So I'm watching Sports Center the other day on the treadmill and they show two Red Sox fans with homemade t-shirts with an asterisk on it. Cut to the visual with Barry Bonds stepping to the plate and I immediately chuckle. Who would have thought that the asterisk would be such a crushing blow in the sports world? Here are a few asterisks that should be both added and taken away:
* Houston Rockets (1994 & 1995) - these guys won titles when Jordan was playing baseball and wearing number 45. There are so many things wrong with those two titles. First of all, if Jordan's playing, NBC doesn't cut away to watch OJ drive down the 405...right? Second of all, who did they beat in '95? If you can't remember then they deserve an asterisk (just looked it up...Orlando...remember Little Penny)? This instance reminds me of that Eddie Murphy stand up bit, when Eddie said of Brooke Shields, "I don't know why they bother having the Miss America Pageant. Everybody knows Brooke Shields is the winner every year!" Same went for basketball without Jordan those two years.
* Cincinnati Reds 1981 - this team had the best record in baseball, but finished 2nd in both halves of the strike seasons and consequently missed the playoffs. This slip up ranks right up there with the tie in the All Star game...nice! Or worse, Mark McGwire and Rafeal Palmiero in front of a Congressional hearing. All black eyes, but just one asterisk for the Big Red Machine.
*Roger Maris - the guy hits 61 home runs, breaks Babe Ruth's long-standing record and MLB gives it an asterisk because he did it in more games. I never knew the Maris family up in Fargo also made the MLB schedule. That is one that I would vote to remove. The point is now obviously moot.
*The Trent Tucker Rule - I loved college basketball before the 35 second clock, when it had the perpetual 1 and 1 free-throws on non-shooting fouls (you get 2 shots now after 10 team fouls), and no three point arc. I remember as a kid just going crazy during any UNC game where UNC would get a 4+ point lead late in the game and the TV producer would scream "cut to Dean, cut to Dean" because you knew he would be holding up 4 fingers sending his team into the famed Dean Smith 4 corners. I hated UNC (still do), and that made me hate them even more when they did that. Anyway, back to asterisks. Guys like Trent Tucker, Lancaster Gordon at Louisville, Andrew Toney at SW Louisiana aka "the Boston Strangler", and Pete Maravich at LSU would have had so many more points it wouldn't have been funny. I mean Maravich averaged 44 a night for LSU without a stripe...are you telling me none of them came behind 19'9"? This would qualify as an asterisk needed.
* Boise State 2006 - Didn't they go undefeated last year? Please add asterisk to Florida National Championship. Florida won the National Championship for the big boys with all the money, but there are a few out there (and they don't live in, nor have they ever visited the state of Idaho) who think they were the best team in the entire NCAA last year. BSU was robbed...add asterisk please. In 1994 (pre BCS days), Penn State won the NY Times National Championship after finishing the season 12-0, but finishing #2 in virtually every poll. As of today, Boise State is the 2006 MW Sports Guy dot com presented by Multiply National Champs!
There's 5, please add to the list or tear apart mine.
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Here's a golf asterisk for you. Tiger's "record" of 142 cuts made, beating Byron Nelson's record of 113.
This record clearly needs an asterisk. I think Frank Hannigan formerly from the USGA says it best...
“It was not 142 cuts made, it was 111,” says former USGA president Frank Hannigan.
Hannigan states that the Tour’s policy of allowing a cut made when a player receives “official money” is way, way out of bounds.
“Every year Tiger plays in five tournaments in which there is no cut (Mercedes, Accenture Match Play, NEC Invitational American Express and Tour Championship), which any sane person understands to be the elimination of more than half the field after 36 holes of stroke play,” Hannigan states. “But there are four small-field stroke play events blessed by the Tour in which everybody who gets to play hangs around for all four rounds. There is no cut. Tiger’s record, the 142, counts those.”
Moreover, Hannigan states that the Tour runs an annual match-play competition, and guess what happened when Tiger lost in the first round? His streak was extended, because he received a check.
That leaves Tiger with 111 cuts made. Byron Nelson’s old record is 113. Tiger didn’t even break Byron’s old record.
Nice...I knew there was one out there...nice work, nice passion.
Asterisks on just about any professional sports venue's stated attendance. Unless you can't see any empty seats, you can bet the number is bloated. George Shinn, owner of the Charlotte/New Orleans/Oklahoma City/Sheboygan/Tupelo/Sioux Falls Hornets is the master at attendance inflation.
Big asterisk on Colorado's football national championship in 1990 (I believe). I seem to recall a game-winning score on the rarely-awarded "5th" down against Mizzou that season. Funny how Missouri always seems to end up on the wrong side of those calls. Remember the illegal end zone kicked ball by Nebraska that gave them a win a few years ago?
Asterisk on Bobby Bowden's D-1 leading 366 coaching victories. At least 20 of those came while coaching at Samford University in Birmingham, AL.
(1) Torii Hunter winning his 6th straight gold glove last season. Are you kidding me? I am sure there should be some sort of award for center-field larceny when you squad is down by 5 runs to some cellar-dweller in the middle of July and you do your best Dwight Stones impersonation to rob a dinger. But what about Game 2 versus the A's last season - if it was a meteor coming at him, his center-field dive still wouldn't of made contact.
(2) Ducks win the cup. Great lesson for kids - yes virginia, thuggery pays. 3 suspensions in 3 different series, and none of them harsh enough since Mister Blowhard himself - Brian Burke, is good buddies with Mr Campbell. Simon got 25 games during regular season, Scott Nichol got 9 on his first offense - and neither was as bad as what Pronger did to Holmstrom. But maybe the almighty NHL got confused - seeing as this was the 7th time in his NHL career that he had been suspended.
(3) Sid Hartman. The guy couldn't play dead in a war movie, but he still fills the airwaves with blah, blah and blah and somehow gets credited with being a *journalist. Any guy that could use Charlie Brown's teacher as his translator shouldn't be given a microphone.
(4) Roy Horn labled on a tv show last week as a magician. Yeah - if your trick is to make half of your OWN blood disappear while a 400 pound bengal tiger decides if you are the appetizer or the main course - then sure, lable yourself as an illusionist.
(5) The term, 'Sport Fishing'. Unless Sport Farting, Sport Napping, Sport Sneezing or Sport DayDreaming gets equal status - I say put one big fat boring asterisk on 'sport' fishing.
Great posts Matt, Tom and Pat (OKP).
We've uncovered more here than the Star Tribune has in the last 10 years.
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