Daddy Ball

As a youth sports coach for years, both as a non-parent coach and parent coach, I've learned a lot about the human condition.  First, a volunteer non-parent coach is about the most loved, and most adored of all.

Nearly 20 years ago I coached my first youth sports team.  I had zero knowledge, zero training and a ton of swagger.  Probably the worst combination you could dream of for a youth sports coach.  But the one thing I didn't have that parents with more experience and less zeal, was a child on the team.

By season's end, no matter the sport, no matter the level...I'd be showered with praise, gifts and most of all appreciation.  During that tenure I coached the best of the best (future NFL, NHL, and college baseball players) and the worst of the worst (2-32, 4-20, and 0-11 teams with no hope).  It didn't matter how good or how bad the teams we were, the kids and parents really appreciated what me and my buddies brought to their community.

Often times, I would coach with another dad or better yet coach against another dad.  You could just see the look on the kid's faces when the dad coach would talk.  It didn't matter what city, suburb, ability level or sport -- most kids would check out when "Daddy" would talk.  I always remember thinking to myself "I'll be different, my kids teams will listen to me."

Well, that's a story for another day.  Let's just say that whenever Z talks now, they're checking out faster than a gay employee at Chick Fil A.

A couple years ago, a friend of mine and I developed a term for Dad coaches that sign up to coach in order to gain their child added favor on the team. The term is Daddy Ball. Daddy Ball usually starts when their child is 8 or 9.  The dad sees that little Johnny or Jenny is good, but if he coaches she may get even more playing time, touches, experience in that sport.  No matter how you slice it, the Daddy Ball clause comes into play when the coach shows event the slightest favor to their child that is not warranted.

I would get blisters typing examples that I have seen in my tenure as a Coach. None directly involving my children negatively. For the most part, my kids have been treated more than fair by Parent Coaches.

For fun I wrote a quick quiz on how to spot Daddy Ball from the stands.

Daddy Ball Quiz:  The following is a quiz to see if you can spot Daddy Ball in your association.

1. Youth Softball team has two pitchers pitching for a "B" team, both daughters of the coaches.  While other "B" teams are pitching 8-9 girls and this team pitches only 2.  Daddy Ball or Not Daddy Ball?

2. Best Player on the team is coaches kid.  Kid plays QB and Middle LB.  Team wins championship.  Kid scores winning TD.  Dad gives MVP trophy to a less deserving kid.  Daddy Ball or Not Daddy Ball?

3. Kid is upper half of talent pool on team.  Son plays SS, C and pitches way too long into games. Daddy Ball or Not Daddy Ball?

4. Dad is very hard on his kid - treats every other kid like fine China. Daddy Ball or Not Daddy Ball?

5. Dad uses daughter to show everyone how to do the drill in practice. Daddy Ball or Not Daddy Ball?

Okay, the quiz was not that hard.  Being involved in youth sports is fun.  It's fun for the kids and to some extent it can be a blast for the parents, too. The problem is some parents can only see through one lens and not the big picture.  The big picture is kids are there to play a game.  They know who the better kids are, they know who deserves to play where.  Parents should do whatever it takes to stay out of the way.  As a parent, do yourself a favor and look for a non-parent to coach your kids.  That person has no agenda but to let the kids play.  After a day or two of not getting to coach, the fun of watching Johnny or Jenny far outweighs the best Knute Rockne speech that no one is listening to.