Note: Youth Hockey in Minnesota is a disease and the author has some of the classic symptoms (dry mouth at the sight of a youth game, nausea at the thought of missing a game, chronic irritable bowel syndrome during a practice or game).
Was at the rink this week and ran into an old sage of a youth hockey coach. This guy has successfully coached in the same system for 20+ years and still enjoys it. If I weren't so wordy, that might be a good blog post in and of itself. While he and I see eye-to-eye on a ton of topics...he and I are two totally different beasts. He is a non-parent volunteer...I'm a hockey dad.
For the record, non-parent volunteers can see the landscape a lot clearer than any hockey dad...no matter how smart the hockey dad thinks he is, he usually only sees things through the lens of his child/children.
So while talking over the many issues related to youth hockey (and youth sports for that matter), the old sage said the magic words (almost like an knife right through my heart), "You know Z, a parent can't want success on the ice more than their kid....it just can't happen, no matter how hard you try."
Me? Wanting my kids success more than they do. No way, that's not me. I deny that all day long...as does just about every parent.
As I prepared for this blog (prep = culling through the refrigerator looking for that lost piece of chocolate cake), I discovered there are 3 types of hockey dads.
1. That Guy - you know the guy who stuffs his kid into every possible sheet of ice, all star team, camp, etc and talks about it 365/24/7...and isn't one bit shy about telling you how great his kid is, what AAA team they play for, etc.....heck some of the That Guys wear the AAA jacket of their kid's team and they don't coach the team...but they are just bursting with pride that Johnny/Jenny plays for these teams.
2. I Don't Care Guy - the guy who does just about the same stuff as "That Guy"-- lotsa hockey, lotsa training, and lotsa talk. The difference between "I Don't Care Guy" and "That Guy" is his kid probably isn't that good (yet)....so he uses the always famous line, "I don't care how good Johnny/Jenny is, just as long as they are having fun...."
3. No Clue Guy - Here is the guy who never played, he's never engaged in the "how good a kid" is conversation...generally doesn't hang out with the other dads...and as a rule their kids aren't that good or their kid doesn't really care how good he is at age 10.
Numbers 1 and 3 add up to about 10 percent of hockey parents...which puts most parents in the "I Don't Care" category (me included).
So as of today and maybe tomorrow...I vow to be more like #3: when I act like I don't care, I will mean it...when the "how good a kid is" conversation appears, I will run faster than Lumpy Rutherford did to a Buffet Line and most important, I'm gonna drop the act that I don't care. I do care if my kid is a good hockey play. Okay I said it.
But from now on...I will remember that the sport is still my son and daughters and I can't want it more than them and be happy.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
http://www.huronhockey.com/06110301.htm
What It’s All About: Saga of a Great Hockey Coach, Mr. Bob O’Connor
What about the "hockey Moms"?
Now there's a blog to consider! They're as nutty as the Dads in many cases.
How many types of hockey moms are there???
While I can't speak for hockey parents, I certainly can as a baseball coach for baseball parents, which combined with football here in the south, is probably tantamount to the hockey enthusiasm in the north country.
Personally, I think sports is just a very visible outlet of our child's success, and we all want success for our child, whatever they choose to do. I'm in the "if you choose to do it, try to do it well" camp. The parents of the kids on the teams I coach are very popular when they focus on the positive reinforcement aspect...I think young kids don't do well with mistake-avoidance, negative reinforcement techniques.
Nice blog Tony. Hockey's about the closest thing I've seen to Hurling for speed, intensity and skill.
I used to be the #2 guy, but now I'm #3.
My son isn't very good at hockey and it took me a few years to realize that I wanted it WAY more than him.
This may sound strange, but I'm glad my son isn't a great athlete or good hockey player.
It's helped keep me grounded.
I'm very fortunate in that even though my kid isn't a great athlete he still really enjoys sports. He loves basketball, baseball and vollyball and really wants to play flag-football.
He always works his butt off when he's on the field too.
Plus, he's a great kid with a big heart.
So now, even though I coach him, I don't get worked up as much if he strikes out or misses a basket.
I just love watching him play.
Post a Comment