As most of you know, I'm a die hard Gopher Football fan. Over the last umpteen years, they have just about found every possible way to tear my heart out. Because it is my blog, writing about the specifics of those games is strictly prohibited.
Here they sit at 7-1 (according to our biggest rivals, we haven't beaten anybody), and I can barely enjoy it. Why you ask?
Being a Gopher fan is kind of like being the Loser in Love...always the Bridesmaid, but never the Groom!!!! In my lifetime, we've barely been invited to a wedding, much less an invite to a wedding party.
Cal Stoll era - 1 bowl (probably a lot more in this era), a few big wins, some respectable All Americans.
Joe Salem era - 0 bowls, 1 big win (OSU), and a despicable loss (remember no mention of tough games here).
Lou Holtz era - .5 bowl, 1 big win (Iowa), Full Cupboard of players, Full Cupboard of NCAA Violations
John Gutenkunst era - 1.5 bowls, 1 big win (MI '86), 3 or 4 despicable losses, Cupboard Bare of players and a program bare of enthusiasm
JIm Wacker era - no comment
Glen Mason era - umpteen bowls, a few All Americans, umpteen wedding party invites, zero wedding dresses/tuxes, umpteen despicable losses.
At 7-1, all I can do is sit here and read what I just wrote and think this year has to end sour. Our past doesn't lie and the future schedule just looks way too good not to think this won't end different. Oddly enough, that makes this 7-1 run so far, almost as hard as the 1-11 run last year.
Here are 4 predictable outcomes for the worse and 1 for the good:
1. We lose Saturday and the "I-told-you-sos" come flying at me like the Alfred Hitchcock movie the "Birds".
2. We beat NW, then lose to Michigan. "You guys can't even beat Michigan when Michigan is at it's worst....you'll never be a conteda"
3. Somehow we beat NW and MI and we lose to Wisconsin at Camp Randall. "You finally played a real team, and you finally were exposed....see you at the Sun Bowl (thank God we don't play in the Sun Bowl anymore)." You see, most Gopher critics are so dumb that they don't even know the Big Ten Bowl Alliances.
4. We win 2 or (God forbid) all 3 of the next 3 and then lose to Iowa. The Gophers likely will get an updgraded bowl appearance (one that I will attend no matter the destination), but they will most likely be kept out of a New Year's Day Bowl. "See, the Gophers are just not NYD material."
The pain goes on.
Here is my 1 good scenario (and has 5-10% likelihood):
1. Gophers win out, Penn State wins out. Rose Bowl requests the owners of the Axe, Pig and Little Brown Jug to attend their Parade and Football game on NYD (one can only dream)!
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14 comments:
Insert Texas Tech at any mention of Minnesota, Red Raider instead of Golden Gopher. Omit "copper bowl"06 and I have the same storyline.
Great Blog!
That is so well written, and mirrors my exact feelings.
However, I have to turn it around
YA GOTTA BELIEVE TONY, YA GOTTA BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're so good, Tony....
Keep writing. I love your style.
That could have been the most sniveling, poor-me blog of yours, to-date.
Embrace this year for what it is - an overstatement of the improved talent base of the Gophers.
To those who say the squad hasn't really "played anyone"...........they have a point.
To those of you who now expect the Gophers to run the table one year removed from an abysmal 1-11 campaign? Put down the Big Gulp of Arne Carlson's Golden Kool-Aid.............and you may want to consider switching to plastic utensils.
So let's look at this stretch as a marked improvement objectively and hearken back to the words of the great 20th-Century philosopher & dirty-dancer, Patrick Swayze in "Next of Kin":
"You ain't seen bad yet, but it's comin'."
I agree with you - as Pat Reusse said the other day "This season is
bound to end like Thelma and Louise - with the Gophers careening over
the cliff and into the canyon"
Bill
Your setting this up...just let it happen....
Dude, just as you do not want to play in the Sun Bowl, I do not want to see Minnesota or Purdue ever again. That was a hell for locals just as it was for you. If you traveled better, you might not have had to go to El Paso.
Hey Tony - don't be such a DOWNER.
Great Season so far - enjoy it. There are a bunch of teams not having the success that our Gophers are right now. Don't be a fatalist all of a sudden, or you will be cast into the pit on the columnists. There will always be a percentage of people who try and find the lone cloud on a sunny day (some of those are named Ruesse, Souhan, etc...).
Since my email limits OUTGOING messages to 300mb, I won't be able to share all the Ruesse & Souhan stories that have catapulted them into the "undesirable" category around the various arenas. On a gameday, when Ruesse does attend a Wild game (which happened only 9 times in total in last 2 seasons) - here is where you could find him.
50% of the time - Putting a Jean Van Claude Dam type beating on the FREE media meal and FREE nachos/drinks on press level
33% of the time - Slouching in his press seat next to Sid Hartman
17% of the time - standing outside lockerroom by himself because the players/coaches/and media relations at Wild HATE him
So see Tony, don't turn out like a Ruesse.
Unless of course your goal is to spend a LOT of time by yourself.
Or if you really really LIKE nachos,
patO
7-1 is 7-1. Don't worry about tomorrow, it will be here soon enough.
Z - I hate to pile on, but I have to side with the masses on this one.
What are you so worried about? Only one loss, strong recruiting class, rising in the rankings, long-lost glory finally back within reach, and a perennial loser coming up next on the schedule.
Just like Pitt heading into the Rutgers game last week. What could possibly go wrong?
Click here...http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=282990221
And be afraid. Very afraid.
Hey Tyler...not sure who you are or how you found this post. But I really appreciate an El Paso perspective on Big Ten visitors coming to town.
As for us traveling better, that is about to change. At the 2006 Insight Bowl we traveled very well (11,500 tickets sold for a 5th place team...which is a good start).
No matter where we go this year, we will travel better than the Mason era (the word Mason will pretty much answer why).
Pat O,
You are so right on regarding Ruesse. Your the first to express my sentiments as I’ve wondered for years if I’m the only guy
who can’t figure out why this guy gets a good gig with the Trib.
Have you ever watched the late sports show with Mike Max? He has Sid, one- foot- in- the- grave Hartman, might-as-well-be-drunk Reusse, and
Looking even worse Dark Star as his team of experts. All right... Good thing you haven’t seen it!
Add Tom Powers of the Pioneer Press to your list as well.
Bill Mast
Tony,
Can't wait to see your blog once Tubby leaves the U for his next 2 year stint with the next coulda, woulda, shoulda, but didn't. Will Flip be the next one to don the gold blazer and pace the side court at Da Barn? PS Are you hiring? My favorite wife is a awesome freelance blogger....
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