers their coach was 6 feet away fully capable of putting a sock in it.

3. Brian Ching, a well establish Striker in the US was the last player cut from the US National World Cup team was greeted by opposing LA Galaxy fans "US Reject". That's a new one, thanks LA for entering the "we wanna be like Philly" contest.

4. Watching the Fullerton Regional in the NCAAs this past week..the home Team CSF flipping bat after bat in celebration of their home runs. CSF Baseball just made my "list" of teams to cheer against (see Notre Dame football, UND Hockey, Duke basketball, etc).

Youth Sports Coaching Quandary

Set the scene: I coach my son's 10 year old traveling baseball team (traveling is code for competitive). Last weekend I faced both sides of the coaching quandary in less than a 24 hour span. What is the coaching quandary, you say? It's the fine line between "having fun" and "win at all costs". Every youth coach faces it at least once a season. In my case, I saw both sides in a very short span.

Scene 1: We're playing a completely overmatched Eden Prairie team (man, the 4 words overmatched, eden, prairie and team sound so nice together by the way) last Friday. Prior to the game, the other team's coach is giving a speech to the kids about having "fun" (which is code in sports for make sure you smile when you get beat), blah, blah, blah.

Scene 2: Next day we are playing an undefeated team from Minneapolis (note: our Bloomington team is .500). These guys are hitting our best pitcher all over the park, they are running the bases with reckless abandon, delayed double steals, etc all with a comfortable 10 run lead. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

So which is it? Do you preach "let's have fun" or do you preach "beat them until they bleed"? Obviously it is somewhere in between. As a coach in scene 1, we did everything in our power to make the game enjoyable for our kids as well as theirs without running roughshod over them. In scene 2, we did everything in our power to tell the kids.."the best way to stop that play is to defend it" and maintain your dignity while the other team is rubbing your face in it. Plain as day the other team whipped us, we gotta get better.

You guys got any food for thought?

My new favorite team

Montreal Canadiens....holy smokes they beat the Caps, now they beat the Pens. I'm sure they are scratching their names on Lord Stanley as we speak in Montreal.

I can just hear some scratchy voiced rube on Montreal sports talk radio (insert Jacque Lemaire voice)...itz onlee a maddir of time beefore we win anudder one....geux habs!

I'm heartbroken on the Pens defeat...was cheering for Gologoski and Leopold, but still holding a grudge against Sid for the Olympics.

What's left:

San Jose: Nope (nice team....they have 2 too many ex Badgers to like them)

Chicago: Nope (I still see Al Secord when I see that sweater)

Philly & Philly : Nope (no reason, their teams just don't have that star)

Normally I don't cheer for the Frogs, but if you beat the 2 best teams in the East you deserve a little love.

What Happened to the Baltimore Orioles?

Pitching, Defense and the 3 run homer...that was the theme for the Baltimore Orioles of the 70's and 80's. A gritty team that always found its way into the thick of it every year. Then in 1992, they built the first of many great ballparks in America (Camden Yards) and had some more success through the 90's.

To me the Orioles were a team you wanted to cheer for:

They played in a town sandwiched in between DC & Philly (and to a lesser degree NYC) and for the longest time only had the Orioles to cheer for.

Their packaging was always really good (good uniforms, nice stadium, great fan base, players you wanted to cheer for...Brooks Robinson, Ken Singleton, Jim Palmer, Cal Ripken, and Eddie Murray).

They played in the AL East vs. the Yankees and Red Sox and always seemed to compete. From 1967 to 1986 they never had a losing record (as a Twins fan in that era I believe I saw 4 winning seasons).

Their fans are remarkable. I've been to 4 O's games and I left each of them shaking my head at how good their fans are. On one occasion they gave Ken Griffey, Jr. a standing ovation (he hit 3 dingers, and while rounding third on the last one the fans stood to applaud the effort).

The O's haven't made the playoffs since Clinton was in office (and they have as much chance of making them this year as a Clinton making the oval office ever again).

