The 5 most feared words in sports. Well at least for me it is.
This is usually the play that the opposition makes a devastating play against my beloved alma mater. It's also one of many lame sayings our PA announcer belts out prior to that play (the worst being, "that's another Golden Gopher....First Down!!"). Almost like a bad rash or a sudden case of the mouth throw ups, I hate these 5 words. Note: we play Ohio State this weekend on National TV, they may not face 3rd down until they take a knee in the 4th quarter.
Well Gopher Fans, it's 3rd Down for our football program and really long right now.
Here's why:
The current head coach of the program, Joel Maturi, is about as in touch with college sports as Mr. Drummond was with his new son's Arnold and Willlis on Different Strokes (What you talkin 'bout Willis?)!
Just like being in a 3rd and long situation...Gopher Athletics' needs a lucky play or even better a cheapie pass interference call (see Tubby Smith Hire) to make up for some dismal circumstances. But before we hire the coach, let's make sure our house is clean before we start inviting people over.
1. Radio Crew - please fire Dave Lee, Dave Mona, Darrell Thompson and anyone besides Ray Christensen who has been involved over the last 20 years. Hire a real radio announcer, not a guy who shills bread and funeral chapels every morning and wouldn't know a 5 star recruit from a 5 pound bag of Bushel Barrel Tomatoes. Sorry Darrell and Dave Mona to lump you in, but this is a clear throw the baby out with the bathwater moment.
2. PA Guy - please fire him and get rid of all of his lame "traditions". Just like the radio guy...hire a pro, not a hack. Go to a college game and note what the characteristics of what other schools do well and make up your own, rather than try to copy what everyone else is doing.
3. Game Day Experience - Our in-stadium experience strikes me as "let's try some lame stuff until something works..." Well nothing has worked. It is some of the hokiest attempts at humor and copying of other traditions in one spot you will ever find. Please just one original thought...one, please!!!!!!!!
Most are probably thinking, "hey Z, you wanna fire the radio announcer, the PA guy, and develop some in-game atmosphere at the stadium...aren't you ignoring the white elephant in the room...Joel Maturi?"
Not ignoring that at all, but realistically we have 3 weeks to hire a coach before another program like Michigan, ASU, Maryland, Texas A&M, Colorado, etc gets an itchy trigger finger, fires their coach and hires who we want. So no, we can't fire Mr. Drummond.......yet.
Here is my Realistic Top 5 (provided to you because the local pro-biased, my buddy-biased media has no true insight who is a viable candidate). I'd take any of these guys in a heartbeat:
1. Mike Belotti - The architect behind the current Oregon success..enough said.
2. Gary Patterson - was interested 4 years ago post haste, straight shooter, will never get a chance at BCS Title at TCU (nor will Boise when push comes to shove).
3. Al Golden - Temple head coach, great recruiter, young, defensive minded, Penn State background
4. Dan Mullen - Mississippi State coach, former Florida Coordinator...has MSU back on the map in his second year
5. Troy Calhoun - Air Force head coach, young, has all the tools to be the next best coach in College Football.
Not Realistic Top 3:
Mike Leach - I'd take him, but Mr. Drummond is way too squeaky to hire a guy who has problems with authority...
Jim Harbaugh - LOL, no chance
Chris Peterson - Boise, no chance (he turned down Tennessee)!
Sleepers:
Gary Pinkel - Missouri Coach
Mike Stoops - Arizona Coach
Randy Shannon - Miami Coach
Don't make me swear Top 5:
Dan McCarney
Kevin Sumlin
Paul Chryst
Marc Trestman
Glen Mason
Did I leave any stone un-turned?
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9 comments:
I still think after all is said and we lose out on all the top guys, that Dungy will be the guy. Yeah, Yeah, he said he was not interested. But how may coaches say I'm not interested and then change their mind. I say in a last ditch effort, Mr. Drummond gives TD a blank check and TD accepts and the Z man will be a happy camper. Of course I thought my kid was going to make the "A" team and we know that didn't happen.
You would need to explain more clearly how the gopher job would be better than the jobs that your following candidates have:
TCU
Mizzou
Zona
Miami
and even maybe Miss St
Unless I am missing something of course??
CMonty
Kurt,
Never gonna happen
Carl,
I don't think that MN is better than their current jobs...just saying that for reasons below, plus more money makes our job attractive
TCU - never has a chance for BCS
Mizzou - Pinkel wants out of Big 12 (even though they only have 10 teams)...wants into Big 10
Zona - see Pinkel...$$$
Miami - if this book deal hits like they say it will, he won't have a job (I'm not interested in this guy at all)
From E Man
Funny stuff man, thanks e
Bill Z says:
Like I said before - Belotti's my guy and he can take both Brewster's job and Maturi's job.
Scott S says:
Thanks for the shout to a&m in your blog.
Btw, Sumlin is a stud and is going to be a big time head coach. Not to stereo-type but he is a Mike Tomlin type.
Peter J says:
Don't LOL too quickly at Harbaugh. I have it on good authority that he is anxious to get back to the Big 10 (or is that 11, I mean 12?) and was none too pleased he didn't get any consideration for the Michigan job. He would love to get back to the Midwest and stick it to his alma mater. We can only hope that somebody can write a check while Maturi and Bruininks have their air-filled heads turned.
What about Kyle Whittingham?
what about Kyle Whittingham?
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