Are there other Baltimore Orioles out there (don't confuse the O's with a dynasty, I'd say they were just a consistent winner for a long time and now have fallen on hard times)?

If so, I'd love to hear them.

Retraction

I retract any and all remarks I made about the Gopher BB team in my last post. They manned up and won games they weren't supposed to. Go Gophers, beat Xavier.

Let me be the first to reiterate...."Fire Don Lucia." His time has come. Repeat, our team should never be on the road in the first round of the WCHA playoffs, ever. We've been on the road 2 of the last 3 years.

Jake Zosel turns 10

My son Jake turns 10 today. Thought I'd write out a quick list of his top 10 sports/athletic moments:

10. Shooting hoops on the mini hoop at 18 months (every night after work)....Dad made him a little 3 point line. By age 2 he had mastered the crowd noise (haaaaaaaaaaaa).

9. Swimming lessons at Foss/Chanhassen. Most times Jake couldn't resist that warm pool. With no formal training Jake would just run and jump in, forcing Dad to frantically jump in after him.

8. Swimming at LTF at a very young age, Dad gets Jake dressed first (as any good parent would do) and then proceeds to "run away" from Dad (while Dad hastily getting dressed) into the health club all alone!!!!!

7. After an entire Summer of trying, Jake finally hits the wiffle ball over the Brown Monsta in our back yard at age 3.

6. Jake plays on his first hockey team at age 4...he falls asleep on the way to the rink every time.

5. As a kindergartner, Jake plays on a 1st and 2nd grade baseball team that goes to the City Championship at Kent Hrbek Field.

4. 2 year later, despite losing big in the City Championship Game, Jake hits a loooooooooooooooong home run ball...if it weren't for the fence that ball still might be rolling.

3. Jake scores the winning goal in the final game of the Bloomington Jamboree versus Kennedy.

2. The only 9 year old selected to the August Classic Baseball team, Jake's team wins 1st place!

1. Jake has 3 long TD catches in one half versus the other undefeated team en route to a 37-0 victory.

Winter Musings

For those of you who ever followed Sid Hartman's column, my Winter Musings is my attempt at his Jottings.

1. Winter Ice: This has been the greatest outdoor ice season in my memory. Granted, we've had a couple 3 day cold snaps and a few major snow dumpings...but for the most part since mid December its been in the 20's with very low wind. Nothing better than skating outside. The sounds, the smells, the runny noses, the cold toes, the rosey cheeks, the wet gloves...man nothing better. For my friends in warmer climates...eat your hearts out.

2. Pennant Fever: Somebody throw me into a snowbank, I got Pennant Fever. Pitchers and Catchers report...the Twins have live arms, 2 MVP's, and a great supporting cast to a decent team from last year. If the Twins win the Central....this is their year to put up a fight in the ALDS. No more Bye Week for the Yankees, Red Sox, or Angels.

3. Carrot Top: Since when did Carrot Top become such a great Snow Boarder? He's a much better athlete than comedian.

4a. Gophers: Can the Gopher sports programs get any lower. Going into this Fall, we had a new stadium for football, a returning NCAA basketball team that had 10 returning players and a top 10 recruiting class. Can you spell NIT? Oops, I'm sure most of you can...but not so sure about Al Nolen. Hockey? See 4b.

4b. Will a first round loss in the WCHA playoffs cost Don Lucia his job? IT BETTER. No matter the excuse....a state dripping with NHL prospects, NHL alums, National Championships should never be on the road for the WCHA playoffs.

5. Which American hockey team will show up during the Olympics? The Nagano troublemaking/ whiners? The Lake Placid Miracles? Or the WE'RENOTTHATGOODABRONZEWOULDBEAWESOME's?

6. Favorite Winter Olympic Sport: Ski Jumping. Has anyone ever seen that jump over near Hyland in Bloomington? Just looking at that thing loosens my bowel!

7. Derby: Only 71 days until the Kentucky Derby.

8. Golf: Approximately 70 days until I make my first double bogey!

9. Tiger Rant: Speaking of double bogeys, does anyone really care what Tiger Woods is going to say on Friday? Really, Tiger? The last thing "the people" want to see is a contrived press conference where you control the questions. All they want to see is your facial reconstruction, after that they will probably have the TV set to MUTE and wait for the sound bite. Sorry dude, that's how it works. No one really cares about you and your "situation". And one more thing, if you say you're playing in the Masters this year....I'll be sure not to laugh. No one in the world expected you to miss the Masters.

10. Peyton: Hey Peyton Manning -- I could care less if you shake hands with the other team 25 minutes after you threw the most famous Super Bowl PICK 6 since Willie Brown housed one on the Vikes in Super Bowl XI. If it were NFL protocol or tradition to shake hands after the game (ala the NHL), then sure you're a baby. But the NFL doesn't do that, so you have nothing to apologize for. This country apologizes way too much.

Sorry if this blog was too short (or too long). Sorry if it offended you. Sorry if I made fun of someone. Sorry if, Sorry if, Sorry if, Sorry if....

What Happened to the Dynasty?

My sports personality was formed in the 70's and 80's. Those two decades will be remembered for bad uniforms and really good teams. Here are just a few:

Hockey: Canadiens (76-79), Islanders (80-84) and Oilers (84-90)

Football: Cowboys, Steelers, and Niners

Baseball: The Big Red Machine

Pro Hoops: Lakers and Celtics

College Hoops: UCLA

College FB: N/A

Since 1990, the only dynasty that comes to mind are the Chicago Bulls and Tiger Woods.

Here's my theory why:

GREED (and Boredom)

No Coaches: Bear Bryant coached Alabama for like 30 years and he won National Championships galore. He was probably the richest guy (and most well known) in the whole state of Alabama. Do you think $8 million a year and being beloved by the state of Alabama will keep Nick Saban at Alabama? Doubt it. Eventually winning a couple national championships won't be enough and he'll move onto a higher paying higher profile pro job.....no dynasty for the Tide.

No Players: If a team wins a ton of games and a championship, even if they are the NYY, they still won't have the cash to keep all of their talent. The way professional sports leagues are set up with salary caps and free agency it is nearly impossible to assemble a dynasty. The Edmonton Oilers had assembled the greatest string of players, won championships with ease....one small problem, Peter Pocklington (the Oilers owner) went bankrupt in doing so. So what did he do? He sold his great asset to the LA Kings....Wayne Gretzky to save his own ____.

No Administration: Don't just blame the players and coaches. If you assemble a great team whether it be a great college or pro team, you will be in demand. If you are a pro sports GM and your team wins, you then get greedy and want to be president of the team (see Andy McPhail), which means you don't do anything except start every sentence with, "when I was in _______", and no one argues with you. Shoot sign me up for that job.

Potential Dynasties: The NYY have a legit shot...they have the players, the pitching, a pretty solid manager, and decent admin. The Lakers do to...great player (Kobe), great coach (Phil Jackson) and a respectable GM (Kupchak).

Renewed Dynasty: Some of the greatest men in history have fallen prey to the sword of a woman. Funny how he had it all: talent, administration (the best advisors in the world), coaching, passion, etc.....his greed was just shown in a different light. A recovered Tiger Woods will be scary. I can't wait see what he does now that he has been humbled....he may best Jack's 18 Majors faster than anyone would have ever predicted.

False Dynasties: 'bama....no chance (see above), Pittsburgh Penguins (no money to sustain see Oilers), NFL.....impossible, College Hoops.....impossible.

Am I missing anyone, any team? Or am I just missing it?

Editors Note (yeah, I'm big time now I have a guy who reads it before it goes out): Jimmie Johnson - NASCAR, Pete Sampras and Roger Federer - Tennis, and NYY in the mid 90's would all qualify (man, I hate the Yankees).